Tha Red Light District...

Almost...

2009-02-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

So I paid my taxes (yay)...But I have the flu (Boo)...

If You Didnt Know, Well Now You Do...

2009-02-03T19:12:00.000-08:00

Well fam, this is gonna be the last post for about a month, reason being is that I just finished moving back to LA, and dammit I need a break...Anyways there is well over a hundred posts here to keep ya entertained in our, and I say our because well the other half of this blog is on a hiatus as well...What's her reason, I have no clue...Peace out fam, and see you soon...

Blunts Galore...

2009-01-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

Thats right bitches, y'all know what time it is...I'm high as hell right now, thanks Buddha...anyways as usual, you know the deal...this post will be random as hell, but very entertaining I hope...Lets get started shall we...

I realize now that I have some questionable ways...for instance, I don't too much care for fish, but give me some california rolls or sashimi and you've just possibly bought yourself a B.J.

I swore off Tequila on my birthday(long story), tell me why I'm on my third margarita extra rita right now...

To the Catholic kids at the school across the street from my house, I apologize sincerely, I honestly didn't/don't mean to scream the Lords name in vain every morning when you guys are out there on recess...In my defense, I was always taught to speak my mind...

Nia Long is sooooo fucking hot...

Who doesn't love the year 69

speaking of 69, I loves it

I use to eat crayons, which explains my love of hot candle wax dripping on my body, or maybe not, lol

I'm not as boojie as some may think, for I love hamburger helper...yeah I fucks with the glove, or hand, whatever the fuck the mascot is on the box...just add meat, milk and water...sounds like one of my sexual experiences gone wrong huh?

I stans for Reggae...

90% of the words out my mouth are vulgar, fuck yeah...see I told you so...

Dead people scare me...

I'm sooo sick of the word "swagger"...but hey if you got it flaunt it

my fatt ass need to go on a diet asap...I'm starting to love food more than sex, and thats not a good look in my book...Cause, well I'm a freak, but hey maybe I should involve food into......fuck that my sheets are expensive, something has got to give...

Justify my thug

I'm 22 so it only makes sense to have 22 inch rims on my baby...Oh wait, I don't think you guys have ever seen her... well I'm gonna post some pics...

Oh yes, she's sooo sexy, her name is Nina btw...

anyways back to the randomness, there are some dick-matized chicks here in oh well you know where I reside, anyways a mothafucka can eat my cooch from the back with the entire shut if down posse in his mouth and I still wouldn't buy him no damn house...Dumb hoes...

I can't stand Beyonces' ass, but I totally respect her...Her shit is fierce...

T-pain makes me want to sew my pussy lips together, honestly why is this mothafucka still in the gene-pool...fucking coon

Angel Lola said she can get a Bentley from a blowjob...so you're telling me that men are buying hoes Bentleys over some head, if thats the case, why are you still "modeling" in rap videos...Bitch we're in the middle of a recession, yo ass might and I say might get a remote control car out of one of these men, but I totally doubt a Bentley...

Pussy stocks are at a all time low right now...Thanks Angel Lola...

And on that note fam, time to light up again, I'm out...

P.S. weed makes me sooo horny so lets trade places...

Making Love To Nikki...

2009-01-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

We will discuss our recent disappearance sometime in the future...Lets just say the revelation will be a bit surprising...Anyhoo, I've been making love to Nikki, well not exactly, moreso Nick...Over the past couple of days I've been making some, well a ton of shocking conclusions(blame it on the weed) via my life...Long story short, I NEED TO MAKE CHANGES, whether it be financially, emotionally, spiritually, health-wise, and the list goes on...No joke I REALLY NEED TO MAKE CHANGES, this shit is insane...Anyways back to making love to Nikki...Also, in my little self-evaluation, LOVE was on the top shelf of things to be re-arranged, dusted, twisted, turned, re-did.......You know I used to think, back in my immaturity of Lessons in Love, that it never worked or could'nt possibly work because well..."He's never home", "Who's this/that bitch", "I know he's hiding something", "He's not my type", "He doesn't bank in this much a year", "He's a man, they all cheat, lie, and steal"...You know that type of shit, and up until recently I honestly had no idea why my list of relationships was short, but damaging...I.E, I've only actually "been in love" a total of three times, shocking, I know, but sooo off topic so keep up...I realize now that theres no one to blame but the one and only...You know that bitch that looks back at me when I look in the mirror...Yeah thats right, I'm to blame...Now before you give me that "Oh its not your fault, men aint shit", bullshit, let me say that I'M A GROWN ASS WOMAN...I repeat A GROWN ASS WOMAN, look that shit up and I guarantee you will see my pic next to it like whats up...Back to nikki, yeah like I was saying theres no one to blame but myself, don't get me wrong, not nah(yes nah) one of victims were perfect, not even fucking close if you ask me, but a hellava, no, 100% of an improvement than some of these so-called men festering the Earth...So how does this have anything to do with making love to nikki...Well, my man, The Dream has this song entitled "Nikki"...This song is my past-relationship to the T...And alls I can say now is I've been making love to Nikki...Peace out fam...

AAagghhh...

2009-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

Currently in the process of moving, be back soon fam...

What A Year...

2008-12-31T09:33:00.000-08:00

Well its about that time once again...Time to let go of the old and bring in the new...This is gonna be short and sweet, I'm currently in between outfits and beds, but I digress...Anyways I present to you "The List"...Which is basically a list of several post that we decided were the all time hotties of 2008...Enjoy peeps...

Numero 5: Georgy Porgy...Puddin Pie...This little hot number made the list only because I didn't (or at least don't think so) speak of not one vulgar word...I'm such a fucking lady...

Numero 4: Or Could It Be...Well fam this was a no brainer ...I swear this broad has no gatt damn sense...But this of course you already know...

Numero 3:This Marriage Is In Trouble...I Think We Need Counseling......Ahhh, the infamous ode to my first love Music...Need I say more...

Numero 2: Number Two...First...Nothing to see here folks, move it on along...Jk, this little number is a bit too hot to try, and is only for the daring...To be honest with ya, this particular one wasn't my choice, the freak that is my BFF ranked it high so I'll give it second place...

Drumroll please...And now I present to you our all time favorite post(s) of 2008...Wow this was indeed a tough decision but we were able to narrow it down to just two...So, yes we have a tie...the first one being of course my favorite post Go On Boy...And of course the BFF chooses Number One...First...

Dear 2008, I'm so sad to see you go, I mean we've spent 366 (leap year bitches) days together and I must admit that I've grown quite fond of you and your surprises...Yeah its been an eventful time, but I must move on...I know that this is the end, and I've made peace with that, but can you do me a favor and inform 2009 that he belongs to me...I've already claimed my better being in this new year, and nothing shall stand in my way...Just so there aren't any surprises...Deuces fam, and sincerely from the bottom of my heart I wish you nothing but goodwill, prosperity, love, and all that good shit in the year to come...May it be just as wonderful if not better than mine...

Humph...

2008-12-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

I LIVE BY THIS SHIT!!!...Nuff Said

Did I eva tell ya how much I love that bitch that goes by the name of Keyshia Cole...She's ghetto as fuck, but can sing her ass off...Anyways dis here track by the name of "Thought You Should Know", off her new hot ass album "A Different Me" is fiya...Enjoy...

And with all randomness I present "Go On Boy"...I don't know fam, but for some reason this is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts...Also I've decided to end this year with "The List"...Basically a compilation of my fav posts of the year...I'm lazy, this I know...

Don't Ask Why

2008-12-15T10:58:00.001-08:00

High Times...

2008-12-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

I'm currently higher than a giraffe's ass right now, so I will admit that this post will absolutely be a total random one...whatever comes to mind is what you get...Firstly, I was asked a few days ago "Do you feel small standing next to oceans"...I will admit, I basically blew it off cause the shit didn't make sense at the time, but after giving it much thought, I would have to say no, I don't...maybe its cause I'm too fucking conceited...

I can't think of any "Leo's" in my family...Gonna do some investigating...Live for the moment, don't hold onto stuff...Fuck pink, where's the purple...Ultimate orgasm, I mean really is there such a thing...And if so, I truly wouldn't want to experience it...Having a regular O for me is already unsafe enough as it is due to me wailing my arms around frantically with the thunder thighs shaking so much a bitch can get a reading off the richter scale...No gracias on that ultimate orgasm stuff...

Odd(numbers), like why is it odd?...its a typical number...but I guess because the whole couple factor isn't there that makes it odd...Joining the mile-high club was so worth me pulling a damn muscle...You only live once...Believe it or not, I would mos def take my wants over my needs...Call it immaturity or whatever, but being "satisfied" is sooo fucking appeasing...I mean we all have needs, but actually getting what you want has a bit more power over your person...I know personally I feel as though I've achieved something anytime my wants are fulfilled...Like the definite (at the moment) satisfaction...

I've had a few and I mean few booty calls/one night stands...Fuck, and goodluck...I'm such a heartbreaker...Got to get my truck registration...My first love, a boy by the name of Kirby who had a big dick...We were in the first grade, I know, I know, I became a whore before I learned Algebra...Don't judge me,lmao...Whisper in my ear and I am done, a total turn on...I love taking pictures cause these bitches wanna be me...I love calling YOU daddy...Seriously why are there all these unnecessary letters in the word "queued"...All you need is the Q and the D...I mean really, whoever came up with that word must have been trying to compensate for something...Just a Q and a D, don't forget the apostrophe, jackasses...

LMAO...

2008-12-01T10:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah this is some funny shyt...Kinda reminds me of how my drunk ass stumbled to bed "the morning after"...Classic...

Oldie But Goodie

2008-11-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

Since I feel like being a bum today, lets just post some ignance.

O-Mothafucking-Le'. But not every one stans for our mischeif :(

But then again, no one on the corner has swagga like us.

*Shudders* Yep, so lets play a little game of "Wheres The Bitches", kinda like Wheres Waldo, but more sexier. Your job is to locate the two infamous bitches of this blog in the first gif. Don't worry, I will leave a clue, we both were dancing, good luck peoples.

Wait...Wait...Wait...

2008-11-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

You mean to tell me we have done a hundred of these mofos all ready...Oh no man this is a joke...No way possible we are at a hundred and haven't got not nah, not one e-mail, fax, stamped letter saying that we should shut down house or the feds goin do an invasion...LMAO, yo fam, today is the day like David Spade, and tonight is the night like Betty Wright...Never thought that we would see the day, but your oh so fabulous bitches that despise snitches are proud to say we made it to 100 mothafucking posts(though I did most of the work, that other heffa came in at the end, and expecting some cut)...To be honest I really don't know why we are suppose to be celebrating this, but apparently to Blogger and Bloggers this is a big deal...I honestly don't give a fuck, but we goin go ahead and keep the peace...Now, if you don't know how the misses and the gang celebrates or maybe even just forgot, let me school ya a lil bit...There will be lots of drankin...and I do mean lots, I have the tolerance of a bull...Lots of smoking, no need to elaborate, and whatever the hell else comes to mind(mainly just watch youtube videos and laugh our asses off)...In honor of such a joyous event, why not play a clip from one of my fav D.V.D's...Oh and no victory will be complete without thanking the people behind the scenes of this awful movie of a blog we got going...So yes Fam, thanks a million, for without your, what are we up to averaging like four views a day, this blog would be lamer than The Pussycat Dolls...HOLLA!!!

Breaking Mothafuckin News

2008-11-06T19:13:00.001-08:00

*trying to compose myself, cause its not funny, but then again just imagining what Really happened in the Wal-Mart(is the devil) parking lot with the misses and the little lady that just about totaled her big boy Caddy, is getting the best of me. So I receive a call about lets say about three hours ago of who I thought was the misses, and was, but the pissed off version. Man, when I tell you this is not one chick you want to piss off, believe that shit. You know how those Louisianans are with that voodoo and shit, I don't fucks with em, lol. So, I pick up the phone and all I hear is her yelling "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it", over and over again. I was like who the fuck are you talking about and who hit what. Still, "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it". By this time I was ready to hang up thinking that she was having a bad trip off the weed or something until she came out with the slurred version of what really happened. "The bitch fucking hit my truck, I'm in so much pain right now", and immediately fear just shot through my spine. I was thinking, because of the way she was talking, that she was hurt or possibly severely injured, but umm no. Thing is, from what I was told she was shopping in Wal-Mart only to come out to half of her truck just smashed. I honestly don't know how this is possible, I mean its not like she drives one of those Barbie doll cars, so whoever it was must have had like one of those ol school military hummers that can drive through buildings and shit. I've got the feeling she's gonna do something crazy tonight in retaliation, and I of course will be the one bailing her punk ass out. Lets rewind back to the good ol days(about a week ago) when life was good and the misses watched "I Love The Fishes" for the first time, enjoy.

The Morning After...

2008-11-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

Halloween of course...What y'all thought I forgot about that shit...Hells no, lets just say a bitch was looking rather rough...I mean ROUGH...I really don't too much remember that night, but heres a quote(text) from the BFF as to what exactly she saw...

*Insert at least 15 prior texts*

"Wow thats classic...Sort of like for Halloween your fat ass got so messed up...Fucking woke up in the closet with makeup smeared, hair everyone, one heel on, fucking fishnets stuck to hangers and shit...Bitch yo ass was looking like the joker off batman and shit...Fucking Jose and Spliff fucked yo ass royally...Shit I can't talk though...I burned my damn hand on them bricks from the fireplace, didn't feel that shit til the next day...Apparently a bitch got thirsty and decided to sit on the counter...Fucking woke up with a glass of OJ in one hand and a leg on the sink...Good mothafucking times bitch...Thats why you're in my will."

Random: I'm Such A Fatty

Keep On

2008-11-05T21:55:00.000-08:00

"I Got The Shit To Make Your Ass Write A Bad Check"...OMG this is a classic...Fucking Mc Lyte at her best...Enjoy

Somebody Told Me...

2008-10-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

"Misses, just live your life...This world is too fucked up as it is, don't relish on the good ol days...Tomorrow ain't promised bitch. To say fuck you/it/them/him/her and actually mean that shit is not only a sentence enhancer but a natural stress reliever and on occasion an afrodisiac...Do you bitch, and mothafuck the haters"

Take a wild guess as to who spoke this to me...All I ask of you is to just live your life...

Marriage Sucks

2008-10-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows (or at least I think so) how I feel about commitment, let alone marriage, and no its not a matter of immaturity, addiction, or any other classification of my choices that in all honesty can't be classified. I'm just ME, and can't possibly fathom being with one person until, well until. With nothing but respect for those who make that decision, its just not my thing. So, of course I'm gonna find humor in wedding mishaps. Its kinda my past time, jk, but I live for a good accident, mishap, or anything that involves mofos busting their asses, getting bitch slapped, antiqued, ruining coffee tables, and such. Long story short, the misses emailed a video of a wedding ceremony gone wrong, naturally I laughed cause, well I won't spoil it. In-te-hoo, after viewing the hilariousness, I decided to view some of the commentary as well, and I must say that "White America", and feel free to kiss my ass for the generalization, has no gatt damn sense of humor. True, its a very special moment of your life and should be perfect, blah, blah, blah, but come on, lighten up. I know personally, if something like this were to happen at a Hispanic, or even Black wedding not one soul in that mofo would have silenced the laughter, cause well, thats what we do, laugh at funny shit. Oh and don't take my word for it, here is some of the commentary.

mitchberry24 (1 day ago)

how did they deserve it! The guy was a priest! And the girl was the bride!
(Come on man, God has a sense of humor, hence the mishap)

zabciazln (4 days ago)

Man I would kill that dude if that would be me
(Wow, is it that serious? Now I would mos def cause bodily harm to a skank over some lemonade jelly beans, but not neva over, well just watch the video)

lanrem (5 days ago)

The groom is not worth his salt...He should have jumped in after her in a heartbeat!
So much for, "I love you with all my soul"

(*With a puzzled look on my face* Ummm, no comment)

Yep, truly corny mofos. Forgive me white people for I have *proceeds to count on one hand*(oh the irony) some white friends, I think. Maybe its just me, but "White America" tickles the shit out of me. Do these mofo's really think that having Stretch-Armstrong and a MILF(Yes, indeed I would) as the next president is a master plan. Uggg, the stupidity and wrong post, lets get back to it shall we. Point of this rant, what "others" may find funny, I'm sure Lucy or Becky won't. In their minds, once again bite me for the generalization, the thought of Kyle or Steve busting their asses is no funny matter. And to that I say with a look of seriousness, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

The video in question, now tell me this isn't some funny shit.

LMAO, I don't see why she was so upset. If it was me, I would have forced the misses to throw some instant jello into that bitch, and made it a night to remember. Speaking of which,

And I'm out this bitch!!!!!!

I Got 5 On It

2008-10-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yo, peoples, I know this is a bit late, but better than never I always say. In-te-hoo, this will be short, there will only be post from myself the upcoming week. The misses has mid-terms or some shit like that, so get ready. Why don't we kick this off with a bang, I shall be doing a little of this myself tonight, enjoy.

WTF

2008-10-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

So, right now I have a headache from hell...Maybe its from crashing from the damn sugar rush I get because of the munchies...I need a new hobby...Anyhoo, this is one of my fav videos to watch post-smoketivity...Still to this day, its hilarious...

Addiction...

2008-10-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

"You smell like likka and failure"...LMAO @ the inside joke...Anyhoo fam, My Sistah Of Fuggery threatened to disown me if I didn't get back on my grind with this blogging thing...So to keep a happy home, I'm gonna do my best to at least put something out there more than once a week...Now what does the misses know about more than dack, likka, and ganja...Music...And what is the misses feeling right now via music...Ryan Leslie's "Addiction"...Here it is fam, enjoy *dodging bullets from SOF*

Wierd...

2008-10-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

So fam I totally forgot that I would be doing the posting for the next couple of weeks...For everyones favorite hoochie is/will be in Seattle for the next couple of weeks doing whatever the hell she does to make money...Prostituting if you ask me, but who am I to judge anyone...

Random Events And Occurrences Of The Week:

Yesterday I didn't have any classes until the evening...So the whores that I call friends came over to supposedly aid in my studying...Little of this studying that I speak of happened...The hilarity that was pretty much my afternoon began when Sierra called to rant about traffic and the prices of drinks in the rainy city...Me being the genius that I am decided to put her on speaker phone...I should probably state that the majority of the time that we are "all" together is filled with arguments and threats...Its kind of a love/hate relationship between us...Anyhoo let the fuckery begin...This shit went on for about an hour, long story short, everyone called cease fire when "Chris" threatened to go to war on Sierra's baby the Benz G500 using coontactics and armor-all...I haven't laughed so hard in weeks...I could just imagine the look on her face when she said that...Y'all just don't know how obsessed she is with that damn truck...Anyways being the hispanic/black mix that she is politely began to cuss that ass out in a mixture of spanglish/gibberish...She says the shit so fast no one can understand a word she's saying...Yeah good mothafuckin times...

Speaking of school, things are pretty much going in my favor right now...Biology is a bitch, but I straight up raped my last few tests...The shit was quite trying, but I aced it no doubt...

The mans is still fat & sexy...But he straight up got the time game fucked up...A few nights ago we stayed up til like 4 in the morning smoking and dranking...And of course eating random shit like chili and guacamole...Hey don't knock it until you try it...Anyhoo, went to bed at 4...I forgot to set the alarm clock, for my ass had to be in class at 8:35 the next day...Lets see I was awakened at 8 with a hard dick in my ass, with a smile on its owners face...I was like baby I'm going to be late as it is and you want to add on to it...And we had all night to fuck, you want to wait until ten minutes until I have to be in class to bone...Nah son, you got the game fucked up...This of course fell on dry ears...I, of course missed the first class of the day, but made him make it up to me by taking me out to lunch...I need a new hobby...

Thats it fam, I'm going to leave you with a little "Soul Shadows"...I've been feeling Bill like a mofo lately, and this is my jam...I'LL HOLLA...

Flashing Lights...

2008-10-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

So the misses has been cheating her ass off lately. I was SUPPOSE to do my comeback last night but instead was lured to that deadly sexy condo of hers with the promise of "la" and of course a bountiful pantry of moonpies and shyt. Thats exactly what happened "little poison for the system", some good shit. If ever given the chance everyone should get blazed with this chick, its hilarious. I remember us laying on the couch watching the Kanye West "Flashing Lights" video and looking in amazement like is this the REAL video. For some strange reason, the video seemed like it was 6 hours, the misses had a question for every damn thing that happened, and I've never ate so much garbage a day in my life. I woke up looking around like why are these fritos stuck to my tiddies...In-Te-Hoo, I think I'm still a bit blazed, I told y'all that was some good shit. Here it is close to 1 and I still feel the need analyze everydamnthing. She's cheating I tell you, so when I come to my senses, this broad is going down. Toodles.

Updated Version:
In my opinion there are two types of "freaks". Number one being a good fuck, no a decent fuck. Just the shit to get your rocks off, but no wedding is in tow, comprende', keep up. Next we have the fuck(freak) that is a bit elevated from the typical. This is the type of freak who is so sure of themselves and trust me it shows. This type of freak can take dick til the cows come home, and the pussy will still be in tact. If ever given the chance to experience this type of freak, one may become infatuated, and all that good shit, and settle if you will. Now me being the freak of freaks know that there is really no need to brag, for the proof is in the pudding. Now I must say that the misses did make a valid point about single sex, and tied sex. Its true that single sex is way more kinkier if you will than any sex that you may have with some random. Lets just call it emotional sex, at least we agree on something. Back to it, Bitchy and demands nothing but the best, yeah you can say that. I will school your punk ass if need be, "deeper and harder, come on its okay to fuck me", that type of shit. So lets get this list started now that I have stated the facts.

Why do we have to go to Jamaica everydamnyear? *question of the girlfriends* Not really wanting to tell them the truth about why women REALLY love Jamaica, and I personally cause of the Jamaican black snake. You can't really consider yourself in a three-some until you've had two of these hung-drung mofo's. Oh the memories, last year my little private show took place on the beach. Two chocolaty bros, endless drinks, and hours of fucking. I must say I was looking for their kids most of the time, cause I just couldn't get enough of the way that the juices tasted. Yeah good times, matter of fact I think its time for our annual vacation.

So I have this box full of sexual goodies. I.E. dildos, cock rings, anal beads, lube, clit massagers, knock off viagra(just to keep the party going), and much more. Safety word, prison, it takes alot for me to give in and say prison, but this last chick in which I envy had me saying it within the first 15. Not never did I think I would be in a situation of the sort with any chick, I used to always think to myself whats the point, I couldn't possibly get any kind of satisfaction from this. Lets just say that college life changed my whole perspective.

You know if you really looked hard enough, and actually knew what to look for, ya might be able to find videos of my skills. I know the misses is goin be pissed about that, I loves her and all but this is a competition. Call it a low-blow if ya want, but I shall not lose. Toodles

They Say...

2008-09-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

What do you want to be when you grow up Misses...*Answering the question at hand*...A mothafucking porn star, Jazmine Cashmere style...That bytch is my hero, OLE'...So since my competitor didn't post any rules or anything like that...I'm just gonna do this list style...And once I see what kind of competition that I have, take it from there...Yes, its true I've been "dick-whipped" for a while now so I haven't been as naughty as I was when single...Key word single, cause I did/do some unforgivable shyt when there are no ties...Anyhoo, shall we begin, I'm only gonna give a teaser...

*puts on Trina's baddest bitch single to set the mood*
(Le Tenderoni Days of Misses I.E., from age 16 to age 19)

You know I've done the usual, parks, cars, city zoo, public transportation, how many people can say The Governor Mansion...Why, I can...Bet you're wondering where the fuck was security...I kept them(yes them, my only threesome) busy...Everyone had a mouthful, so the screams and moans couldn't be heard...

I've always had this thing for men in uniform...Most women do, but mine was a little extreme...I would go on these little "runs" with this cop that I used to chill with...I want to say thanks to the one special officer in which I mastered wide-necking on...Who says I have no valuable skills, HA

Had a girlfriend once, no need to elaborate, and besides this is my secret weapon in case the BFF feels the need to get in a couple of low blows...HOLLA!!!

Battle Of Le Freaks...

2008-09-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

To be honest I don't even know why I'm entertaining this but umm your eyes are not playing tricks on you. The misses and I decided that this week we are going to play a little game of who's the freakiest of the freaks. So instead of the usual, there will be nothing but random posts of naughty adventures from each of us. I don't even know why she believes in that ice pile of a heart that she has that she's mastered pleasure such as I, but hey we can all dream. I mean the fat boy has had that ass dick-whipped for a long ass time now, she's young as fuck, we all know that with age comes wisdom, and that is not just a figure of speech, and blah blah blah. Who's the master of their domain(of course its gonna be me, I fucks with the best of them), you be the judge. I'm outty.

Hotter Than A Wet Cooch...

2008-09-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

Yo, whats up fam...Its truly, truly been a hot minute since, well since...I see that the BF has been boring the shyt out of ya with that lame sense of humor(laughing at my recent bout with that bytch of a virus)...OMG I have not nevah in my 20 plus years felt such pain...It was no fun at all...But now that I'm back, lets have a mothafucking party...

They say Misses what have you been doing...and to that I say a little of this...

Well lots of this...But hey when the DOCS force you to go to rehab for a week because of some stupid ass virus, you'll fall off the wagon pretty damn hard as well...And when I say fall, I mean run, jump, do some damn cartwheels off that bitch...To hell with being sober...Hell I can't even remember the last time I was sober, alls I know is that I didn't like it one damn bit...Straight B.S...Been getting a lot of time in at the ballpark as well...Bet y'all didn't know that I was into sports, trying to imagine my boojie ass out in the heat hitting some balls...Oh yes, I would walk to the ends of the earth for some balls...Balls, balls, and more balls, keep up...I've had some sex lately that I'm seriously ashamed of...Just nasty, crazy, insane fucking...Shit got so bad last night, afterwards I just yelled "I Fucking Hate You", got my keys, fuck clothes I didn't need em, and drove around town thinking of ways to hack this mofo without ending up in jail...Y'all laugh but I'm as serious as a heart-attack...I've been getting fucked so good, I straight up hate his ass right now...Did a little changing of the decor, nothing drastic...We now have a black accent wall in the master bedroom...It's starting to grow on me, though I was partial to the first...That's about all that has been going on with moi...It's been real lovely as usual fam...I've got a dinner date with Pee-On-My-Face Sierra, and the rest of the gang, so say a prayer for me...Nothing good ever comes out of these little dates, someone either wakes up in their office with honey and paper-clips stuck to their tiddies(bet ya can't guess who), or in my case cooks pancakes and shit in the nude...Will it ever end...

Love Bites...

2008-09-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

So, I got the exclusive on what the misses has in store for us this week, and alls I can say is Love Bites, enjoy.

Or Could It Be Pt. 2

2008-09-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well looky here. I'm doing the weekly jumpoff. Never thought I would see the day, but I have my reasons, The Misses has food poisoning(secretly LMAO). Yes, and has it bad, severe BG's, so I promised I would kick the week off with a bang.

So, as I stated in my last post, I work with some serious needing Jesus people. This past Friday, I decided that going to work this day wasn't going to happen, for I had shit to do, like get drunk with the homies too damn early in the morn. In-te-hoo, these are some mofos that are just too smart, but oh so dumb at the same time. Y'all know exactly what I'm talking about, confusing, well I don't know what to tell ya. So I called in, and when I say I call in, its usually something that I've just made up i.e. A Black Panther Meeting in Denver, I got evicted, or my all time fav, cause I'm a genius, I have Tendennocolomia. Yep, thats what was stated to the dumbasses on Friday. True, as usual they felt sorry for me and blah blah blah. See, being on salary w. commission has it benefits, I may have lost a couple hundred that day, but it was worth it. Didn't go to work, and not only did I play hookie, but talked the other members of the bytch brigade into doing so as well, long story short neither one of us survived to noon.

The daunting task of the topic of the week, well I'm not doing it thats for damn sure, and that broad needs to show her face/ass. So yes, it will be done by the recently AWOL misses. The topic, I'm not sure, prolly goin be about sexin or drankin, cause we all know thats pretty much her life story. Like I said, she is currently going through/getting over food poisoning and this is one chick that you pray to God never gets sick. She is so overly-dramatic/spoiled, who's to blame, that fat BF of hers, imma just let him deal with it, and chill in the cut. And as always, if you haven't slapped the shit out of someone lately, feel free to do so. It has its benefits.

Or Could It Be...

2008-09-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Fuck You AIG*****End of disclaimer

Have you been drinking? *blank stare, and completely thinking to myself that this is the most illiterate heffa I've unfortunately spoken to* No umm, my speech is slurred, and my walk is a little wobbly because I recently suffered a STROKE!!! Of course I'm drunk bitch, and yes I'm managing folks money all at the same time. Fucking chatty, talky, Jovan musk wearing ditz. As as you should have figured out by now, yours truly is sashaying the topic of the week *flippin off the misses, knowing good damn well she could have did this shit, like I ain't got nothing else to do, I don't but that ain't the point* And by now you should have also guessed the topic.

Lame ass, unproductive, excuse me while I muster up the corniest shoe salesman joke ever, halitosis mouth full of funk having, suicidal(yes, here at the bank of hell we have them), I wish she/he would just shut the fuck up, CO-WORKERS. Or maybe its just me.

I work with some of the dizziest ass clowns ever. No, I'm not being sarcastic. Lets see, last week my associate(probably the least fucked up person besides myself), well my associates wife decides to confront him about an affair he's having with Skeletor(the blonde head/headgiver of the parking lot, this bitch has no upper lip nor anything to resemble immaculate head game, why these ducks flock to her like chicken grease to a heart is thought provoking to me). Long story short, she's facing domestic abuse charges. The hilarity. Another one in particular, my favorite, and the heffa who's my motivation behind all of this is bout the most annoying no social skills having tramp to ever walk the face of this earth. I swear I would take 15 bad ass kids any day over her. You know it wouldn't be so bad if they would just get the damn lock fixed on my office door like I demanded six fucking months ago. I could just lock myself in a room of peace and visit the far far far away land of no bullshit, but since I can't, I have to deal with professional idiots. Also, being that my office just so happens to be strategically centered right in front of Tooties, I am often blessed with the loud yelping of my name from across the hall, waking me from my eyes open nap for a gatt damn pen, invoice, file, lube. Shit it doesn't matter with Tootsie. I'm fine with that, the bitch needed a pen. What irks my nerve is the constant need to tell me life stories, like I have confessional/google written on my forehead...Theres not a day that passes that I don't wish to have some kind of super powers to rid my being from the disdain of the presence of this hoe. If only, if only. And I know I'm not the only one suffering from this type of entertainment, maybe one day those aliens they keep spotting in CO will just do us all a favor and take their people back with them. I'm tired of dealing with them, and just in case you haven't today, go out and SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF SOMEONE. Trust me, its sooo gratifying.

The Updated Version: Well because I have INSOMNIA like I don't have to go to work in exactly 2 mothafucking hours, why don't we jam out a bit. *singing* "Cook Me Up A Movie Star Breakfast, More My Dear, More My Dear. They've Got To Have Them In Texas, Cause Everyones A Millionaire." The Misses has me hooked on this damn song, and the tantalizing lyrics doesn't help at all as well, Ladies & Gents Supertramp "Breakfast In America".

Bitch Please...

2008-09-15T22:59:00.001-07:00

So, I was suppose to be doing the topic of the week or some shit like that, I fucking forgot, bite me. In-Te-Hoo, it was this long drawn boring shit about my profession as a professional BITCH. Not your average every-day, boring, house-wife tramp. I'm talking bout the bitch that has weak coons and fortunately other faces of the world at her every beckoning command. Long story short, I didn't have the time. Ol massa ova there at the Bank :side eyein the fuck out of them hoes: have been holding this BITCH hostage. Mofos everywhere are selling/trading stocks like its no tomorrow, the assholes. If I had one wish it would be to slap the fuck out of ol Bushy, eat cunt you rancid rapist. Somebody please tell me why the fuck gas is higher than pussy. I mean pussy is an arm and a leg, but why do I not feel satisfied once I fill up the Beamer Truck, shit can it at least come with some head. Speaking of head, this may be the land of losers, but the mens, oh the mens can give some head that will have a hoe calling in, making dinner, praying for children of said head giver, buying drawls for the licker. Some good headery, so its about that time, I slowly feel myself sobering up, and here in THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT, thats a full no no. If ya haven't slapped the shit out of anyone lately, feel free to do so. Be sure to cuss them out afterwards, just to seal the deal.

Hold The Phone

2008-09-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

Gat Dammit...See, I told that broad she had to do the post on Wednesday...And lo and behold it isn't done...Sorry fam, I'm gonna go strangle my BFF, and force her to do the post...She probably won't do it today, cause work is kicking that ass right now, but it will get done, trust...

Pure Hilarity

2008-09-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

So the misses has these fucking awesome employees. So awesome that I was in fact able to talk 90% of them into making a secret myspace page for her. Seriously, its 2008, who doesn't have a myspace page. Her country black ass. In-Te-Hoo, so they set up this page with some of the most shameful pics, her status is a swinger, slob on the knob is her theme song, not sure is her orientation. I'm telling y'all this is some of the funniest shit that I've ever seen. Apparently they love the boss very much. Well without any further adieu, the link (since the hyperlink isn't working www.myspace.com/ttrashawn). And whats makes this even funnier is that theres pretty much of nothing that she can do about it, seeing how they set it up with some random e-mail, everyone knows the login info except her, so she just has to chuck it up. LMAO

I'll Keep Holding On...

2008-09-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

Yo, whats up fam...Oh me oh my, alls I can say is that I'm making it...School is getting the best of me, but its sooooo worth of it...Not a real lot to say in this post fam but be looking for some changes seeing how me and the bff have teamed up...Goody goody, but yes, there will be a few changes, nothing drastic though...Anyhoo, turn up your speakers and rock out with one of my favorite inspirational songs, Simply Red "Holding Back The Years"...This song has gotten me through so much and is in heavy rotation nowadays...Anyways fam, topic of the week, lets see...Its a surprise(mainly cause I have no idea, but it will be nothing but the best), something different...Oh and show my bff some love, she's new to this whole blogging thang, but I promise you will love her just as much as I...Alright Fam, thanks for blessing me with your presence, I promise to do the same...HOLLA!!!

Like A Moth To A Flame

2008-09-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

I should be asleep right now. I seriously think that my ass is still drunk. Hanging out with a human party in a box until she feels the need to began her nightly sexual rituals will do that to you. In-Te-hoo, its Friday, all I can say is fuck the bank. My place of work, by the way. What does my job entail? Okay, ya asked for it. I'm a broker with American Express Financial Advisors here in Totoville(not really the name of the city, I'm just partial to totoville), managing portfolios and doing estate plans for high-net-worth clients. Pretty boring shit huh? Well I must say that the job has its benefits, I've met many fuck and goodlucks out that bitch. Just don't tell anyone. Oh and one more thing before I head back to bed, please for the sake of your sanity, don't expect long drawn out post from my ass. My name is not Misstory, T-Dawg, T Shawn, T Bone, #1Dick Ridah, or whatever the fuck she's going by nowadays. I keep shit short and simple, unless I'm ranting, and in this case I'm not. Point of this post, I'm still fucking drunk.

No Need For An Introduction

2008-09-04T13:46:00.001-07:00

For if you read this blog than you will know exactly who I am. Ok, Ok, cause I know the Misses will be on my ass, I will just give an informal intro. The name is, well you don't need to know all of that, and I ain't trying to become a victim of ID theft. In-te-ways, the Misses, founder and creator of this ignant ass blog, my BFF on certain days, and future baby momma a la fat boy, decided that one ignant point of view wasn't enough. So here I am. I just want to go ahead and apologize, for a future with me is guaranteed shipment to hell. Don't worry, I won't taint you just yet, maybe tomorrow we will kick things off right. I've got a meeting with Mr. Belvedere and Mrs. Cranberry, and they say if I'm late, I will have to Screw their son Driver. Let that marinate.

Aaaahhhhh!!!!!

2008-09-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

School is kicking my ass...That is all...

Short & Sweet

2008-08-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

*Singing*
"I don't ever want to stop loving you boy"
"So don't you ever stop bringing me joy"

I'm a little too tipsy off the Tequila Rose to do the usual right now, so be looking out for it tomorrow fam...So excuse me...*Goes back to singing*

Update: So mofos think that because you have a lot of shyt you won't notice when something is missing...So, I lost of my favorite watches...I'm using lost lightly...Anyhoo, I've searched high and low for it and still no progress...The watch is very special to me...It was a gift from my BFF Sierra...It's black and outlined with black diamonds...and blah, blah, blah...I admit I was pretty wasted the last time that I had it on, but also remember taking that shyt off and placing it on the coffee table in the living room...And now its gone...I'm so depressed right now...Alls I can say is that I hope that I find it, or whoever does will be a lucky mofo...Unless they're ignant and think that Bvlgari is the same as Boss and the black diamonds are Swarovski crystals...The shame...Wish me luck...

Feel The Need...

2008-08-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah thats right fam, its that time of the month once again...What time you ask, bitchy, bitchy, bitchy, ranting time...I haven't done of these in a while and am beginning to feel the need...Anyways lets kick this off with my current situation...

I haven't experienced an orgasm in a damn week...Shocking I know, tell me about it...My BF has really been on some other shit lately...I think he's switched over to the other side...Just kidding...But seriously, basically he's been getting me all hot and bothered and passing the fuck out...Snoring and shit...His schedule is really hectic right now, and this I understand...But why the torture...I'm beginning to think he's doing it on purpose...I mean, I've gotten some lick em up at work, but thats it...No rub it down and smack it, NOTHING!!! Which explains why I've been so bitter lately...

School is starting...Notice the excitement...I have orientation at 8 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon...I am not looking forward to this at all...I would rather watch Flavor Flav do that nasty crab-infested broad he used to bang...

My mother of 21 years decides that fighting over small talk and going to jail is whats hot this summer...Yes, y'all the moms straight up went to jail a few nights ago for fighting...I'm like come on mom, you're 38, why are you fighting...Don't you have a book club meeting or something to go to...To be honest, I'm not shocked at all...She doesn't take shit off of anyone, I'm really just amazed she was able to bail out so soon...The fight occurred just after midnight, and she was out before the sun came up...Pure hilarity I tell you...All I can do is shake my head, and say that the chick must have deserved it...

Work...I swear fo gawd if I hear one more rancher, farmer, goat herder, or whatever the fuck these cowboys do up here complain about our prices...I'm going to slap my puppy...Just kidding, I loves my baby...But back to the rant...I'm gonna do some CSI shit on one of them mothafuckas...Nobody told you to bring yo country azz up in here, so either you sit the fuck down and eat or play past ways...Its that simple...Lame ass, skunk piss smelling mofos...

Thats it fam...I'm gonna go get teased once again...I just keep telling myself that this time will be different...Hopefully, cause I don't think I can go another day without feeling a dack, fanga, toe, something, inside the orifices of my chocolaty goodness...I'LL HOLLA!!!

This Marriage Is In Trouble...I Think We Need Counseling...

2008-08-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

What do you mean, we're fine...Do you hear the shit that you have me listening too...Come on, this is too much for me...Whatever happened to the days when you would woo me with insatiable lyrics such as "There be some love making, heartbreaking, soul shaking love"...Or remember the time when I was going through some things and you came to the rescue with "My Life"...Whats up baby...Tell me what I have to do to make things like they used to be...I guess it will never be the same, I mean you told me in your own words "Its never as good as the first time"...But why must it be this way...Why must you who once was a rebel now conform to this garbage lingo, bubble gum nonsense, and expect me to live in this household when I am truly partial to the first...I can't go on this way...Either you change up your ways or I will be forced to leave you...Trust me I already have one foot outside the door...:SCENE:

Don't get me wrong counselor, he/she isn't all bad...Every now and again I fall in love once more...Just yesterday I was listening to the promo album "Fearless", by one of the children Jazmine Sullivan...I thought my heart was going to explode with joy...It satisfied me, but shortly afterwards I fell back into this devastating hatred...Its just an up and down relationship...Am I expecting perfection...Yes,Yes, I am...I know the capabilities..."I Want You"..."Extensions Of A Man"..."Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite"..."Rapture"..."My Name Is Joe"...Were pure perfection...So please excuse me if I have a hard time burying my anger for "Crank Dat"..."Wobble"...and shit such as "Marco Polo"...I have every damn right to be disgruntled, perturbed, perplexed, annoyed...Maybe I should just take "A Long Walk"...Figure this shit out...:SCENE:

What do you mean, why do I have such high expectations for the melody that is slowly diminishing?...Well because I'm stubborn and I believe that deep down below this mockery of itself...Once more I can/ will be pleased...I shall forever hold on to the days of "Building A Mystery"...I shall forever reminisce of "Reminisce"...Even though I try I "Can't Let Go"...I'm spoiled, fucking got it bad do you hear me...This love-affair began when I was too young to understand the love, warmth, pain, joy and self description behind the lyrics...I remember impeccably the first time I heard "This Masquerade"...Daddy was smoking a HOYO de MONTERREY cigar and sippin the wino...Me, myself and I, well I was in a trance...The smoothness, how George Benson made that guitar weep, the classy piano notes...Bought a tear to my eye...I was lost in the masquerade...Or the first time I was blessed to hear "The Secret Garden"...My parents were boning at the time, and I had no business up past my bedtime, but it was just so mesmerizing...Al B. Sure kicked things off with his infamous "Oh" and I knew it was on...James, James, James Ingram told me there was a melody that we could sing together...And that we did...Barry, well there are no words...And I touched myself repeatedly when Eldra said "If you think I'm gonna take care of you...If you think I got what you need...Sho you right"...Oooohhhh, excuse me once again...:SCENE:

Do I think that we can work this out?...Absolutely, but only if the promise is made that one day the melody in which I vowed to spend an eternity with will return...If not, I must say my goodbyes...For I shall not continue down this path only to be disappointed in the end...But then again, its totally worth it...For Music I will make that sacrifice...:SCENE:

Its Buttah Baby...

2008-08-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

Hi ya fam...What it is...*Stares around the room like I haven't been lazy as hell the past few weeks*...Well its official, I'm back once again...This time for the long haul, I think...Well I start school in a few weeks...So we will see how this goes over...Anyhoo...I've pretty much done absolutely nothing for like 2 weeks straight...And now all of this must change *Sheds a single tear*...I've got to get back on the grind...I.E. blog stalking, partying, drinking...You know the usual...Anyways fam...Topic of the week(I promise to actually write it myself, not just rape wikipedia for info), I'm kinda stuck between "Labels", Music, and Fashion...I don't know, maybe I will speak on all three(Yeah right)...But as usual, ya know its the only time of the week I actually show that I am, believe it or not, a well educated ol broad...Well thats it fam...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Damn Ashanti...

2008-08-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

I don't even fuck with Ashanti like that but since Sierra basically threatened to murder me if I didn't give her new CD The Declaration a listen...I purchased and played the shyt...I ain't gonna even front, it's bangable but there is one song that I'm soooooooooo addicted to...Matter of fact I downloaded the ringtone, and set that shyt as F's ringtone...Gawd this song is the fucking truth...I can relate...

Alcoholism...

2008-08-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank the good people over at Wikipedia for this delightful article...And also for the aid in my recent laziness...Yes, Yes, fam, topic of the week is Alcoholism...Ya ready...

Alcoholism is a term with multiple and sometimes conflicting definitions. In common and historic usage, alcoholism refers to any condition that results in the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages despite the health problems and negative social consequences it causes. Medical definitions describe alcoholism as a disease which results in a persistent use of alcohol despite negative consequences. Alcoholism, also referred to as dipsomania[1] in the 19th and early 20th centuries, may also refer to a preoccupation with or compulsion toward the consumption of alcohol and/or an impaired ability to recognize the negative effects of excessive alcohol consumption. Although not all of these definitions specify current and on-going use of alcohol as a qualifier, some do, as well as remarking on the long-term effects of consistent, heavy alcohol use, including dependence and symptoms of withdrawal.

While the ingestion of alcohol is, by definition, necessary to develop alcoholism, the use of alcohol does not predict the development of alcoholism. The quantity, frequency and regularity of alcohol consumption required to develop alcoholism varies greatly from person to person. In addition, although the biological mechanisms underpinning alcoholism are uncertain, some risk factors, including social environment, emotional health and genetic predisposition, have been identified.

ETC...

Humph...The more you know...

Update: I should have stated this shyt before the post...But anyways, I am a certified card-carrying alcoholic...And damn proud of this "beer bellY" I'm getting...But since there is a possibility that there are minors that read this...I decided to post the down-side of partying like its 1969...Listen up youngins , if ya think the misses is fucking fabulous...Then keep believing that shyt for I shall nevah steer ya wrong...But please for the sake of your well being...Don't do the shyt that I do unless ya are protected and all that good shyt...I.E., practice safe sex, don't cuss out the popo's, don't fuck outside unless that shyt is secluded and etc...I'm an alcoholic, but I drank at least a gallon of water a day to counter-balance it...Feel me...Now go out and let loose...

Save A Horse...

2008-08-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

Ride A Cowboy...*Blank Stare*...That has got to be the dumbest shit I've ever heard, and I've heard some really dumb shit in my lifetime...Anyways Fam sorry about the anti-socialness, but this bytch has been on some real other shit lately since my return from the "Mother-Land"(Louisiana)...Lets see, I've been sleeping more than a pregnant chick...Matter of fact I took a pregnancy test to verify my status...Negative, Thank God...Drinking(hanging out with my drunk Mother for a week will do that to you, I've never drank so much in my life)non-stop...And more sleeping...But ya wants to know about my trip...Here goes, brace yourself...

Friday, the flight was amazing...Maybe thats cause I was fucking wasted and slept the entire time there...Was greeted at the airport by my ENTIRE family...I shit you not...From the Great-Grands on down to the third cousins...A bunch of black ghetto mofo's in Baton Rouge Metropolitan...

What a riot...I almost had to tell the Grands about herself for pushing up on the mans, but it was all in good fun...Made a quick stop at my favorite aunts home for a delightful meal of fried catfish, potato salad, green beans, and some other shit I can't remember...I was drunk dammit, keep up...Next stop, The Belle Of Baton Rouge...For those who are not familiar with this place...Its one of two casino boats in B.R...Lost $400 at the black-jack table within the first 20 minutes...So just imagine the dent I put in my pocketbook in two hours...But hey the drinks were free and free...Left the boat feeling loose, but oh so tired...Decided to crash in B.R. for the night(My parents moved to Alexandria, LA a while back)...

Saturday, took our fabulous asses home(This would be the first time that I would actually see the new home that my parents bought...The home that I spent most of my time in burned down last Thanksgiving, so I was really stoked about seeing it)Fucking amazing is all I can say...This is truly one family that has made a complete turn-around...I'm gonna stop right here, I feel myself getting all mushy gushy, but every chance that I get, I tell anyone with an ear our success story...The rest of the week was a little blurry, but just know that we had a BLAST...

Anyways fam here are the pics that I promised...

Me & My Aunt...Fabulous Bytches OWWWW!!!

More Sexiness...

My Baby Sis(In The Pink? Ribbon) And My Cousin...

Future A.K.A, And I Don't Know Whose Foot That Is...

Another One Of My Cousins...

On My Way Home...I Was Lit Hence The Drunken Photo Of Me Passed Out On The Couch, Taken By F...

Did Y'all Really Think I Was Gonna Leave Without Posting A Pic Of The Light(s) Of My Life...Papa Mis, And The Baby Sis...

The Rest Of The Pics Are A Little Controversial, Hence No Pic Of The Moms and the other Sisters...Just Know That That Chick(The Moms) Is What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up...Sexy Fabulous And Unstoppable...Well thats it fam, enjoy...Topic of the week, I have no idea...It will just be a surprise to us all...I'll Holla!!!

More To Come...

2008-08-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

Hey whats up fam...I know I promised to tell details about my trip...In due time I will, its just that I partied a little too much back home and this is all that I've been doing since I got back...

Kicked off the heels...

And took my black ass to sleep...

Well fam, sometime in the near future, I will be back on my game...Until then I'm gonna finish this coontini, and crawl my ass into bed once again...Oh and the couch that ya see me passed out on most of the time is in fact in our bedroom...Only a good 10 feet away from the bed, which should let you know how badly I'm usually intoxicated...Can't even walk my ass 10 feet to the bed...HOLLA FAM!!!

Fear Of Flying...

2008-07-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

There are only two well maybe three things that the misses fear...God(I Luvs Jesus, believe it or not)...My Mother(Okay, my thing is this is the only chick that can hit me and I can do absolutely nothing about it...Any other broad can get it with the quickness)...And flying(Scared to death, do you hear me)...

Two Plane tickets...Delta Airlines(First Class Of Course)...$2154.00

Two weeks supply of Tylenol, Likka, and No-Doze for S.M...Uno Grande'

Everything that is possibly needed for the survival of a very spoiled puppy with her aunt S.M...Along with the current issue of "puppy power"...$375.00

Travel wardrobe...You don't want to know...

Nose piercing(Well I don't have it yet, but I will on Thursday. This is the only piercing that I have left to do.) $46

Get the hair fried, dyed(I am really getting the hair dyed...Back to black baby...Red makes me look mean as fugg, and everyone knows that I am a super nice person *looks around*), and flipped to the side...$128(Its worth it dammit)

Mani & Pedi...$75

Arguing with F as to why I need to bring 14 pairs of shoes with me on vacation...Priceless, or at least me "having my way" and the make-up sex was...

Anyways fam, I am going on vacation...Yes, yes, yes, words cannot express how excited I am...That is until I think about the five hour flight to Louisiana that we have...Straight up bullshit...Y'all just don't know...I mean I'm good through security, boarding, seating, hell even take-off...What kills me is that turbulence B.S...I can just pretty much imagine the scenario...

*Beep**And by this time I'm gonna be tipsy as hell* "Good afternoon this is your captain speaking...We will be experiencing a little TURBULENCE...please remain seated and buckle your seatbelts"
*still calm*
*still calm*
*plane begins to shake*
*a little stirred, but no biggie*
*plane shaking so terribly my glass of Moet falls to the floor**In my loud ghetto tone* "Aww, you know what, this is straight up bullshit...Turbulence my ass, I mean you ain't got to lie to me...Is this mothafucka going down...Don't lie to me bytch..."
"No Ma'am its just turbulence"
*Crying hysterically* "I'm too young to die, I have a puppy to take care of...Who's gonna take care of her if this bytch goes down...I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die...Oh lawd why"
And ETC!!! So yes fam, this shall be an interesting Friday... You know what I'm sick of...My mothafucking neighbors and their constant need to fuck...I know I can't talk about anyone, seeing how you can catch me riding F's dick at least 4 hours out of the day...But y'all just don't know...I've been over there at least six times within the past week to tell them mothafuckas to keep it down...Anyhoo, I will be on vacation until I feel like coming back...I promise to bring back souvenirs...Pictures at the most...Well thats it fam...I miss ya already...

Flyleaf – All Around Me

Update: Yes, Yes the Bytch is back...I probably won't speak on my trip until tomorrow and thats not a promise...Anyways today is our baby's 3 month birthday so we are gonna take her to the park and have a little picnic/party for her...Peace out Fam...

Sorry About The Laziness....

2008-07-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

1. But, this chick is f'ing overwhelmed with B.S. right now...Anyways I decided to engage in this little "The more you know about the T" fiasco...Here it is, enjoy...

2. What book are you reading?
Currently, I'm trying to finish "My Best Friend & My Man by Cydney Rax"...Though niggaliterature, its not a bad read...

3. Favorite board game?
Monopoly all time rocking game...

4. Favorite magazine?
Oh well this is a tough one...I don't really read magazines...So imma have to say "Black Enterprise"..Gotta stay current on the "Real"

5. Favorite smells?
Gucci & Issi on my man...

6. Favorite sounds?
Silence...And pouring water...

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Failure & Doubt....

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
It's too damn early...

9. Favorite fast food place?
Hardee's

10. Future child’s name?
Wow...I've never thought about this but ummm, possibly Stacy, Meagan, or Stephanie for a girl...And a boy...Lets see...Courtney, or Dominique...Whatever, the last name shall be Wright...

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?
I already do...So I guess I will just go to the Casino...

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I sleep with my man...

13. Storms - cool or scary?
The Bestest...Making love in the rain...Though overrated, is the bidness....

14. Favorite drink?
Mojito...

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
Take a tour of Africa....

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Sometimes...

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Currently my hair is fiery red...The only color that I've ever dyed it...And will remain this way unless I find something more fitting....

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Too many to name...

19. Favorite sports to watch?
Football...Big men tackling each other and I'm on it...

21. What’s under your bed?
Piggy Bank & Condoms...(Don't Ask)

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Abso-fucking-lutely

23. Morning person, or night owl?
Not really a morning person...I do my best work at night...

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Over easy

25. Favorite place to relax?
My entertainment room...

26. Favorite pie
Pecan Pie...Is the bidness...

Number Two...First...

2008-07-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

"So baby do you have any plans for the night"...I held the phone tightly to my ear, as if this would help me out with the question that F just asked me...I really don't feel like going out tonight...But I also don't want to lie to him..."None what so ever, why? Did you want to do something tonight?"..."How does dinner and a movie sound"...a slight pause in my response, still debating a evening of bliss or just take my tired ass to sleep..."Sure baby, give me a couple hours"..."Absolutely, pick you up, say seven-ish"...I let out a deep sigh..."Awesome"

"This has got to be the nastiest shit I've ever tasted"...I say while I'm pushing my dish of Chicken Parmesan to the side..."Oh, would you like to order something different"...F asks with a look of genuine concern of his face..."Its okay, I'm really not that hungry"..."Are you sure"..."Yes"..."Well I'm not going to dine alone"...He states as he also pushes his meal aside..."How about we finish this bottle of wine, and catch that movie I promised"...I'm searching his face in hopes of receiving a sense of calmness...The last thing that I want to do is piss this man off all because I really didn't want his/anybodys company tonight...Takes a sip of wine..."Sure baby"...

"Did you at least enjoy the movie"...He asks as he begins to open my side of his truck door..."Yes, I did. You know I'm a sucker for a good action flick."..."Yes indeed"...He chuckles...closes the door...I begin to think the thoughts that always flood through my brain right around this time..."Are we ready"..."Will it be the same afterwards"..."No, I don't think were ready"..."Come on bitch, think of a good excuse"..."Its that time of the month"..."No that won't work, F knows EXACTLY when I'm due"..."Umm, got to be to work real early in the morning"..."Shit, Shit, Shit"...all of which is done within the five, six seconds it takes him to get into the truck...I put on a smile to mask my concern..."Believe it or not baby I really had a good time tonight"...He smiles a naughty grin..."It doesn't have to end just yet"...he replies...My eyes gets as big as half dollars...I place my right index finger on my lips and begin to think..."I mean its not that I don't WANT him"..."I've wanted that man since I first laid eyes on him"..."Then whats the problem"..."There can't be no question as to if he wants you too"..."Come on this man goes out of his way to please you"...I'm shaken from my thoughts when F states..."I guess I will be alone again tonight"...I ask "Whats that"...Not that I didn't hear him the first time...I just needed more time to think..."I said I guess I will be alone again tonight"...jokingly I respond..."Not if you play your cards right"...Silence, pure silence the last twenty-one minutes in the drive home...

"So Mr. Wright, what are your plans for the evening"...I ask him in the doorway..."Don't know, but I was hoping to spend it with the lady in my life. Thats only if she wants to do the same"..."Did you ask her"..."Not yet"..."Well what are you waiting for..."The right time"...I smile..."Well good luck with that babe, its been fun. Now if you don't mind I'm going in now. Call me once you make it home"...I turn around and walk in "accidentally" leaving the door open...

"You know you left your door open. Bad men can come in and do bad things to you if you keep this up"...I pretend to be startled and respond flirtatiously ..."Is that so, I'll have to be more careful . Don't want those bad men to get in do awful things to me"..."Well its a little too late, I'm already in"...he says while slowly undressing me...He has a look in his eyes that I'm so familiar with yet so confused..."Not necessarily, my panties are still intact..."I'm working on it"...He begins kissing my neck and slowly made his way to the place where he BELONGS...Kissing and licking...Kissing and licking...My eyes rolling to the back of my head, knees shaking...Me catching some of Luther's lyrics every now and then...screaming..."Baby, yes, gat damn this feels good, don't stop, baby please don't stop"...More and More...I'm fighting to breath...But with every circle he made around my clit...The fight became harder...Finally a pause...But little did I know it was only the beginning...After what seemed like hours of "making out" finally he gave me what I really wanted...Yes, indeed...On top of my queen sized bed the man made love to me six ways to Sunday...Missionary, from the back, the front, side, left and right...Orgasms on top of orgasms...Screaming and yelling...Moaning and groaning...Too much, too much, too much...I've never...As we lay in each others remnants of pleasure, I couldn't help but think to myself..."I could get used to this"...At least I thought it was to myself...He responded..."So can I, baby you got me. I ain't going no where"...I poke him in the side and laugh..."You better not, cause if you do I will find you and it won't be nice"...he laughs "Nope, ain't got to worry about me, this is just too good to give up."...More conversation...I can't tell you when we fell asleep...But I woke up feeling superior and with the same fire from the night before...Bet you can't guess how I spent my morning...:SCENE:

I don't know who made this video...But being the walking jukebox that I am...I must clarify that this isn't Tyrese...Its actually The Transitions...See ya learn somethin new everyday...

Number One...First...

2008-07-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

This is some bullshit...Were the first words out of my mouth when I realized that LIFE is no joke...I left my parents house at 18...Happy go lucky...Free spirited...Naive..."Hey this just might not be as bad as I thought"...See, told you I was naive...I only had fifty dollars to my name, and a pack of gum...But I was free...No more waking up at O'Dark Thirty to make coffee for the parents...No more cleaning my room...No more hiding my freakiness...No more, no more, no more...I remember that day like it was yesterday...Mother was standing in the door with a snarky grin on her face..."Just know that if you ever need us were here for you"...Is what she said, but when it comes to the moms...I'm pretty much a mind reader..."She's scared, but we raised her well. My baby will be alright"...Yeah, a mind reader...Driving, just driving...Hoping to come up with a plan that I should have had before I even stepped foot out of that house...Just driving on top of more driving...Soon the tears began to flow...Reality hit me like a bag of conscience bricks..."What am I doing. Where am I going to go. I have no place to stay. Barely enough money for food. Lord what have I done."...All the while I'm thinking back to the look on my mothers face...It was my only motivation...Still is...Yeah, all the motivation that I needed to face this cruel world...That, and all the teachings...The first couple of years were pretty tough...I struggled, but was used to it considering that the majority of my years were filled with tears, and prayers...The majority of which came from my parents...Like I said before, they did the best that they could for us, but when I say we had it rough, its only a cover up for my actual growing up...I made bad choices...Had to face up to it...Even worked three jobs at once...Just to satisfy the bad habits that I had/have...The constant need to "fit in", so buying of unnecessary shit became my addiction...You know the shit that a naive bitch needs to feel important...Hundred dollar shoes, clothes, jewelry, purses...I admit, the bills, the threats from the bill collectors, didn't phase me...I was/still is fucking fierce...So they could just toss the threats along with their asses out the window...I didn't care...I was finally living...

*Remembers the look on my Mothers face that long, long day ago*

What was it that actually made me get my shit together...My FUTURE...Not only am I conceited, but also very stubborn...No way in hell I was going to show back up to the parents house with bags in tow...No ma'am, no sir...I refuse...I couldn't stand the embarrassment, the "I told you so's" from nosy mothafuckas, the "She ain't never goin be shit" from the same nosy ones...No, No, No...So I began to make a life change...No more bad choices...No more hanging with the crowd who will only bring me down, instead of the betterment of my person...No more partying instead of paying bills...and etc...It wasn't easy going from sinner to saint(for lack of any better analogy I decided to use that one, bite me)...Lots of tears were shed...There were even days that I just wanted to give it all up...Motivation, Motivation, Motivation, that, alot of cursing, chain-smoking, and liquor...I made it through...Though not perfect...I must admit that this ol broad is doing pretty good for herself...Considering my life journey began with a 50 and a pack of gum...Who's Bad!!! :SCENE:

...First...

2008-07-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hello party peoples...Is it all grood(great & good) in yo hood...Me, yeah I'm doing bettah than eva...Considering I've been up since 4 in the morning crying out "Lawd will it ever stop" in the bathroom...Let me explain...Last night I got this weird craving for banana pudding...F being the darling that he is, went through hell and high water to satisfy the craving...I'm spoiled, I know it...Anyhoo, he made a crater sized bowl of the shyt...And me oh my ate it all up...Don't worry, I shared...Here's the kicker...I topped it off with my nightly coontini...I was in the mood for some Gin & Juice...Snoop style...Yep, I paid for my naughtiness this morning...Not to gross ya out or anythang, but I was feeling it...So fam...Topic of the week...Firsts...Take it how ya want it...But if ya knows anything about me...It shall be nothing but the best...Moving, soul-shakin, filling, just what the doctor ordered, satisfying, and SCENE!!!...

I Hear 'Em Call Da Wild, And Do It All The While...

2008-07-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

Doggy & Froggy Style...What!!! Fuck Me -Ludaris

Hi my good peoples...I would love to stay and chat with ya but I've got plans...If ya must know what exactly those plans are...Imma about to bake some cookies...For those of you who know me than ya know what the hells I'm talkin bout...For those who don't Luda shall enlighten ya...I'LL HOLLA!!!

05 Splash Waterfalls.wma - Ludacris

Update: Okay fam imma be real honest with y'all you see this post that I did sometime last night...I don't even remember typing that shyt...LMAO, well since its here I thought that I would use it as my blackboard...Basically tells ya what I have planned for the weekend...First I shall sleep...Matter of fact once I'm done with this, my azz is going back to sleep...Secondly I plan on going over to a friends place and do nothing but have a wonderful discussion on world peace...Sike, we shall talk about nothing but the nasty, while consuming mass quantities of likka...What shall happen on Saturday...I have no definite plans...And so forth and so on...So thats it fam...Have a fantabolous weekend...Y'all be safe now ya hear...I don't want to come back to e-mails and phone calls of someone needing me to bail them out or some shyt like that...I'LL HOLLA!!!

SEDUCTION....From Lame-O To Game-O

2008-07-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

*Turns down the Miles Davis...prepares the seriousness to elaborate on the topic of the week* "Okay Shawn, not even a subtle hint of hilarity on this one, SHE is depending on you"

Seduction...Where do I begin...I mean Webster has this definition of which we are meant to believe...I agree for the most part...But since I'm only handling the social aspect of it...I will save my views for the meeting on Friday...

1: the act of seducing; especially : the enticement of a person to sexual intercourse2: something that seduces : temptation3: something that attracts or charms

Seduction is more than enticing someone into sexual intercourse...True its sexy, erotic, sensual, stimulating...But so is any other thing that you can just about think of...From a personal note, I see it as a "stairway" to the ultimate satisfaction...

Seducing has always been a challenge for many men/women in our new generation...Crazy huh seeing as though it takes only a hello to seduce a man...At least thats how I see it...And I have proof...Anyways

Men/Women these days seem to have gone through a cultural change which has stripped their ability to attract and seduce the opposite sex...Seduction, broken down, to a point where it is methodical and predictable, is currently the crutch for the men/woman who otherwise would not have been to naturally embrace the art of seduction...

Why is this the case?...Why have men/women lost their natural ability to seduce the opposite sex?...I can't really really give a honest answer, but I can give a honest opinion...These days, the modern man/woman spends hours a day in a frozen, dumb state...Either in front of a computer, portraying his or her thoughts through a keyboard, watching TV,...People everywhere are being isolated from society...After working for 8 hours(ten in my case) at a computer which only responds to mouse clicks, the mental switch to have a delightful conversation with a beautiful woman or handsome man seems daunting...We must make this switch from ‘logical, isolated, non-creative’ to a more social, imaginative and friendly state...To properly engage in seduction...

In Seduction, there are many ways to make this switch...Though given the time that I have...Only one shall come from my person...

Through understanding the art of seduction, you can lead your mind to perform logical behaviors and gradually switch into a more social, imaginative state...Once you have fully understood the art of seduction, you can actually stay in a fully logical state...which is comfortable to you...and embrace a natural, enticing conversation with a beautiful woman or man...In a way, you are converting the previously very vague art of seduction to a more logical state which your daily mind can handle...Normally none of this would be necessary...But as I stated above society has wrecked havoc on our social skills...And seduction, in my opinion is slowly became a thing of the past...People nowadays are so "get to it already" we are no longer taking the necessary time needed to pursue anything/anyone...Its understandable, I mean from personal experience, my schedule is packed to the brim...

"And you want me to possibly take a pay cut to engage you in flirting which will nine times out of ten lead to us having sex...How about we just skip the whole flirting part...I've got somewhere to be in an hour"

See this is how I think, and am pretty sure that most of fellow my peers have the same mentality...We barely have time for ourselves...I don't know fam, like I said before these are just my observations...Back to the lesson at hand...I think that the economy is also playing a big role on the diminishing Art Of Seduction...We are too busy trying to make money, pay bills, take care of home...Trying to balance out these known factors with mingling if you will, is nonsense...We have better things to do with our time...I'm gonna stop right here fam, this is slowly turning into a novel on "How Bush Has Fucked America" than what it was intended to be...Breaking loose from the confinement of anti-seduction...To, going after something that if you play your cards right...Is almost a guarantee at the end of the night...I'LL HOLLA...

Update: So fam I have received three e-mails so far as to what the hell I am talking about...I should have stated this before the post...But anyways...Me and the gurls are not just party animals(believe that shyt if ya want to) we actually have some substance...Anyways we usually get together some time of the week to discuss books, life-stories, food, drinks, politics, men with big dicks...Just about anything that is thought provoking...Well this week we are discussing Seduction...Each of us will be discussing our chosen aspect of it...Mine being the effect that society has on the art-form...S.M. will be elaborating on forms of seduction...So forth and so on...Just thought that I would throw that out there...So no, don't send the van with the little white jacket...I don't like vans and though the thought of tight clothing is always appealing to me...I don't think I would look too hot in that jacket...Peace out peoples...

Phone Stalking/Seduction

2008-07-13T21:41:00.001-07:00

So whats up peoples...How the hells was yo weekend...Mine, well the usual...You know the type of weekend that when I wake up there is at least three things that usually come out of my mouth..."Who the fuck are you?"..."This is some bullshit"...or "You've got to be kidding me"...Not so much of the "Who the fuck are you" since I've hanged up the hooker badge for F...More so of the other two...Anyways peoples ya gurl was/is being phone stalked...By this guy whom I messed around with like three years ago...

"Whats up mami how are you"
"Good papi, ¿Y tú?"
"Pretty good"
"Now I must ask this and please forgive me if I should know but exactly who am I speaking with(I had no clue)"
"This is Pedro(his name isn't really Pedro, I'm just using this because he's Mexican, and we all know at least one Mexican named Pedro)"
"Not ringing a bell, but obviously you know me...May I ask how?"
"Don't you remember we had a thing a few years ago"
"Now I do...What can I do for you"
"I was thinking that we could you know talk, catch up"
"Why"
"I think that what we had wasn't meant to be just a one-time thing"
"Like hell it wasn't"
"Why"
"Baby I really don't know how you got my number, to be honest with you I don't give a damn...But we boned, thats it...Not nothing shall come from it...Besides it was like three years ago...Trust me I wasn't thinking about your ass...Lets see, I've gotten divorced...Went on a fuck-spree, and met my future ex-hubby(Just kidding babe if you read this)...So as you can see what we had was just that, a ride & goodbye..."
"You don't mean that"
"Like hell I don't...Besides it could never work between us...I'm trying to get a Black Card...You don't even have a green card...I don't mean to demean you or anything...Its just that I am a very, very, picky woman, not only when its comes to myself...But also any man that I spend time with..."
"Oh I see, but I still think that if you give me a chance"
"(I cut that mofo off mid-sentence)THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK!!! Do us both a favor and lose my gat damn number"
*Click*

So yes fam this was the first convo of four...I've always knew that I had that stalker-type puzzay, but I didn't think that the effects would still be there three years later...I'm making progress though...Seduction, Seduction, yeah I'm gonna discuss this a little later this week...Be looking for it fam...Well thats it World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Update: F sent me this video a few minutes ago...I agree Mr. Ja Rule, baby its ya body...Cause if we went by that face of yours, I wouldn't touch you with a broom-stick...And F darling......................boy stop it...

Drunk Posting...

2008-07-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

Is this even legal...anyways fam I am like tore what they call the fuck up right now...I'm headed to party number 3...If I don't make it back, the fam gets all of everything that I own...That is all...

Weekend Debauchery Part Dos...

2008-07-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

Listen up carefully Fam..Just go along with the videos and you will indeed know exactly what it is that the Misses will be doing this weekend...I decided to try something a little different this week, for the music shall tell the tale of my life...Let us begin...

Friday: I shall be doing a little of this:
Well thats only cause F has been bumping this song all day...Damn I can take a clue...It will be followed by this:
Fuck staying in the house all weekend long...I've got thangs ta do...Moving right along...Ive really been in the mood for some of this lately:
Yeah some of that good shyt...
Crawl my azz into bed once again only to be awakened by some of this:
Midnight X-stasy, boy you can't go wrong...Well all good thangs must come to an end, and its time to ask for forgiveness:

Have a wonderful weekend fam...Be safe, postitive, and be lovin...Well thats it world I'LL HOLLA!!!

I Got What Cha Want...

2008-07-07T23:32:00.000-07:00

Got What Ya Need. -Nicole Ray *Y'all memba this chick*

Hola!! Saludo Fam, how the hells are ya, madam T is feeling pretty damn good right about now...Considering the fact that I was handing out free ass-whooping coupons earlier today...I'm soooo full of joy at this present moment, maybe its cause I gots me some of that daddy long-stroke...Who knows...Anywayz, I promised to speak on the insane weekend(More like insane Friday) I had so here goes, ya ready...

After the fact that I was canoodled into fucking up my equilibrium by going FISHING..."Come on now, I would have rather set my cooch on fire than to do some UN-GODLY shit as such"...I was good...Got together with one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, Sierra(The black blow-up doll) and some acquaintances...Celebrated the 4th in the no bytchassedness basher style that we are so familiar with...F got so drunk...My baby was LEANING son...This is the man who has a few beers and calls it a night...But on Friday his ass was tore up...Ya best believe I took at least a hundred photos of him in his drunkness...Karma is a bitch...Partied hearty...We had some of them missile style fireworks that shoots off about 300 rounds...Can you imagine a bunch of black (F is an exception) drunk folk shooting rockets and shit...What a sight...Took our asses home around dawn...We must have been pretty inebriated...Woke up and ALL of the appliances were on, i.e. the T.V.s, DVD players, the dack-swang charger...I'm questioning Boston like "Don't lie to me, did you turn all of this on?"

Saturday was the day of recuperation...Did much of nothing but nurse each others hangovers and soreness of the naughty areas...I've only had one drunken fuck fest with F before...The man turns into the Incredible Hulk...Not something that I wants on a regular...The cooch has stretch marks afterwards...Doing hours of Kegel exercises to get back to normal is no fun...And that is NOT HOT...The highlight of the day was the convo I had with S.M...If I'm not mistaken it went a little something like this...

Moi-"Hi Bay"
S.M.-"I needs some dick"
Moi-"Well get straight to the point why don't you, don't ask me how I'm doing"
S.M.-"I really need some dick"
Moi-"Well Safeway is having that Great Meat Sale once again, and at least you get a money back guarantee if you're not completely satisfied"
S.M.-"My horniness is a joke to you"
Moi-"Yes maam, I really don't feel sorry for you. What, don't you have about 19 fuck buddies and yet you still need some dick. I just don't understand"
S.M.-"Let me rephrase, I need dick with stability"
Moi-*Chokes on the refreshing Mojito I was inhaling* (Sierra is anti-relationship and to hear she is willing to be in one made me ask for forgiveness for the end is near)"The hell?!?!?! Are you drunk?"
S.M.-"Maybe, but you have no proof. Seriously though, I want a man."
Moi-"Well with your track-record you should have no problem finding one"
S.M.-"I hate you"
Moi-"No you don't, I'm just saying there is no way possible you will be happy with one man, at least at the current moment. Once you start to get your grown woman on then its a possibility."
S.M.-"So are you saying that I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship"
Moi- "Not mature as in childish, more on the lines of the man would have to be Zeus or some shit like that to make you not stray from the path of righteousness."
S.M.- "I guess you're right, would you happen to have Zeus's number, I'm still in need of some dick, stability or not"
Moi-"On that note I'm hanging up, right now. Bye, you crazy woman."

I don't even know why I entertains this hooker...She has no sense...Anyways, Sunday nothing dramatic occurred...I did get pretty twisted though...And payed for that shit today...Well thats it Fam, the sexiness that goes by the name of T is about to lay it down...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!

Update: Sorry Fam, no time for a real post so I will just do a bunch of updating...Anyways we really need to go grocery shopping...

Do y'all see what F has me surviving on,Bucket O Mojito, and Condiments...I love this man...

I just want to say thanks to the man/woman who came up with the idea of Bucket Mojito...Thank you so much, hell its less work for me...Just pour and go...

"Y'all ain't nevah got matching shyt, kool-aid no sugar, peanut butter no jelly."

Just One Of Dem Dayz...

2008-07-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

That a girl goes through. -Monica

So...I promise to post the details of my weekend sometime in the near future...I know y'all was like when is she goin tell us SOMETHING...Sometime in the near future...Right now I'm just not in the mood...Pissed off to say the least...But I should be fine once I wake up from this nap I plan on taking...Anyways, right now I am pissed off beyond pissed...And the bad thing about me is that once it starts it doesn't stop...What caused the wrath was the fact that I forgot that both of my AGM's were going on vacation this week...Which means that I would have to open the restaurant...Which also meant that I would have to wake up at 4 in the morning to do so...I completely forgot about it until Sunday before bed, and by that time I was belligerently drunk...And was like "Oh shit I have to be to work in 2 hours"...No way I could call them up and say, "ya know what, I change my mind about the whole vacation thing" just because I forgot and was very irresponsible...So I didn't even go to bed that night...Just stayed up soaking in my anger...It was nobody's fault but my own...So thats what started it...Get to work and realize that I haven't opened the place in so long I didn't even remember the alarm combo...After minutes of verification, that was taken care of...Blah, Blah, Blah, more shit on top of shit...I was about ready to slap the shit out of someone...Mind you no one did a damn thing to me...Its just once I actually get mad...It takes absolutely nothing after this to make matters worst...I'm serious, someone could look at me and their ass is getting cussed out...Matter of fact, once I left the job, I went to Safeway to purchase a bottle of wine for dinner...This little old lady said only the mere word of hi to me and was told off in the "Southern Comfort" manner that is hid underneath the "niceness"...Anyways she said hi...My response, "Why the fuck are you hi'ing me, like seriously...Does it look like I really want to be chatting with your ass right now...Riddle me this, do I really look like the friendly person you have so mistaken me for...Don't let the dimples fool you...I'm a tooth-chipper all day."...I'm actually starting to feel sorry about myself and this day...Which means that I'm returning to normal...So until then fam, just know that once I get some well needed rest(I'm so tired my knees hurt) I will be back to my old self...

Off To See The Wizard...

2008-07-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Wizard Of Oz...I need some courage...

Happy 4th fam, enjoy yoselves...Its a mothafucking celebration... I'm off to hell(the lake)...But trust this song will be banging our entire drive there... I'LL HOLLA

*Whispering in my mans ear*
See I look to good for this necklace
And I look to good to be wearing this
You know I look way too good to be innocent
I'm conceited I got a reason

See I look to good to be driving that
And I look to good to be buying that
You know I look way to good to be trying that
I'm conceited I got a reason

UPDATE: I survived the wilderness...we are about to go blow some shyt up...I just had to post this pic of me outside baitshop...

See I was in the spirit...But F talked me out of the original stripper outfit I had every intention of wearing...I'm off to party til my lungs give out...Maybe even do a little fuggin...Who knows...

A Slacker, But Damn Good At It...

2008-07-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Okay fam please excuse the possible typos in this post...I'm drunk as hell right now, but this you already knew...

This is the song I was listening to before I started this post(Click on the play button dammit)
Hey Now - Carl Thomas

So where do I begin...How about this morning...Well this afternoon...Is when I woke my ass up out of the drunken slumber that I was in...1:38 this afternoon to be exact... I was looking at the clock like "Is this a joke, it can't possibly be this damn late"...Usually I'm at work by this time...But ummm, no...There was a little mishap or something this morning... I checked my phone and there was like 50 missed calls/text messages...Get to work a couple hours later...Lied and said I had a appointment...Bounced that bytch a 1/2 hour later...I had another "appointment" to go to...I really didn't feel like working today...Went home and passed out once again...

What time I was pounced upon by Boston and F, I don't know...But it was dark, and raining outside...You know I didn't even notice that she wasn't home this afternoon...A bad mother I know...F took her out for the day...Apparently they had a good time... She looked and smelled like a brand new puppy...Oh and also, the plans I had for the 4th which included me sleeping from Friday until Monday morning have now been changed...So says F...

"You know babe, I was thinking we should REALLY do something at least on Friday"
"Yeah, did you have anything in mind"
"I was thinking we should go fishing"
"Wait a minute...WHAT?!?!?!"
"You know FISHING, it'll be great, and Boston would love it"
"Have you lost your damn mind??? I don't even feed the fish that we have and you want me to go sit at some hot ass pond and feed/try to catch more"
"Pretty much, its very relaxing. You're gonna love it. I promise to make it worth your time"
"Oh no sir, not even dick can convince me to do some lame shit like that."
"Come on honey"
"Nope, and isn't the lake closed on Friday. Shit everythang else is. If I were the fish I'd be like damn ya'll I'm off today"
"It isn't closed. We can go for a couple hours, leave, go home fire up the grill and light up the fireworks I bought for you. You're always talking about blowing some shyt up, heres your chance"
"Sold to the sexy ass whyte boy in the tight man bobbie highlighting Polo"

So yes fam, I'm going fishing on Friday...I am not looking forward to it...The hell I look like...I WILL be out there with the boojieness expanded to the tenth power...Fuck a damn fish...I'm too sexy for that shyt...But I love his ass, and he promised to let me blow something up...So y'all pray for me in my attempt to defy the laws of nature by fishing in heels and a halter top...Fuck this shyt...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Past Paradise...

2008-07-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

Shackled to the bed of Past Paradise -Eric Roberson

Well not in the way the song suggests...But I MISS MY DAMN BED...Seeing as though our daughter/puppy decides to piss in it... I guess the carpet in the living room wasn't good enough, or the Kobe (I call it Kobe cause it reminds me of Kobe Beef) Marble floors in the kitchen, maybe even the same floors in the bathroom wasn't good enough...She just had to do her business atop of our American Drew bed, laced with a caramel colored comforter, mocha colored silk sheets, with a pillow-top mattress.... Uggghhhh...I am so fucking pissed right now...Fuck that, I don't even sleep in my own Cum juices, let alone piss...Sleeping in the second bedroom just isn't the same...So now we have to wait until we have free time to go buy a new set-up...I'm headed off to the entertainment room now...I need a damn drank... HOLLA!!!

I'm A Movement By Myself...

2008-06-30T05:25:00.000-07:00

But I'm a force when were together. -Fabolous

Guten Morgen(Good Morning in German) fam...How the hell are you...Me, well I'm sleepless in Laramie...Why, more on this later...How was your weekend, mine, awesome until this morning...

Friday June 27, 2008: Started out as usual, but I was floating on cloud nine, for this would be the day in which we celebrate our love(Not that we don't any other day)... Went to work as usual, left early to change into the after-hour attire.... Make it home only to be greeted by the mans in a onesee *addressing the puzzled looks (a onesee is this two in one pajama set that is usually worn by toddlers)* and one of those Dave Crockett raccoon hats...I shit you not... "Baby please stop playing, let me inside, I've got to get ready"..."Nope"...By this time I realized what was going on..."Okay just give me my clothes and I will go over to Sierra's place to get ready"...He hands me this big ass box, nothing looked familiar, but no complaints from me..."I will pick you up in two hours"...Is what he said as I left the place...*mumbling* "looking like a gigantic toddler"..."What TF I thought I wouldn't see you until sometime next month"..."Hahaha, nah just three days, I need to borrow your restroom for a bit. I'm not allowed into my house for the present moment." "What!!!" "No, its nothing like what you're thinking, I guess F has something planned out and doesn't want me to see right now."..........After a few drinks and almost a couple hours later, I hear that knock on the door, let the excitement begin...

We drove to Cheyenne, touched down at Red Lobster... I gave him the are you serious look(Not that I'm too boojie for Red Lobster, but he knows that I hate that fucking place, the bitches gave me food poisoning and I refuse to eat there again)... He proceeded to get out of the car but paused and burst out into laughter..."Had you shook there for a minute huh babe"..."You really think that me almost dying is funny"..."Yep"..."Asshole" It was all in good fun...

Left Cheyenne, touched down at our place once again...I've got this what the fuck is going on look... "Baby I've got a confession, I really didn't have anything planned for this weekend. I thought that if we drove around for a bit than something would come to me."... "Why didn't you say that shit in the first place, I could have been out doing something other than riding around in a mothafucking car all damn night."..."I'm sorry"... By this time I'm storming to the front door... "Baby hold up, are you mad?"...In a very sarcastic tone..."No not at all honey, lets just get inside so I can lay down. I'm very tired"... Opens the door to what I'm my mind looked nothing like the place in which we called home...This humongous smile comes across my face... "Sorry babe, the chef needed a couple more hours to prepare, so the only genius idea that I could come up with at the time was to drive around."..."Is that so."

I bet you're thinking I had some ostrich feet or some shit like that to eat...Nope, a cheeseburger...I deal with that shit for a living, and sometimes a girl just wants some normalcy...Finished up our dinner, said our thank-yous and goodbyes to Mr. Douglas Benson(the chef)...Took the party to the bedroom... There was a single black sheet on the bed, and atop was red rose petals... The red on black contrast was beautiful... "Why don't we relax a bit"...By this time I've had a couple bottles of wine, so I was already relaxed... "Whatever you say babe"... I look over into the tub and the water was BLACK with the red rose petals... "Fuck you whyte boy, I ain't getting into that shyt, fucking water is blacker than me."..."*laughing* Don't worry its just bath salts"..."Yeah okay but if my azz comes out a half a shade darker than sexy chocolate, were gonna fight. I ain't bullshitting biggums"... Laughed and talked for what seemed like hours... I fell asleep in LOVES arms that night...

Saturday June 28, 2008: Woke up with a damn headache, cooked breakfast for, and ate with F. Went back to bed, stayed in bed until like 4 p.m., we finally got up off our asses... F gets this bright idea to go pet shopping, and that we did... It was love at first sight...She(we named her Boston, she's a pit-bull/terrier mix) was so beautiful...Got her home, and whats the first thing this BITCH does, shits on our mothafucking carpet...But I am a forgiving person...A couple hours rolls by, we decide to go to bed...Gots to go say our Amens the next day...Boston has a completely different idea in mind...Crying & Whining all night must be whats hot this summer...

Didn't go to church Sunday...Lets just say I didn't have the strength...Currently I'm nursing these bags under my eyes... Boston is passed out in the living room... Along with F... I just want to go to sleep...But I can't seeing how today is Monday, and you know what that means, WORK... I've already said my little keep me near the cross prayer, cause I can just feel myself slipping into that ruthless bitch mood... And we all know what that means, the employees will suffer... Well thats its world... I'LL HOLLA!!!

What It Is Yo...A Whats Up...

2008-06-27T02:46:00.000-07:00

What up fam, its ya gurl T-to-the-mothafuckin-Bone coming at ya live from bytch headquarters...HAHAHA, nah, I'm just sitting here at the computer finishing off a glass of Vodka & Cranberry that I was too tired to do before... Its Friday and y'all know what that means, time to do sumthin strange for a lil piece of change(of course if you're into that)... I'm not really gonna get into a whole lot of mischief this weekend(shocking I know) just gonna put on the lil black dress that highlights the ass, shake said ass & make some love... Thats right, nothing too dramatic this weekend... Just me and my baby celebrating the day in which we became official, I wish I could tell y'all exactly what we are gonna do, but alls I know is what I mentioned before...The Mans has everything planned out...I promise to let ya know what occurred sometime next week...Well thats it World, but before I leave I just want to give a special shout out to Jhazzai, Diva, & Jaila for all their well wishes... I'LL HOLLA!!!
Oh and for those who gotta get someone home tonight...Get yo freak on...Just don't hurt em :side eyein Jhazzai:

Georgy Porgy...Puddin Pie...

2008-06-25T09:08:00.000-07:00

Kissed the girls and made them cry...-Toto(sprinkled with a little bit of Cheryl Lynn)

Break out the champagne glassed(literally)...I'm BAAACCCKKK!!!!...My back, well its stress related...A bunch of bull if you ask me, but I guess thats why they are paid the big bucks...I've decided to try something a little different today...So bear with me please...Today I'm NOT going to discuss SEX...Everyone knows that I am a freak, blah blah blah...I'm taking a day off...I'm NOT discussing MONEY...I'm paid, end of story...I'm NOT discussing DRUGS(don't ever recall speaking on it)...I may joke about it, but not even Aspirin touches this tongue...I'm NOT discussing Rock-N-Roll...

Lets talk about LOVE, REAL LOVE, the kind of LOVE that is shared between two MORTAL souls entangled in the abyss of it...The kind of LOVE that ranks high...Personally my list is as follows: GOD, Family, F. Wright...Being third is not always a bad thing...The kind of LOVE that erases all your mistakes...Gives you a fresh start, a sense of newness...Though considered cynical, pessimistic, self-centered, heartless, agitated,...LOVE still LOVED...Though other ties were held...LOVE was/is patient...Though not perfect(close to it)...LOVE is...

The kind of LOVE that replaces the once well planned out future...The house by the age of 25(a condo at 21, *smiles*), a fast-paced career, no kids until 25, no debt...The revised list: F. Wright(all I need to get by babe)...The kind of LOVE that TRUST, FAITH, or SECURITY is no issue to...The kind of LOVE that gives a heart the motivation it needs to beat...The feeling of loneliness, even though LOVE is only in the other room...The feeling of exhilaration in LOVES arms...The feeling of warmth when LOVE whispers a simple good morning in the ear...

The kind of LOVE that has the medulla oblongata in an uproar... The kind of LOVE that will in no doubt provoke strange occurrences... The kind of LOVE to stimulate outbursts of laughter at FEAR... The kind of LOVE to sacrifice all for... The kind of LOVE that I will gladly sell my entire Marvin Gaye collection for(Now that's some strong love, I think I made a mistake above. The list should go as follows: GOD, Family, Marvin Gaye, F. Wright :-), just kidding)...You still here?...Just threw Marvin in there to make sure...Lets get back to it... The kind of LOVE that makes you weak...Surely SWV didn't do it justice...The kind of LOVE that is ONLY YOU...

Well here it is baby...I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed typing it... Happy Anniversary, did I ever think that we would be here, fa sho daddy... The ups, the very few downs, the pain, the pleasure, the midnight donut runs, the losing on purpose in Monopoly, the respect of my OCD, the big ass bucket of Dubble Bubble, the sharing of your PJ's cause the thousands of sets that I have just aren't good enough, is just a few reasons WHY I LOVE you...Your smile, smell, touch, lips, tongue,(okay I'm gonna stop at tongue, I feel myself drifting slowly towards something sexual) is just a little logic as to WHAT it is that I LOVE about you...Everyday, Nonstop, is WHEN I LOVE you...I'm not going to say forever cause its just not long enough, but UNTIL, UNTIL, UNTIL is HOW I LOVE YOU... P.S., Fam I know you were reading this like WTF is she talking about, well today my baby and I are celebrating our anniversary(I am not gonna say how long, I need at least some secrecy) and I decided to type a little of my feelings on/about him... Don't worry regularly scheduled fuckery resumes tomorrow...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

This Is Some Bullshit

2008-06-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

So Fam, how are ya? Oh me, I'm in excruciating pain...My back has been troubling me for like three days now, but it really didn't bother me until today when I bent down to pick something up at work and intensified whatever the hell the problem is...I thought someone shot my ass...Thats how serious it is...Don't worry, I'm going to the DOC first thing in the morning...Theres only so much alcohol and back rubs can do... I quickly sober up, the mans falls asleep, and I'm left with this horrible back pain...I don't know fam, maybe I pulled a muscle or something(which is what I'm hoping) or pinched a nerve...Time shall tell...Well goodnight world...I'm in too much pain to be the usual T tonight...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Trouble In Paradise...

2008-06-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

So I know that you want to know how the fabulousness that is T's weekend went...Don't worry I won't make you wait any longer...Friday night was the Pleasure Party...The host(not SM, we just used her place) was kinda lame, so I grew bored with it quickly...Bounced the spot, took my black ass home and passed out...Saturday morning, we filled up the tanks and hit the road...Maybe like an hour & half later we made it to our destination, Denver... Had a quick breakfast...Let the shopping begin, matter of fact I was hit on(at least I think so, SM was like "She's just complimenting your jeans", yeah right...Of course I think that everyone is hitting on me, and the chick was looking quite nice, yep she could get it) in a boutique... We grew a little hungry from the shopping and by now it was around six, so it was time for dinner...Lets see, we dined at Restaurant Kevin Taylor...Nothing exciting happened, just a bunch of drunks sitting around talking about SEX, MONEY, and MEN, you know the usual...Finished up, put on our naughty girl smiles, along with the freak-um dresses and touched down at ENVYNUDE...OMG, I love this place, free drinks and so much more...Got relaxed and then the texting began...I sent the mans a text stating my status, a few minutes later I received one, so I'm like cool its just him...I was wrong...One of my exes(I say one because I was texting two of them last night) sends me this text asking me if I miss him...So I replied back with the "Nah, but I do miss those juicy pussy lips of yours", this little war went on for like 20 minutes...Moving right along shall we...Apparently, this motivated me to send a friendly "whats up to the second ex" which quickly turned into text sex...Which is shocking because I thought the man hated my ass, that or he was horny...I woke up this morning, checked the Curve to see if there was any missed calls/text and immediately the words OMG came out of my mouth...The Mans walks in, he was already up getting ready, and I told him what happened...And pissed he became, but not really pissed at the word texts(cause he knows that I'm not going anywhere), more so the picture...Yes, I sent a pic of the lady miss to the second ex and vice versa...In my defense I stated "Its not like he hasn't seen it before", bad idea...So now I'm in the dog house...Its actually not that bad in here, I've gotten some hugs and kisses, even a foot massage...But I can tell by his eyes that he's still a little salty about the situation...So imma just do what I do best, wrap my lips around that 8 inch dick of his and make it disappear...Magic I tell you...Well thats it world...I'LL HOLLA

R U STILL DOWN...

2008-06-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

Jon B. ft. Tupac - Are You Still Down

Yes, Yes, Yes...Two of my first loves in the same video...I would cause flames on Jon's dick from riding that azz... And Pac, I miss you...

Well world ya gurl is going to be very naughty this weekend...Not that I'm not at any given moment...Things will be different this weekend...I'm calling it naughty girl weekend, and no I'm not doing the man all weekend, though he will feel the side effects of my adventures...So tonight a VERY good friend of mine, I'm not gonna say who, but I will say that she Loves golf, is having a pleasure party...Don't give me that look, ya'll know what a pleasure party is...Let the fun begin, its about time, I need a new pair of handcuffs... Tomorrow will be filled with my second past-time(the first being...well you already know) SHOPPING...I'm getting moist at the thought...Have dinner of course, at this exclusive spot...I'm feeling a little boojie...Buy a couple bottles of ACE, and hit up our favorite strip joint...Anyplace that has Hunky men, with dicks to match is my second home...And of course Church on Sunday...Have a Fantabulous Weekend Fam...I Know I Will...

Ooh Wee...

2008-06-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

So I almost told Mr. Right Fuck You today...I saw the most chocolaty, buns of steel, sexy Derek Luke lips having man today at the gym...Talk about FIONE!!!...Yep, I was goin call that azz up and say "Looky here man that I want to have babies for, youse got that loving that gets some act right, but umm this man right here son...I loves yo ass and all, but this isn't gonna work out." I Loves Chocolaty Men...So much so that I'm often pleasuring myself to thoughts of Tyrese letting me call him daddy...Crazy right, considering the fact that the mans is far from chocolate...But for him an exception was made(I saw that dack of his and said JACKPOT)...I won't lie, I've fucked outside of race, but when it came to actually hanging up the hooker badge for a while...Straight up black...Why? I don't know, but all that has changed...

Did I ever tell ya'll how/where I met the mans, no...Well lets get to it damnit... I bet you're thinking I meet him at work, or a bar, church even, Nope... I was car shopping, looking for something sexy, like the new Jag, but ended up with a gas station rapist...I know absolutely nothing about cars, so I went up to this guy which I thought was a Salesman(mofo was dressed like one) to ask about the truck in question...He smiled and began telling me all the technical details...I wasn't really listening, too busy staring this mofo down looking like he wanted me to rape that azz right then and there...I'll do it, don't try me...Seriously though, aside from Jon. B, he was one of the sexiest WB's I've ever seen...Blah Blah Blah, more of the technical nonsense...Enough was enough... I just told him to tell me the damn price so I could get the fuck out of there...In those exact same words...Just change the there to here...He laughed and confessed that he wasn't actually a salesman...But to make up for the fact that he just wasted my time, offered to take me lunch... We had lunch, to bad I wasn't able to sit on the platter so he can dine on me, but good things come to those who wait...

Thats how I met my big ol teddy bear...And thats another thing about me, I LOVES BIG MEN...I'm not talking big as in having a beer belly that resembles pregnancy... I mean BIG, throw me against the wall, on the bed, on top of the refrigerator and take that shyt, man boobie having mofos...Skinny men just don't do it for me, I just don't get that thigh workout(sexin missionary style) that I'm so used to with a skinny man...How do you think I'm so flexible, YOGA? Well thats it for the night world...I just ordered some Hunan Pork, so I think its best if I go pick that shyt up...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Cotton Candy Sweet As Gold...

2008-06-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

Let me see that tootsie roll...that tootsie roll...that tootsie...LMMAO, OMG my sister sent me a text this morning of this fat guy dancing to that damn song...Can you imagine waking up to that, hilarious...

Listen up fam, you know I've got to do at least one Serious post a week, so here it is... This is called "Insatiable" by my fave Poet...Only those who actually ready my shit will know who SHE is... Oh and its dedicated to me...*blushes* Keep in mind that I have no idea how to type this out...So I'm going to do what I normally do...

Candid Kisses to the small of my back...We Lie...Wonder if this affair is really on track...Both seemingly happy at home...But the pleasures needed and desired makes US cum so wrong...You're everything I want...Not need...HE, is the source of my Love and Stability...Wanna be sure you feel the same about HER...The harder the thrusts, the more you profess your love...For I, but baby I've got a guy...I've got a problem...I've made amends with that...What's your excuse..."SHE don't make you feel intact"...Knowing that HE will watch THIS in disgust...The thoughts become nastier and...The More...Time Flies...I rewind life to the innocence...Ponder...What has become of this God Fearing southern girl...who...lost her purity out of force...Ask myself...The lies, the betrayal, the greed...The undying obsession to have HIM in-b-tween...Sho it ain't right...Could never bring myself to cancel the flight...

Now I don't know if I should feel honored or call that broad and cuss her azz out...Calling me out and shyt... I was freak-freak back in the day, now its McFreaky Freak, get that shyt right...Oh and I've got some poetry shit too, listen up

"Tell Me How Long Is It Boo...Seven Inches, Yep That'll Do!" Missy cracks my azz up...Well thats it world...Imma leave ya with a little "Gin & Juice"...I'LL HOLLA!!!

I'm Stylin On You Bitches...

2008-06-18T17:53:00.000-07:00

Even in PJ's and Pink Slippers...So I was looking for a new photo for my header, and the hundreds of photos that I was looking through just wasn't cutting it...I mean the pics that I was viewing is of the T that everyone is used to seeing on a daily basis...Now what about if I post some pics that only a select few see from time to time...Get ready, cause here I come...

Hahahaha...I am a true Alcoholic!!!

This was when I first got this remote, so I was trying to figure out how to work it...

Still Trying...

I just gave up on the sonofabitch...Ya'll peepin the pink slippers, them hoes are Fiyah!

Before I had the decency to cover up that jungle I call hair...

But I think Imma have to go with this one, the name of my blog IS, IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT... I think it'll fit the decor...Would you look them legs...Now whats cooler than me sittin on the floor in front of my bar eating cereal...Nothing I tell you...

Sorry Fam...Changed The Pic...My Mommy Didn't Like The First One :(

What Chu Like

2008-06-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

So I was at work watching videos on YouTube and made the mistake of clicking on this video to watch, cause I would sell my ovaries to get a whiff of Tyrese's dick...

"And I Must Say Deary, The Panties Were Drenched"...Told the employees there was an emergency(I don't know if throbbing in the area that holds my sweet black nectar is a emergency to them, but hell it is to me.)and that I had to leave...Called the Mans, on my way home and explained my situation in vivid details...Told me to give him about an hour, and he'd be home...Current Time, lets see 11:30 on tha mothafucking dot...I've become extremely impatient, I got about 15 more mins to wait...So fam while you're reading this and watching the video, just know that I am in a better place...A place filled with joy and undeniable pleasure...A place where I can be free from the treachery that is horniness and so on and so on...

Seconds Of Pleasure...

2008-06-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

Life's Little Treasures. -Van Hunt

Okay peoples, here's a little bit more about the Author of this multifaceted Blog...I have 4 sisters...No brothers...Just four very successful sisters...Lets start from the top...

E.H.,29...Profession: Wife, Mother of Two, and Lawyer by day...By night: same as with the day
M.H.,26...Profession: LPN by day...My favorite Poet by night
Moi.,21...Profession: The Boss Bitch by day...Famous Dick Rider by night... A la McFreaky Freak
C.H.,18...Profession: Ganja Smoker by day(this chick smokes more weed in a day than I have in my entire life)...By night: same as with the day(but she has a job doing something, at least I think so, all of her bills are paid on time, so thats got to count for something.)
Q.H.,11...Profession: Con-Artist, Heart Warmer, Smile Provoker, by day...By night: same as with the day...

Now I bet you're wondering what TF all of this info has to do with Seconds Of Pleasure right...It's fairly simple...Everytime I think about at least one of these broads, I'm reminded of our past, and each of our decisions that molded our present...But this is really not what I wanted to blog about today...Part of it...But not the basis...Let's discuss whats really going on shall we...

So, my baby sis called me at 6:38 this morning and this is how I remember the conversation going...
Moi- Yes Mother(Thinking it was her ass when I looked at the phone)
L.S.- Hi Sissy, are you asleep
Moi- Hey baby, I was, but now I'm talking to you. What's up with ya
L.S.- Nothing much, I was just sitting here wondering how much better my life would be if I had a bigger TV, preferably a Plasma, that way I can hang it on the wall, and watching the discovery channel in High-Def will be a plus also.
Moi- *LMAO* So you want a bigger TV babe, preferably a Plasma.
L.S.- Thats right
Moi- So did you ask the parents permission(She had me sold at watching the discovery channel in High-Def)
L.S.- Mommy told me to ask my big sissy's to buy one for me, and since you're my favorite, I just thought to ask you. Now if you say no, I've got 3 others to plead my cause to, so don't make me waste my time.
Moi-(By this time I am doubling over in laughter) Yes baby, I will buy you a new TV...What size Hon?
L.S.- 36 inches will be enough
Moi- You got it, now I'm gonna go get some tissue, I'm over here crying laughing at your little ass. Tell the parents I said whats up, and after work today, me and F are gonna go shopping for that new TV okay. Love ya, talk to you soon.

See, I told ya'll she was a con-artist...And knows that she has all of her big sisters wrapped around her little fingers...I remember like yesterday when Mom came from the hospital getting treated for what we thought was a stomach virus, but no...Her exact words were "I'm two weeks pregnant"...Now we are all sitting there with this dumbfounded look on our faces, except C.H. she was only six at the time...Nobody wanted to say what we were all thinking, "how is this possible, didn't you get your tubes tied after C.H."...But finally out of the awkward silence, "Sucks to be you" E.H. stated...Everyone just burst out into laughter, and began showing Mom the genuine love and affection that she so was used to. Now eleven years later that baby whom we all used to teach bad language to is now a SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT...A very intelligent one at that...She could sell ice to a snowman if she wanted to...Just thought I would share my most recent Seconds Of Pleasure with ya'll...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Black Magic Woman...

2008-06-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

So today was my first day back to the JOB in like a week...I was like we busted our asses to meet budget this quarter, so I'm taking a few days off...More like 5, but thats not the point...I went in real early this morning, eight-ish...Them mofos were looking at me like they saw a damn ghost...I never, I repeat never go into work early unless A)At least 6 of them are getting their farewells, or B)13 of them are getting canned...So they pretty much were shaking in their boots...Walked in, and the ass-kissing began..."Oh you look very ravishing today T"...Yes, I was...To say that I was drunk the majority of the past 5 days, I was looking very exceptional today..This was the outfit that I chose to bless the world with today...From my favorite naughty girl store, Vicky's...Was wearing the shit out of it...My boobies are so much bigger than hers so just imagine the wicked amount of cleavage that I was showing...

The place looked outstanding... Everything was clean...I mean everything...From the windows, to my office...No receipts, invoices, candy wrappers, condoms, lying around...I was amazed, but so, so proud of my AGM's...Everythang was Everythang...For lunch I called Bitch Headquarters(which is basically me and the girls on this conference call), to see if there were any plans...Yes, as usual...We went to this spot called Dick's... Some of you may be familiar with it, but for those who aren't its basically this restaurant that lives up to its name DICKS...No not penis, people are actually complete assholes to you, and I loves every minute of that shit...Had lunch...Decided to go home and watch a few soaps...And low and behold, what's the first thing I see when I place my keys on the stand in the bedroom...A fucking Spider...I am terrified of anything that crawls, jumps, bites, slides, squirms, fly, sucks...Just terrified...Jump onto the bed trying to come up with a brilliant idea on how to kill this mothafucka, without me having a heart-attack in the process...See this is why we shouldn't have slept with that damn door open...I got it...Death by COACH, so dignified...Another one bites the dust... Well thats it world, nothing to spectacular about today, except my ass, and the divine sexiness that is my body... I'm gonna leave you with The Cereal Mascots In Therapy, Enjoy...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Fire & Desire...

2008-06-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

Is the song that I was awakened too, that and of course the Flashing Lights...Lets see what ya gurl T looked like after the after after party... Didn't stay long...Had to be fresh for the activities in the morning...

Wow...At least this time I'm not on the living room floor, passed out in the jacuzzi tub, on the balcony, deck or any other strange place that I always seem to love...

Yep...I was out

Can't Tell Me Noffin'

Ha!!! I Caught Yo Azz This Time Mr. Wright, Now You Must Pay...

Cause I got this fire...So umm do you mind if I...

Well Goodnight World...I've got to go umm bake some cookies...So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

P.S. To Mr. Kelly, Fuck You Dear Sir, With A Dick Laced With Straight Edged Razors In Tha Ass. Why Did Your Kiddie Pissin On Ass Have To Be On Such A Great Song...Fuck You!!!

Round Two Tonight

2008-06-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

So I had every intention of getting plastered last night, but didn't know that it would only take three screwdrivers to knock me on my ass, but more on this later.

Pretty awesome day yesterday, I woke up with that certain glow that you can only get from a nice dick-down...Dirty, nasty, spine-realigning, limping the next day, but it was so worth it dick-down...Called the girl SM, got the plans for the day(Speaking of SM, this chicks birthday is tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna feel SOME guilt in church, knowing that as soon as Passta says "Let the church say amen" for the third and final time, all that will be left of us is a memory...headed straight to Denver for a day of total fuckery...

For the afternoon, we decided to play a couple rounds of Golf...This chick was on some ol Tiger Woods shit...Beat my ass like it was no tomorrow...That's cool though, cause I am the Racquetball Queen in the gym... Enough with Golfing, it was like 110 degrees on the green...We called it quits...Went home, took a shower, and met up with the rest of the gang at this spot...

Oasis, more like a HO-asis if you ask me, there were at least 50 minors in that bitch. Neither one of us wanted to do a nickel in the pen, so we bounced...Took the party to another spot called Mingles...Very Mature crowd, so we stayed... Got up to the bar, ordered myself and the girls a drank...I ordered a screwdriver, which was more screw then driver...I was feeling a little loose after the first...

The girls CG & MA were playing a game of pool...SM was over in the corner flirting with the bartender...I was smoking/texting the mans wondering why I'm feeling so tipsy after only two drinks...Mind you I'm a certified card-carrying alcoholic, and I'm like WTF, this mofo done stuck one of them date rape pills in my shit, gotta watch his ass...About an hour rolls by, I'm polishing off my third and final drank...I was to that point where EVERYBODY starts to look good, and extremely horny, no way I was gonna waste my lace undies on some stranger...So I called it quits on the drankin...Don't need to wake up in some random guys bed the next day with nothing on but skin and smelling like Stetson, no thanks...Called the mans to come pick us up, no one was in driving condition...Pulled SM off the bartender...CG & MA were now dancing on the pool table...So I yanked them up...Got to the house...watched videos for a bit...Told the ladies goodnight...WTF they did once I went to sleep, I have no clue...I was to busy trying to break in the new sheets...

Yep, that pretty much sums up the day...I didn't wake up with a hangover for once...And round two is jumping off tonight...I promise to share the details...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Side-Note: Tomorrow is Father's Day this we all know...Here's just a little about the man in which I call my Father... My sperm-donor left before I was born, so I know absolutely nothing about this jackass...But the Man who has raised me since the tender age of two is the light of my life, my hero, my ace-k-boom...Did he have to take me in as his own, no...But felt the need to anyway...Mom was/is the dictator, he's the let's go fishing to get away from this crazy woman type of man...Pretty cool guy...It hurts like hell now that his health is failing him...He recently had a stroke...But knowing him, this is nothing...He will be there to see all of his grandkids births, my baby sis graduate from high school, the many, many weddings that all FIVE of his little girls will have(ones enough for me) and etc...I keep telling myself this, and praying to God that this is so...My life without him is meaningless...So hang in there old man, alot of folks are depending on you...And with my all in all, I LOVE YOU!!!

Booty Shakin With My Glass In My Left One...Right Hand Sayin Step Son...

2008-06-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

Thats right ya'll its Friday bitches, and Ladies Night in some parts. Time to dust the wood wheel off and let ya screens relax. Personally imma stop by the job, say whats up and head straight to the bar. Its been a rough week, and what better way to celebrate than consuming hundreds of dollars worth of likka, shaking yo ass with ya girls/boys, and passing out on yo deck. I can't think of anything better. My ass Will be glued to the front pew on Sunday asking for forgiveness for the things that are gonna go down this weekend... Oh Hells Mothafuckin Yes!!!! I'LL HOLLA BITCHES!!!

You're My Number One, Number One, Number One...

2008-06-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

I know today is National Gettin Some Head Day, but I decided to take a break for JUST a bit. Give the man a chance to recuperate, drink some water, and apply some lip balm. Poor baby, imma give him a neck massage tonight, he's over in the corner in the fetal position possibly praying that I'll get drunk and pass out so we don't have to continue the shenanigans...

You know what I realized today... My job consumes me... I mean this is the first time in a while that I've had two consecutive days off in a row...Of me actually not doing anything work related, I.E. calling every five minutes to check the status, make sure no one burned the place down, nobody beat the shit out of someone, conference calls... Yep the first time in a long time...

Bet you think that I was able to get alot of personal things that needed to be done out of the way...HELLS NO... Lets see what did I do yesterday...That's right, I was blogging/stalking yesterday, drankin, watching VH1 Soul...Fuck paying the cable bill...That shit could wait...

Today, well pretty much the same occurred, except Mr.Wright didn't go to work today cause I promised him that I would pleasure him all day today... More like him pleasuring me... Shit its been a while since we've done things that's only mentioned in some old freaks bridge game...And I didn't have a drop of likka(until dinner) today... I needed to be well hydrated for that ass, so there wouldn't be any excuses...

Took this long, steamy bath right after the AC guy left... You know last night wasn't that bad... I didn't think I was gonna survive with the AC being broke and all, but we opened the doors to the balcony...And I was good, scared somebody was goin rob our asses for sleeping with the balcony door open all night, but good...

Lit every candle that we own... Turned on some Sade', I like the bitch and all, but Mr. Wright has this weird fascination with her... I just can't get into the mood, when I'm listening to lyrics such as "In heavens name, why are you running away, hang on to your love"... Did I say I was going anywhere?... Or my all time favorite depressing hit from Madam Sade' "Sittin here waitin on you, will be like waiting for Winter"...Have you lost your mind, mofo I'm not waitin to cum, shit you can if you like but I REFUSE... Personally I prefer some Johnny Gill, Silk, Freddie Jackson...Yes I know they're all gay, but "My My My", "Rock Me Tonight", or "Lets Make Love" is the type of shit that I wanna hear... But for love sacrifices must be made...

Did some laundry... Now you make think that washing clothes is NOT ROMANTIC...*puts on naughty grin*... I begs to differ...

Took a nap... hell even Superman took a break... woke up... Ate a delicious meal of Shrimp Primavera, Had this lovely Apricot Bavarian for dessert, and guzzled it down with wine... What type/kind/flavor I don't know I was too busy dancing on top of the table cause Mystikal's "Shake Your Ass" came on... All I know is that it was in a black bottle with piercing red letters...

You know to say he's a whyte boy, my baby has so much class and SOUL... He's the only man that I've ever been with such warmth and consideration. Alot of folks are intimidated by him at first cause he's this 6'5 pushing 270 pounds, very muscular mofo, but deep down he's just a big ass lovebug...My LoveBug...My Number One, Number One, Number One...

Well I'll Be Damned...

2008-06-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

Supposedly This Is The Type Of Capricorn That I Am... I Totally Fucking Agree...

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

I Hereby Declare Today National Gettin Some Head Day...

2008-06-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

So wrap you're lips around someones innermost parts, or vice versa...That is all...

*Puts On Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up"*
"Come Here Baby We Needs To Talk"

Say It Now...

2008-06-11T16:38:00.000-07:00

Since my drankin buddy is passed out from numerous coontini's, my man is still at work along with my peeps, I have nothing else to do besides watch The Beyonce' Experience for the fifth time, drank myself into an oblivion and blog. Now before I get out whatever it is that I'm going to blog about today, I just want to tell Ms. Winehouse this.

F U Man, you have been replaced with a new singing sensation, and though it hurts me to say this, she's hotter. True, Back To Black was in heavy rotation for a hot minute, until your ass started singing racist hymns and shit. I was cool with all the drankin and drug use, but for this no forgiveness shall be given *SMH* Why Amy, that's okay cause DUFFY is now leading the Real Music Movement on my Zune.

Ahhh, this is crazy, for a woman who has an opinion on everything, I have nothing to talk about. So here's what I'm gonna do, stalk a few favorite sites for a while, and when I return I promise to have some interesting thought to speak on. Wait just a little while longer, for I shall return....

*Insert Long Pause*

And Viola I'm back... Did you miss me?... Well I found some very interesting things. Lets see, shall I talk about Fitty & His Baby Mama...
Nah cause everytime I see this man I just want to get NAKED. True the mofo looks like the Guerilla of his unit...But that BODY of his... I'm just gonna stay away. So maybe I will discuss the War...
Nah, I'll save my political views for another time... Now just maybe I will discuss Exes And The Need/Want To Continually Speak With Them.

Sounds good to me, but where do I begin, umm lets see. As many of you may know I was once married, crazy I know, the thought of my very flirtatious, ass/penis groping of random men, lying to get free dranks ass, being MARRIED is hilarious. Probably think that Jesus himself would've slapped me at the alter for the mockery, but the lady T-Bone is very much committed when a commitment is present.

Lets tackle this topic a little shall we... This will be brief, cause I've got to find something to eat before I pass out from dehydration. I guess an all liquid diet only works if you drink things other than alcohol, but I digress...

Yes, I was married, and did my ex husband communicate with his exes, yes. Did he lie about it, yes. Was I cool with him doing this, no, but this was only a minor glitch in our entire marriage. Thing is, I was a little salty about him speaking with the chicks, but the lying about is what made matters worst. Whats a marriage if there's no trust besides constant second guessing. Was this the reason that I decided to play past ways with him... It was definitely part of the reason...

Lets see, it was the lying on both parts, the cheating on both parts, the frustration of both parts, that quickly turned into the hating of each other... Hate is such a strong word, lets just say a STRONG DISLIKE... Did we try, damn right, but it just wasn't enough. My mind had already made up my heart's mind. So I left, it was just too much for me. Now do I still communicate with him, not really... Its more on the lines of "Hey Bitch, How Ya Doing", and keeps it moving. I just don't understand how so much anger could be present after its all said and done with a person in which you loved. Maybe its that you hate the fact that you once loved/still do this person and just don't know what to do with these emotions but ship them into the sea of anger... I don't know, this is just my thoughts on it...

Well I'm about to hit up Wendy's for one of them spicy chicken sammaches, So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

P.S. I tried to do a remake of this Janet Jackson performance on the mans... and well...

We didn't really have the set-up like she did, so it was me climbing atop of his ass on the kitchen counter... well I'm not as flexible as I thought I was, slipped, fell on my knees, but played that shit off like I was trying to seduce him into hitting it from the back. But I do have that riding part down to a T. Good Times!

You Know What I Hate...

2008-06-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

So I decided that I wanted to play this little game called "You know what I hate". The rules are real simple, all you have to do is say "you know what I hate" before each statement below. I wanted to go ahead and put this out there so mofos won't think that I'm illiterate and shyt cause I'm using fragments of sentences. But lets get this party started shall we...

When mothafuckas call or come by after the alloted times that I specifically have set aside for bullshittin around. Everyone knows that I am only available between the hours of 10pm and 1am mountain time, cause generally after that time I'm usually drunk, and even if you do get a hold of me, how the fuck you can understand a word I'm saying is a mystery to me, passed out from all the likka I've consumed in record time, fucking(I won't go into details), watching spongebob(and I will not be disturbed), at work or doing a combination of each. It may sound impossible, but I knows how to coordinate.

Waking up with a death-hangover. I have been doing pretty good lately, but THIS MORNING... I thought I was dying. I got so messed up last night, I woke up and couldn't see out of one eye, bytch was freakin out thinkin I was goin have to be like Ray Charles, mad cause he can't find Waldo.

The fact that I LOVES going to see the mans at work. I actually thought it was gonna be boring the first time that I went considering that he's an architect and all. A bunch of blue-prints, measuring tapes, and shyt lying around, but it was completely different. I actually had the chance to see, computer generated of course, some of his plans in action. Pretty damn amazing. I'm so proud of him.

Dirty, fat, stanky, mothafuckas. You know the mothafuckas that you see coming, and say to yourself, Thank God...Or maybe its just me. But anyways, that shit turns my stomach. So if you're either of the above, please do us all a favor and a)take a bath/shower, whatever it is that you would normally do to get the funk off, b)(Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problem or quarrels with those who's weight is inclined, this is addressed to those who are and is doing nothing about the problem at hand)) Diet & Exercise, pretty simple huh, c)In addition to A, please add a little soap to this process, it just won't be the same without it.

My laptop right now. Apparently I broke my CD/DVR drive, how, I don't know, but I have to replace it. Life without me burning CD's or DVD's is just so normal, and I don't like it one bit.

Going into Neiman's and having the same old bitch eyeing me throughout my entire shopping experience. I can understand one time, cause let's just be honest, thats what they are trained to do "spot out the niggas, and follow their asses around", but everytime I go, thats just ridiculous. I mean I DO go in that bytch lookin real "ghetto" in some sweats, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, but thats only because I like to be comfortable while I'm shopping. Theres no way in hell I'm walking around a store in spaghetti thin 6 in. heels, no fucking way.

Wal-Mart, and with a vengeance. I hate going to this place cause normally what would take me only five minutes to get in another store, takes me six damn hours to get here. I get up to the register to buy the trashbags or some other random item and lo and behold, someones complaining about prices, or quantity, food, candy, baby shit... I fucking hate that damn place.

My bank, and their fucking limits. I mean seriously how the fuck can you tell me how much of MY MONEY I can spend in a day, true I have it set up that way cause I need to go to rehab for spending so much, but you have no right. I hate all you energetic, happy mothafuckas. Everytime I call "Hi Ms. T-Bone, What Can We Do For You Today"... Fuck You All, especially you Meagan since you're the one that I spoke to today.

Amazon.com. Thing is I'm a prime member and every so often, I think its like every two years, you have to renew your subscription to continue to get free 2-day shipping. Well I didn't know this until a couple of days ago, when I was reviewing my bank statement, and noticed this foreign charge of 80 bucks from them. So after about 10 mins of me cussing at the representative for this charge that I knew nothing about, which in all honesty is my own damn fault for not actually reading the fine lines, I just hung up the phone. I know its only 80 dollars, but that had me scared and shyt, thinking that Pablo or Consuela had stole my identity.

The Travel Channel. Mofos always tempting me, knowing good and damn well I can't take a vacay until August. It won't actually be a vacation, I'm just going to visit the fam down in Louisiana.

The fact that I am really missing my "Second" home, Houston, TX. Maybe I will extend the vacay and spend a few days there with some friends. I just got to get current on my Screw.

Thats it for tonight world, I could go on forever, but I have some more drankin to do. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

What A Day...

2008-06-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

OMG, I seriously had one of them days at work to make a bitch say FUCK THIS!!! So I walk into the spot humming the Dora The Explorer Theme(I was watching it before work), and the minute I hit the door, I gets pummeled by at least 10 complaints about this guy who won't shut the fuck up about the war. Now if there's one thing that I know, its not to EVER talk about politics and religion at work. I found this out the hard way. So after about 20 minutes of intense debating with this ass clown as to why Obama is the most worthy candidate, I fled the scene, not because I wanted to(I STANS for a good debate) but because I had to. I Had to make a few phone calls. 2 O'Clock rolls around, I start to get excited cause for once no one called in and everyone is on time. I let out a big sigh of relief, only to regret that shit minutes later. So we just hired a new cook and today was his first day of training, so far so good right, thing is, the current cook who was suppose to do the training all of a sudden took sick after I laughed at him and told him that the Lakers suck. Well they do shit, its not like I was lying to the sonofabitch. Anyways I bargained with him to stay cause if he didn't do the shit my black ass is the only other person certified for the job. And besides, I was looking, smelling, and feeling like a million fucking bucks so no way I was gonna be on a hot ass line cooking for eight hours. Yep I was only lying to myself. You know it seems like every time I actually wear my hair down to work I end up cooking, same as with whenever I wear white, I ends up slanging dishes. Well damnit, a bitch gets tired of neutral fucking colors and having my hair in buns. Back to story, the beginning of the shift with, we are gonna call him Semi, was all cool. I showed him basically everything that he needed to know to survive a shift of cooking with me, I asked if he understood all of this, yes was the answer I received so cool. About four or five hours into shift we start to get busy, so I'm like move your ass Semi, we have at least 10 orders that we need to get out like yesterday, this is another reason why I don't like training I don't have the patience. This mothafucka gets slower, and I kinda lose my cool. Aside from the fact that I have been speaking Spanglish for hours upon hours cause this mothafucka doesn't know a drop of English, I was really feigning for a shot of something and cigarette, he was only making matters worst. Oh but I survived, 10 O'Clock rolled around and I sent that mothafucka home, showing him the areas that needed to be cleaned would have only extended my 10 hour shift to 20 and I, just NO!!! I begin cleaning the shit myself so I can get the fuck out of there, and low and behold one of The Mans Exes showed up to talk once again. In case you didn't know this is one of the Bitches that I was talking about in the last post, and now was not a good time for her and I to talk. She's on this you're black and don't deserve such a fine(as in upstanding, not sexy, though that he is) white man bullshit. We've had arguments that turned into me slapping the Bitch down many, many times before, but apparently that wasn't enough. She's been basically slandering me lately, on some real bullshit, and I've been letting that shit in one ear and out the other cause anyone who knows me, knows that all of the shit isn't true, but enough is enough damnit, and trust me I let the bitch know that, but in a very professional manner considering the fact that I was still at work and my employees really look up to me. Ended that shit real quick, got everything that I needed to done, and made it home in Mach 5 speed. It was just one of them days, all I can do is shake my head and be glad that its over. Now if only I could sit on Lenny Kravitz face, that would make it so much better right now, but since he isn't here and I don't feel like explaining to my baby why there's pussy juice all over Lenny's face, I'll just sit on his. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

I Don't Think Its Legal...

2008-06-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

My ass did it anyways. Alls I remember from last night is my social, and I barely remember that shit. I also found out that Mr.Wright takes these secret pics of me when I'm drunk and passed what we like to call In The Land Of No Bullshit, "The Fuck Out." Apparently I cuddled with my rug for a while last night, and later ended up showing my naked ass to my silk sheets. But you don't have to take my word for it, here is some proof.

Yep! I was OUT!!! Spread Eagle Both Ways

On My Way To Bed!!!

Watch Back of a Smiley

For those of you who really thought that I was gonna post pics of my nice apple bottom, to you dear sir or ma'am, well I'll let the smiley explain.

Yep, it was one of those nights, at least this time I didn't have to explain to the man why I came home smelling like Stetson, and rocking the Commando. Yes I was a good girl last night, no touching, flirting, or quickie-ing random men. Wheres my cookie damnit!!!

Until Next Time World...

I'LL HOLLA!!!

Side Note: Yep I'm Going To Church

Real Women Drink...

2008-06-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

Drink Moet' Mimosa's for breakfast... Have Margarita's for lunch... Cosmo's for dinner... And Gin & Tonic Night Caps.

Here's a pic of my whole bar.

Two in one day, thats got to be a record for me, just wanted to get out a few post to last you through out the weekend. Its gonna be a weekend to remember...Hope yours is just as fabulous as mine. Until next time world...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Well Because I'm Vain...

2008-06-07T00:13:00.000-07:00

And I miss you babe :(

Don't Want To Toot My Own Horn....

2008-06-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

But Toot Mothafuckin Toot. I mean I am only a mere 21yrs old and am more successful than a lets say 25yr old. I am the BOSS, literally, been at the job for almost a year now and I can't complain. I finally decided as to what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, well besides my man, nursing is the path I'm taking. So UW here I come. My motivation, lets see, my childhood. I grew up in the fuckin slums of Baton Rouge, LA. I always told myself that if I ever get out of this place, I'm never coming back, physically yes, but emotionally, NEVER. My parents did the best that they could for us no doubt, but I always hungered for more. Now that I am finally able to taste freedom, I made a promise to myself to never fall off. True, when a bitch first came into such large quantities of money, there was a bunch of waste. I was trying to live up to our society's definition of living large, "Ballin" is what we call it. There was the constant shopping, the jewelry, the "making it rain" basically. I look back now like, bitch you was on some other shit. Today I'm a totally different woman, I've got my shit together if you will. Making investments, saving a lot of that money I used to blow, hell a bitch even put a nice down payment on a condo to share with the mans. I don't mean to brag, but I'm doing pretty well for a 21yr old wouldn't you agree? Until Next Time World... I'LL HOLLA...Oh and since I have a lot of them...

Hi Haters!!!!

Dear Mr. Dom Perignon...

2008-06-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

Will You Marry Me... Because of you I'm so fucked up right now and loving it. I tell ya babe no one has ever made me feel this way. Its just something about you that I can't resist, maybe its your golden hue with glints of silver and green and very delicate, numerous and vivacious bubbles that form an unbroken ring in the glass, or maybe, the aromas of puree of apples, poached pears, vanilla, hazelnuts, melba toast and yellow-plum jam as well as superb hints of quince and chalk, but just maybe its because you're very fruity with flavours of very ripe light-coloured fruit. Whatever it is love, its good. So let me know, we've got a wedding to plan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! God my black ass is going to bed now before the mans wakes up from the hurting I put on that ass and accuse me of cheating on him with champagne. Until Next Time World, I'LL HOLLA!!!

God I'm A Sexy Drunk!!!!!

Fear Of Commitment....

2008-06-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm working on it. Normally by this time I would have found some kind of way to sabotage the relationship that I'm currently in because, well I don't have a good enough excuse. "I don't see myself being with you any longer," is what two of the exes heard, but all the while I was thinking "he's smothering me, I NEED MY SPACE." Fucked up, I know, but Men today just don't give me the want & need to want & need them, well besides my man of course, but more on him later. I mean most of the men that I have been with serious with, a total of three to be exact, were decent, hell one wowed me enough to marry him, but as I look back, neither one stood a chance. Men today are too soft, irresponsible, scared, immature, confused and etc. Lets elaborate on each of my convictions a little shall we.....

Too Soft- Kanye 'Nuff Said

Irresponsible- I was just on one of my favorite sites O Hell Nawl, so many comments on the "Behold A Lady" thread touched me but a single moms cry shook me to the core. I mean what ever happened to society(Men, This is a Man's World Isn't It) standing by women, praising her because she bears life, loving her, protecting her, respecting her, lifting her higher, the words bitch and hoe wouldn't have even been uttered to a notoriously known whore, Why you say, out of the respect and fact that she is a Woman. The "Children Having Children" rate would be diminished out of the fact that Fathers would actually play a part in their lives, therefore relinquishing the phenomena of "Single Moms." But whats in the past is only a mere reflection of the present. To actually have men "Step Up To The Plate" is a little too much to ask now is it, they would rather degrade women in musical lyrics and million dollar videos(true we allow this to occur, but as men, supposed leaders, a line should be drawn), impregnate us only to leave when the words are uttered, and etc... Don't get me wrong there may be a lot of men out there in which this has absolutely nothing to do with, but pretty much the majority of men nowadays fall into at least one of the categories. Moving on now shall we....

Scared- Now this is just my observation of Black Men, being that I'm black, and the only "outside of race" relationship that I've been in is my current one. I once asked a male friend of mine what is it about other race women that attracts you to them more than a black woman? The answer I received was shocking and in my opinion just insane, "See with a black woman, more work is involved, its harder to please her. Now with chicks of other races, they settle, happier with what you give them and you don't have to work so hard to get the ass." What!?!?! I've never... Don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against interracial dating but the thought of a black man not wanting anything to do with a black woman because she isn't "easy" in all aspects of a relationship makes me a little salty.

Immature- I think my notion above pretty much sums up this one too.

Confused And Etc- I'm filing the DL situation under this one. Men, Men, Men, please decide on as to what it is exactly that you want. Stop making us suffer from the lies, pain, and in some cases diseases because either you're to scared to admit to this or ashamed. Either way, please stop. So many of my sisters are dying because of your pride, and your ego's, when are you going to realize this? If you are man enough to get low, than be man enough to let us know something, please, for the sake of the continuation of "Beautiful Black People", and all others.

Now that I have given a little more insight as to why I usually bash all of my relationships, let me just say that this was never a problem to me, because I had my reasons. Now being in my current relationship, for once, I'm willing to work on this little flaw that I have. For once I am seeing that there is hope for the male species out there, and this is one relationship I won't be ending because of my fear of commitment. So for those who were wondering why I Bitch-slapped him this morning, well, cause I can damnit... Had to let him know who the boss is at all times, work, play, shit it don't matter. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!

A Real Post...

2008-06-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

Later on today, I only got out of bed to Bitch-Slap the man before he left for work(long story), and to check the e-mail. So wait just a little bit longer world, until then, I'LL HOLLA!!!

Miscellaneous Cause Once Again Random Is Taken...

2008-05-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

I think I have OCD. I'm constantly cleaning, rearranging, dusting, so much so the mans hid my cleaning supplies. FUCKER!!!! Now I'm sitting here shaking while I type cause I'm pretty sure that the fingerprint on the screen contains some kind of skin-eating bacteria...

After finally counting all of my CD'S, I realize that I now have a grand total of 6,274. Pretty impressive huh? I bet by the end of this year that total will be increased by at least another thousand...

Speaking of music the girl SM hooked me onto the musical genius Roy Hargrove. I'm absolutely addicted to "I'll Stay" and "Poetry"...

I'm constantly buying random shit that I don't need. For instance Tuesday I saw this commercial on VH1 soul for these foot-pads that supposedly cleanse toxins from your body while you sleep. I'm almost certain its a hoax but I just had to have them...

Since we are on the feet topic, I recently found out that I have tendonitis... After much research I found that it can occur from an old injury that has been agitated... I'm thinking its from when I fractured my ankle from jumping a fence, back in my tom-boy days...

I am addicted to you tube...

The new Usher CD is GARBAGE, Your Lips, My Ass...They Should Meet...Forward All Objections To IT...

On the sense of garbage music, what ever happened to the "Feel Good Music," "Soul Music," "Real R&B?"... I swear if I hear one more Soulja Boy song, I'm turning in my Black Card...

I would kill for some Crawfish right about now...

My Mom is the only lady I know who goes to church every Sunday, but cusses like a sailor. Speaks the truth on Black on Black violence, but will quickly fuck a bitch up at any given time. Talks about the disadvantages of Drankin', but puts nasty ass Brandy in her morning coffee. God I Love That Chick!...

I hate pork chops...

Hopefully by this time in about four years ya gurl will be a licensed RN. An Architect and a Nurse, what a combination...

I am terrified of anything that crawls, slides, squirms, and jumps...

Making love in the rain is so overrated...

I'm thinkin about getting that "Rihanna Hair Cut"...

I'm not where I need to be in life to be having kids... But if it were to happen trust that we are ready...

Candles, Candles everywhere...

I hold grudges...

But I am a forgiving person...

Loud Bass twenty-four fucking seven...

Two vices, smoking and drinkin...

Addicted to the word mothafucka, hell any other vulgar word for that matter...Bite me...

The more the better...

That Is All World. Until next time, I'LL HOLLA!!!!

A Day In The Life Of...

2008-05-27T09:18:00.001-07:00

That chick that goes by the name of T.

Lets see, wake up at some random time in the early morning because for some strange reason my body doesn't believe in sleeping in without force. Try to make it to the bathroom without accidentally killing myself from falling over shoes or tools that the BF decided to what seems like to me purposely place in my blurry walking path. Take care of the business in the bathroom, crawl back into bed, push the mans back to his side, try to fall back asleep, but soon realize that the music that was once relaxing is now annoying as fuck. Ugghh!! The music's off and whoop whoop mission accomplished, back in my slumber.

Ten O'Clock in the A.M. alarm goes off, I pretend not to hear it but am forced to face reality when HE wants me to thank him for the nice gesture of turning that shit off by doing the morning mambo. Oh No Sir! Time to get ready for work, three hours to be exact...

One O'Clock in the afternoon, on my way to work. I'm blasting something motivational to change every intent that I have to turn the car around cause I'm in my fuckitall mood. Half hour later I step foot into Hell. Don't get me wrong I love my job, but work in general leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I say my hello's to everyone, head to the office only to find that 90% of the staff called in. Great, Just Fucking Great!!! There goes my day of not doing shit. Making orders, doing dishes, handling lame ass customer complaints, listening to nonstop whining, blah, blah, blah...

Time flies and the celebration begins, I can now go home. Ten O'Clock P.M., makes a mad dash for the door running back style, drives off doing 90 out the parking lot, get home only to find something romantic that the man has/is doing. Well no good deed goes unrewarded... Time flies, and now its time for bed. Try to fall back asleep, but soon realize that the silence that was once relaxing is now annoying as fuck. Ugghh!! Turns the music on. Music's on and whoop whoop mission accomplished, fuck counting sheep, I'd rather count money. This is the daily process, now there are the rare occasions in which I eat, talk to the fam, watch t.v., you know things that a normal person would do, but nothing about my life is normal. Just add insane parties that quickly turns into orgies(Thats when a bitch bounces) on the weekends and you got yourself a certified business woman.

Go On Boy....

2008-05-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

I first saw love almost three years ago. He smiled, took my ID to verify my status, though I made nothing of it. At the time I was going through yet another break-up, and smiles and kind words were not the shit that I was trying to hear/see at the time. The tour went on, but by the end we had exchanged numbers. Days passed...finally....a call, just to hear that sexy voice and I was good. "Would you like to go out tonight?" A little hesitant, because I knew he would be deemed as the "rebound," "Yes I would"

First date I was on the biggest high, maybe from your swagger, sense of humor, respect of my femininity... all the less I wanted to be your girl. We laughed, ate a delicious meal, saw this movie, you know the usual...

Second date the wanting for you became harder to hide into our round two of the first date, but still no goodnight kiss.

A pause in our mission, I had to leave for work and wouldn't be able to see you for a couple of days. Sucks, I knew this, but thanks to you and T-Mobile my bill had me seeing large quantities of digits, but it was all cool baby cause I loved hearing your baritone.

...Time flies, we were now officially a couple... dates were a thing of the past. Now we were just "going out" but still the intimacy that we both needed and wanted was not present. Yet you kept your cool, never pressuring me into doing something that I may have denied that I wasn't ready for, but my body could no longer contain...

...The First....The first time we became one, the first time I shared something with you that is only shared with the selected. The first time I let you in the innermost aspects of this misses... Was and still to this day one of the greatest moments in my life. I never thought that such happiness could be achieved by the combining of two, but since.... I've never...

The weather was sunny yet gloomy this day, though I was full of sunshine cause I was marrying the man of my dreams. Took them vows and nobody could tell me nothing. I was in love baby and you were the reason. Did I think about the what if's and the maybe's, yes I did but none of that shit mattered to me, cause you had me and I had you...

Smooth sailing hon, sure we had our problems, but what marriage didn't... Is what I kept telling myself to get through the fact that this was not the life that I wanted. Don't get me wrong you were/are still an awesome man... It was ALL me, my fuckedupness, my constant need to be supreme, my ever dying hunger for the things I can't have, me always wanting a change and etc... Yet you remained the same, and to that baby I say don't change.

You know its funny... I never thought that we would be HERE. I mean how could you say that you really love someone, but when it's all said and done hate each other like the fucking plague. Why baby? I never meant for things to be this way, I wish we could just BE FRIENDS, but this isn't possible considering that my truth is why you hate me so much now... But it is what it is love... Go On Boy!!! Though we ended on such bad terms, there is/will always be a LITTLE part of me that still loves you. Souvenirs is what I call them...

To My Ex-Husband...Maybe just a little of what you didn't know ex-lover... Eat up, Enjoy!!!

Girls Let Yo Bowels Loose...

2008-05-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

My friend B sent me the link to this crazy ass video a few mins ago. I have to say this is some of the funniest shit I've seen in a while. The bitch is on some other shit, but IT'S DA TRUTH. Alls I got to say is ladies there is nothing wrong with taking a shit at yo mans house. I mean, you let the mofo stick his dick in ya and all types of random shit, but you can't take a shit at his house, come on man, it's 2008, its old. Just like they don't make women who don't suck a dick anymore, its time for that shit to retire. Anyways check out this video.

Whats Yo Fantasy...

2008-05-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well since my fantasy of fucking Mr. Marcus in the back of a piggly wiggly has been shattered due to the fact of my lovely Mr. Wright, Its time to fulfill a new one. Shit you got to make sacrifices in love, anyways I can count the number of times I've been asked whats my fantasy on ten peoples hand, but never answered seriously until....

The weather has been on some other shit here lately, so we've really had nothing to do but chill at home, watch movies, drank, and gain about 10 pounds a piece from all the fast food. Anyways we we're just chillin and out comes the questions. *Gives him the are you serious look, cause knowing this mofo this is just another attempt to get some, knowing good damn well hes cut off because of the cheeseburger incident* And after a series of questions to verify his sincerity, I attempted to answer his question, but quickly realized that I had no idea. I mean I've done about everything that I could possibly fathom (except Mr. Marcus), but yet there is so much left to do. Its not the fact that I am not creative enough, its just that when it comes to him fulfilling it I want it to be "special" and original. All of these thoughts were running through my head, will he, won't he, will it be the same afterwards, whats the injury rate like... Then I realized that my "true fantasy" was being fulfilled daily. That it was not about sex at all, it was about me actually finding true happiness in a man...

Licking his lips LL Style, he slowly caressed my thigh, turned up the "Me And Mrs. Jones" and stuffed another oatmeal pie in his mouth. (Nasty bastards prolly thought I was about to say some freaky shit huh, SUCKAS) We generally have good conversation, but I have to say this was the best. Knowing him it'll only get better with time.... Well world, thats about all that I want to talk about tonight...Sooooooo I'll Holla!!!

I'm Not Eating Fo Dayz

2008-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well I was goin talk about what random shit I was goin get into this weekend, BUT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE SON...

OMG, Is all I can say. I spotted this shit over at TheBeatniks. This really fucked up my equilibrium. Fat mothafucka!!! Looking like a turtle with tiddies, and Isaac Hayes on steroids. I can't do this shit today.

I Am An Awesome Girlfriend

2008-05-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

I'm so intoxicated this is all I want to do right about now..... (Thats my sexy ass by the way, my baby took that photo many many nights ago in which I was to fucked up to stop him)

But I saw this little quiz and couldn't resist, I Am An Awesome Girlfriend...Anyways my ass is calling it an night. Goodnight World, I'll Holla!!!

What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend are you?
My Result: Independent Yet Devoted

		You are confident enough in yourself that you do not always need that someone by your side, or need to know what they are doing. You trust that they are loyal and don't need constant reassurance. You can spend a night out with your friends and have fun, with or without your partner. Despite these characteristics, you always assure that your partner knows you are devoted to them, even through the most subtle gestures. Take What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend are you? Find more quizzes at Quibblo.com

The Bytch Is Back...

2008-05-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

Thats right people, I'm back and sexier than ever considering the fact that I had IV's and shit sticking out of my body for half a week. Apparently I had a mild case of pneumonia, but the shit was severe enough to hospitalize my black ass. The only good thing about that fucking plague was that I lost ten pounds, and loving it. So break out the champagne glasses, ITS A CELEBRATION BITCHES. On another note, there is something that I've been wanting to let out for weeks now, but didn't really have the strength to type, so why not let it out now...SHALL WE?

Strengths & Weakness...My Own Of Course...

Strength- Beauty
Weakness- Beauty(Its A Gift And A Curse)

Strength- Brains
Weakness- Intelligent Men

Strength- Power Of Persuasion
Weakness- Satisfaction

Strength- Money
Weakness- Shopping

Strength- Stability
Weakness- A Week Of Sheer Bliss! (Oh I Would Kill For Some Peace Right Now)

Strength- Loving
Weakness- Loving My Man (There is so much that I can say about him, but to summarize, I Love To Love Him)

Strength- Very Opinionated
Weakness- A Great Discussion

Strength- My Wit
Weakness- Funny jokes every and then

Strength- A Career
Weakness- Getting Raises On A Regular.

And the list could go on forever, but forever is not long enough now is it. I just wanted to let out a basis of what I perceive myself to be. Have a GOODNIGHT YA'LL, I know I will.

I'm Still Alive...

2008-05-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry to disappoint some of you who wish I wasn't, but aside from me LIVING, I am sick as a dog. So sick, I possibly won't go back to work until Friday, I'm high as a kite from all the shit my baby has been making me take...I love my sexy, strong, thoughtful, caring, honest, funny BF, but I digress. So anyways I just wanted to check in with my status, for those who have been constantly checking in on a bytch, thanks so much, a million mickey mouse smooches for you, and for all others, I'll HOLLA!!!

I'm Starting A New Ass Everyday Regime

2008-05-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

So... No partying tonight *shocking I know*, me and the mans are just gonna watch some over-priced cable, drink about two cases of "Blue Moon" (which is like sipping on the jizz of gods by the way), and, well you know the rest.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, I repeat wonderful weekend... I know I will

*Smooches, Baby, I'll HOLLA!!"

Stop It Damnit, Just Stop It

2008-05-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

So....last night I decided that drinking a full bottle of Wiederkehr Beau Noir and letting Mr. Wrights over-sized ass do only God knows what to me was a fucking good idea.

Today: Friday, May 9, 2008

I have a hangover that I'm almost certain is cancer evoking...swollen and sore in the naughty places, and this mofo has a big smile on his face.

*Crying* What did I do to deserve this, SHIT, I'm going back to bed.

Mothers Day...Oh The Horror

2008-05-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

This is the first year that I am NOT pulling out my hair trying to figure out what fabulous gift to get the LADY that gave me life. Oh no not this year, I'm too cool for that...

Every year about this time I ask the simple question, "so what do you want for Mothers Day", and every year I gets the same answer, "Oh whatever YOU want to get me is fine..."

Damnit, I don't know thats why I asked!!! *Of course I didn't say this to her because I'm pretty sure that she would have invented some kind of way to MURDER me through the phone. The headlines WOULD be evoking and that shit would SELL like free ass, and she'd have the nerve to catch a damn attitude when I ask to borrow a DOLLA...*

I mean really what are you ACTUALLY suppose to give a mother, a thank- you card? Thats just tacky and wrong on so many levels, I found this out the hard way...

So last year, I got her a gift certificate to the best damn spa in A-town, Louisiana, which was a bad call. About a month after Mothers Day, we had THIS convo...

Moi- Did you check out that spa yet?
The Moms- No, don't really have time.
Moi- What do you mean you don't have time, you have nothing but time
The Moms- Well I just don't like having random people feeling me up
Moi- What? This coming from the lady who has an obsession with strippers(male). I would have gotten you one, but I'm almost certain you're hubby wouldn't appreciate the gesture.
The Moms- *Laughing* I know right, I don't know baby, spa's just ain't my thing
Moi- Sorry...I promise to get ya something that you'll enjoy next year...

This year after constant nagging, and a few threats to get her that stripper, I finally got her to tell me exactly what she wants. I know my wallet will thank me for it later...

So... I got THE MOMS a ROLEX (2500.00 isn't cheap by the way AMAZON), and SIX, count em up, SIX bottles of LE' GREY GOOSE. She loves that shit, apparently she's having a cocktail party of some sort and needs all that damn liquor. Cocktail party my ass, she just wants to get loose off the goose, well at least she can show off her roley while doing it...

Ahhh, I need a drink.

Miscellaneous (Cause Random Is Taken)

2008-05-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

"Parlez-Vous Frances?"

No Bitch, now leave me the fuck alone(damn trainees). Now if you just so happen to come at me with some Spanish, German, hell even Ebonics, then we can talk.

I hate Buffets with a damn passion, okay let me elaborate. I have NO problem eating until my stomach burst, but being the manager of a damn buffet style restaurant really takes a toll on ya. This fucking buffet is 24 hours/ 7 days a week, and its all gravy until your dumb ass cook decides to quit without a notice, along with your dishwasher, and salad person. Good Times I Tell You, Good Mothafucking Times.

I am in Love with the new MARIO KART. WII ROCKS!!!

I hate dirty old men, who feels its their duty to say nasty shit to you and think that they can get away with it cause their old. Trust, I'll let a bitch know(old ass bastards).

I hate waiting in line after someone who feels as though they are gonna go broke cause the sign said one price, and they are being charged a 2 cents difference. Damn you...just Damn you.

I love my Closets, and all the designer shit packed into them.

Which brings me to the fact that I don't donate as much as I should, Lord Forgive Me.

I'm addicted to Patron' & Smooth Jazz, Hey everyone has their vices.

Since the miscarriage, I've really been thinking about a Three-Some...I think we should get a Dog.

I hate that damn "BLEEDING LOVE" song, every time I hear it I just want to slap someone...Thats not a good look, I'm a little violent as it is, I don't need some song provoking the wrath.

I Hate my bank.

But most of all I HATE McCain's ASS. Fucking Loser

...Sorry about all the hate, and such little love, but I just had to get that off my chest. Have a LOVING day, I know I will.

Back On Track....Party On Baby

2008-05-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

So....now that my soul is safely tucked back in, lets party. J/K, but seriously I just want to say thanks to all my friends and loved ones for the uplifting emails and texts. I'm doing 100% percent better now, and this wouldn't have been possible without your love and support. Thanks A Million