Marriage Sucks

Everyone knows (or at least I think so) how I feel about commitment, let alone marriage, and no its not a matter of immaturity, addiction, or any other classification of my choices that in all honesty can't be classified. I'm just ME, and can't possibly fathom being with one person until, well until. With nothing but respect for those who make that decision, its just not my thing. So, of course I'm gonna find humor in wedding mishaps. Its kinda my past time, jk, but I live for a good accident, mishap, or anything that involves mofos busting their asses, getting bitch slapped, antiqued, ruining coffee tables, and such. Long story short, the misses emailed a video of a wedding ceremony gone wrong, naturally I laughed cause, well I won't spoil it. In-te-hoo, after viewing the hilariousness, I decided to view some of the commentary as well, and I must say that "White America", and feel free to kiss my ass for the generalization, has no gatt damn sense of humor. True, its a very special moment of your life and should be perfect, blah, blah, blah, but come on, lighten up. I know personally, if something like this were to happen at a Hispanic, or even Black wedding not one soul in that mofo would have silenced the laughter, cause well, thats what we do, laugh at funny shit. Oh and don't take my word for it, here is some of the commentary.

mitchberry24 (1 day ago)

how did they deserve it! The guy was a priest! And the girl was the bride!
(Come on man, God has a sense of humor, hence the mishap)

zabciazln (4 days ago)

Man I would kill that dude if that would be me
(Wow, is it that serious? Now I would mos def cause bodily harm to a skank over some lemonade jelly beans, but not neva over, well just watch the video)

lanrem (5 days ago)

The groom is not worth his salt...He should have jumped in after her in a heartbeat!
So much for, "I love you with all my soul"

(*With a puzzled look on my face* Ummm, no comment)

Yep, truly corny mofos. Forgive me white people for I have *proceeds to count on one hand*(oh the irony) some white friends, I think. Maybe its just me, but "White America" tickles the shit out of me. Do these mofo's really think that having Stretch-Armstrong and a MILF(Yes, indeed I would) as the next president is a master plan. Uggg, the stupidity and wrong post, lets get back to it shall we. Point of this rant, what "others" may find funny, I'm sure Lucy or Becky won't. In their minds, once again bite me for the generalization, the thought of Kyle or Steve busting their asses is no funny matter. And to that I say with a look of seriousness, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

The video in question, now tell me this isn't some funny shit.


LMAO, I don't see why she was so upset. If it was me, I would have forced the misses to throw some instant jello into that bitch, and made it a night to remember. Speaking of which,


And I'm out this bitch!!!!!!

Hotter Than A Wet Cooch...

Yo, whats up fam...Its truly, truly been a hot minute since, well since...I see that the BF has been boring the shyt out of ya with that lame sense of humor(laughing at my recent bout with that bytch of a virus)...OMG I have not nevah in my 20 plus years felt such pain...It was no fun at all...But now that I'm back, lets have a mothafucking party...

They say Misses what have you been doing...and to that I say a little of this...

Well lots of this...But hey when the DOCS force you to go to rehab for a week because of some stupid ass virus, you'll fall off the wagon pretty damn hard as well...And when I say fall, I mean run, jump, do some damn cartwheels off that bitch...To hell with being sober...Hell I can't even remember the last time I was sober, alls I know is that I didn't like it one damn bit...Straight B.S...Been getting a lot of time in at the ballpark as well...Bet y'all didn't know that I was into sports, trying to imagine my boojie ass out in the heat hitting some balls...Oh yes, I would walk to the ends of the earth for some balls...Balls, balls, and more balls, keep up...I've had some sex lately that I'm seriously ashamed of...Just nasty, crazy, insane fucking...Shit got so bad last night, afterwards I just yelled "I Fucking Hate You", got my keys, fuck clothes I didn't need em, and drove around town thinking of ways to hack this mofo without ending up in jail...Y'all laugh but I'm as serious as a heart-attack...I've been getting fucked so good, I straight up hate his ass right now...Did a little changing of the decor, nothing drastic...We now have a black accent wall in the master bedroom...It's starting to grow on me, though I was partial to the first...That's about all that has been going on with moi...It's been real lovely as usual fam...I've got a dinner date with Pee-On-My-Face Sierra, and the rest of the gang, so say a prayer for me...Nothing good ever comes out of these little dates, someone either wakes up in their office with honey and paper-clips stuck to their tiddies(bet ya can't guess who), or in my case cooks pancakes and shit in the nude...Will it ever end...

Fear Of Flying...

There are only two well maybe three things that the misses fear...God(I Luvs Jesus, believe it or not)...My Mother(Okay, my thing is this is the only chick that can hit me and I can do absolutely nothing about it...Any other broad can get it with the quickness)...And flying(Scared to death, do you hear me)...

Two Plane tickets...Delta Airlines(First Class Of Course)...$2154.00

Two weeks supply of Tylenol, Likka, and No-Doze for S.M...Uno Grande'

Everything that is possibly needed for the survival of a very spoiled puppy with her aunt S.M...Along with the current issue of "puppy power"...$375.00

Travel wardrobe...You don't want to know...

Nose piercing(Well I don't have it yet, but I will on Thursday. This is the only piercing that I have left to do.) $46

Get the hair fried, dyed(I am really getting the hair dyed...Back to black baby...Red makes me look mean as fugg, and everyone knows that I am a super nice person *looks around*), and flipped to the side...$128(Its worth it dammit)

Mani & Pedi...$75

Arguing with F as to why I need to bring 14 pairs of shoes with me on vacation...Priceless, or at least me "having my way" and the make-up sex was...

Anyways fam, I am going on vacation...Yes, yes, yes, words cannot express how excited I am...That is until I think about the five hour flight to Louisiana that we have...Straight up bullshit...Y'all just don't know...I mean I'm good through security, boarding, seating, hell even take-off...What kills me is that turbulence B.S...I can just pretty much imagine the scenario...

*Beep**And by this time I'm gonna be tipsy as hell* "Good afternoon this is your captain speaking...We will be experiencing a little TURBULENCE...please remain seated and buckle your seatbelts"
*still calm*
*still calm*
*plane begins to shake*
*a little stirred, but no biggie*
*plane shaking so terribly my glass of Moet falls to the floor**In my loud ghetto tone* "Aww, you know what, this is straight up bullshit...Turbulence my ass, I mean you ain't got to lie to me...Is this mothafucka going down...Don't lie to me bytch..."
"No Ma'am its just turbulence"
*Crying hysterically* "I'm too young to die, I have a puppy to take care of...Who's gonna take care of her if this bytch goes down...I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die...Oh lawd why"
And ETC!!! So yes fam, this shall be an interesting Friday... You know what I'm sick of...My mothafucking neighbors and their constant need to fuck...I know I can't talk about anyone, seeing how you can catch me riding F's dick at least 4 hours out of the day...But y'all just don't know...I've been over there at least six times within the past week to tell them mothafuckas to keep it down...Anyhoo, I will be on vacation until I feel like coming back...I promise to bring back souvenirs...Pictures at the most...Well thats it fam...I miss ya already...

Flyleaf – All Around Me


Update: Yes, Yes the Bytch is back...I probably won't speak on my trip until tomorrow and thats not a promise...Anyways today is our baby's 3 month birthday so we are gonna take her to the park and have a little picnic/party for her...Peace out Fam...

Phone Stalking/Seduction

So whats up peoples...How the hells was yo weekend...Mine, well the usual...You know the type of weekend that when I wake up there is at least three things that usually come out of my mouth..."Who the fuck are you?"..."This is some bullshit"...or "You've got to be kidding me"...Not so much of the "Who the fuck are you" since I've hanged up the hooker badge for F...More so of the other two...Anyways peoples ya gurl was/is being phone stalked...By this guy whom I messed around with like three years ago...

"Whats up mami how are you"
"Good papi, ¿Y tú?"
"Pretty good"
"Now I must ask this and please forgive me if I should know but exactly who am I speaking with(I had no clue)"
"This is Pedro(his name isn't really Pedro, I'm just using this because he's Mexican, and we all know at least one Mexican named Pedro)"
"Not ringing a bell, but obviously you know me...May I ask how?"
"Don't you remember we had a thing a few years ago"
"Now I do...What can I do for you"
"I was thinking that we could you know talk, catch up"
"Why"
"I think that what we had wasn't meant to be just a one-time thing"
"Like hell it wasn't"
"Why"
"Baby I really don't know how you got my number, to be honest with you I don't give a damn...But we boned, thats it...Not nothing shall come from it...Besides it was like three years ago...Trust me I wasn't thinking about your ass...Lets see, I've gotten divorced...Went on a fuck-spree, and met my future ex-hubby(Just kidding babe if you read this)...So as you can see what we had was just that, a ride & goodbye..."
"You don't mean that"
"Like hell I don't...Besides it could never work between us...I'm trying to get a Black Card...You don't even have a green card...I don't mean to demean you or anything...Its just that I am a very, very, picky woman, not only when its comes to myself...But also any man that I spend time with..."
"Oh I see, but I still think that if you give me a chance"
"(I cut that mofo off mid-sentence)THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK!!! Do us both a favor and lose my gat damn number"
*Click*

So yes fam this was the first convo of four...I've always knew that I had that stalker-type puzzay, but I didn't think that the effects would still be there three years later...I'm making progress though...Seduction, Seduction, yeah I'm gonna discuss this a little later this week...Be looking for it fam...Well thats it World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Update: F sent me this video a few minutes ago...I agree Mr. Ja Rule, baby its ya body...Cause if we went by that face of yours, I wouldn't touch you with a broom-stick...And F darling......................boy stop it...

I'm A Movement By Myself...

But I'm a force when were together. -Fabolous

Guten Morgen(Good Morning in German) fam...How the hell are you...Me, well I'm sleepless in Laramie...Why, more on this later...How was your weekend, mine, awesome until this morning...

Friday June 27, 2008: Started out as usual, but I was floating on cloud nine, for this would be the day in which we celebrate our love(Not that we don't any other day)... Went to work as usual, left early to change into the after-hour attire.... Make it home only to be greeted by the mans in a onesee *addressing the puzzled looks (a onesee is this two in one pajama set that is usually worn by toddlers)* and one of those Dave Crockett raccoon hats...I shit you not... "Baby please stop playing, let me inside, I've got to get ready"..."Nope"...By this time I realized what was going on..."Okay just give me my clothes and I will go over to Sierra's place to get ready"...He hands me this big ass box, nothing looked familiar, but no complaints from me..."I will pick you up in two hours"...Is what he said as I left the place...*mumbling* "looking like a gigantic toddler"..."What TF I thought I wouldn't see you until sometime next month"..."Hahaha, nah just three days, I need to borrow your restroom for a bit. I'm not allowed into my house for the present moment." "What!!!" "No, its nothing like what you're thinking, I guess F has something planned out and doesn't want me to see right now."..........After a few drinks and almost a couple hours later, I hear that knock on the door, let the excitement begin...

We drove to Cheyenne, touched down at Red Lobster... I gave him the are you serious look(Not that I'm too boojie for Red Lobster, but he knows that I hate that fucking place, the bitches gave me food poisoning and I refuse to eat there again)... He proceeded to get out of the car but paused and burst out into laughter..."Had you shook there for a minute huh babe"..."You really think that me almost dying is funny"..."Yep"..."Asshole" It was all in good fun...

Left Cheyenne, touched down at our place once again...I've got this what the fuck is going on look... "Baby I've got a confession, I really didn't have anything planned for this weekend. I thought that if we drove around for a bit than something would come to me."... "Why didn't you say that shit in the first place, I could have been out doing something other than riding around in a mothafucking car all damn night."..."I'm sorry"... By this time I'm storming to the front door... "Baby hold up, are you mad?"...In a very sarcastic tone..."No not at all honey, lets just get inside so I can lay down. I'm very tired"... Opens the door to what I'm my mind looked nothing like the place in which we called home...This humongous smile comes across my face... "Sorry babe, the chef needed a couple more hours to prepare, so the only genius idea that I could come up with at the time was to drive around."..."Is that so."

I bet you're thinking I had some ostrich feet or some shit like that to eat...Nope, a cheeseburger...I deal with that shit for a living, and sometimes a girl just wants some normalcy...Finished up our dinner, said our thank-yous and goodbyes to Mr. Douglas Benson(the chef)...Took the party to the bedroom... There was a single black sheet on the bed, and atop was red rose petals... The red on black contrast was beautiful... "Why don't we relax a bit"...By this time I've had a couple bottles of wine, so I was already relaxed... "Whatever you say babe"... I look over into the tub and the water was BLACK with the red rose petals... "Fuck you whyte boy, I ain't getting into that shyt, fucking water is blacker than me."..."*laughing* Don't worry its just bath salts"..."Yeah okay but if my azz comes out a half a shade darker than sexy chocolate, were gonna fight. I ain't bullshitting biggums"... Laughed and talked for what seemed like hours... I fell asleep in LOVES arms that night...

Saturday June 28, 2008: Woke up with a damn headache, cooked breakfast for, and ate with F. Went back to bed, stayed in bed until like 4 p.m., we finally got up off our asses... F gets this bright idea to go pet shopping, and that we did... It was love at first sight...She(we named her Boston, she's a pit-bull/terrier mix) was so beautiful...Got her home, and whats the first thing this BITCH does, shits on our mothafucking carpet...But I am a forgiving person...A couple hours rolls by, we decide to go to bed...Gots to go say our Amens the next day...Boston has a completely different idea in mind...Crying & Whining all night must be whats hot this summer...

Didn't go to church Sunday...Lets just say I didn't have the strength...Currently I'm nursing these bags under my eyes... Boston is passed out in the living room... Along with F... I just want to go to sleep...But I can't seeing how today is Monday, and you know what that means, WORK... I've already said my little keep me near the cross prayer, cause I can just feel myself slipping into that ruthless bitch mood... And we all know what that means, the employees will suffer... Well thats its world... I'LL HOLLA!!!

Trouble In Paradise...

So I know that you want to know how the fabulousness that is T's weekend went...Don't worry I won't make you wait any longer...Friday night was the Pleasure Party...The host(not SM, we just used her place) was kinda lame, so I grew bored with it quickly...Bounced the spot, took my black ass home and passed out...Saturday morning, we filled up the tanks and hit the road...Maybe like an hour & half later we made it to our destination, Denver... Had a quick breakfast...Let the shopping begin, matter of fact I was hit on(at least I think so, SM was like "She's just complimenting your jeans", yeah right...Of course I think that everyone is hitting on me, and the chick was looking quite nice, yep she could get it) in a boutique... We grew a little hungry from the shopping and by now it was around six, so it was time for dinner...Lets see, we dined at Restaurant Kevin Taylor...Nothing exciting happened, just a bunch of drunks sitting around talking about SEX, MONEY, and MEN, you know the usual...Finished up, put on our naughty girl smiles, along with the freak-um dresses and touched down at ENVYNUDE...OMG, I love this place, free drinks and so much more...Got relaxed and then the texting began...I sent the mans a text stating my status, a few minutes later I received one, so I'm like cool its just him...I was wrong...One of my exes(I say one because I was texting two of them last night) sends me this text asking me if I miss him...So I replied back with the "Nah, but I do miss those juicy pussy lips of yours", this little war went on for like 20 minutes...Moving right along shall we...Apparently, this motivated me to send a friendly "whats up to the second ex" which quickly turned into text sex...Which is shocking because I thought the man hated my ass, that or he was horny...I woke up this morning, checked the Curve to see if there was any missed calls/text and immediately the words OMG came out of my mouth...The Mans walks in, he was already up getting ready, and I told him what happened...And pissed he became, but not really pissed at the word texts(cause he knows that I'm not going anywhere), more so the picture...Yes, I sent a pic of the lady miss to the second ex and vice versa...In my defense I stated "Its not like he hasn't seen it before", bad idea...So now I'm in the dog house...Its actually not that bad in here, I've gotten some hugs and kisses, even a foot massage...But I can tell by his eyes that he's still a little salty about the situation...So imma just do what I do best, wrap my lips around that 8 inch dick of his and make it disappear...Magic I tell you...Well thats it world...I'LL HOLLA

Say It Now...

Since my drankin buddy is passed out from numerous coontini's, my man is still at work along with my peeps, I have nothing else to do besides watch The Beyonce' Experience for the fifth time, drank myself into an oblivion and blog. Now before I get out whatever it is that I'm going to blog about today, I just want to tell Ms. Winehouse this.

F U Man, you have been replaced with a new singing sensation, and though it hurts me to say this, she's hotter. True, Back To Black was in heavy rotation for a hot minute, until your ass started singing racist hymns and shit. I was cool with all the drankin and drug use, but for this no forgiveness shall be given *SMH* Why Amy, that's okay cause DUFFY is now leading the Real Music Movement on my Zune.

Ahhh, this is crazy, for a woman who has an opinion on everything, I have nothing to talk about. So here's what I'm gonna do, stalk a few favorite sites for a while, and when I return I promise to have some interesting thought to speak on. Wait just a little while longer, for I shall return....

*Insert Long Pause*

And Viola I'm back... Did you miss me?... Well I found some very interesting things. Lets see, shall I talk about Fitty & His Baby Mama...
Nah cause everytime I see this man I just want to get NAKED. True the mofo looks like the Guerilla of his unit...But that BODY of his... I'm just gonna stay away. So maybe I will discuss the War...
Nah, I'll save my political views for another time... Now just maybe I will discuss Exes And The Need/Want To Continually Speak With Them.

Sounds good to me, but where do I begin, umm lets see. As many of you may know I was once married, crazy I know, the thought of my very flirtatious, ass/penis groping of random men, lying to get free dranks ass, being MARRIED is hilarious. Probably think that Jesus himself would've slapped me at the alter for the mockery, but the lady T-Bone is very much committed when a commitment is present.

Lets tackle this topic a little shall we... This will be brief, cause I've got to find something to eat before I pass out from dehydration. I guess an all liquid diet only works if you drink things other than alcohol, but I digress...

Yes, I was married, and did my ex husband communicate with his exes, yes. Did he lie about it, yes. Was I cool with him doing this, no, but this was only a minor glitch in our entire marriage. Thing is, I was a little salty about him speaking with the chicks, but the lying about is what made matters worst. Whats a marriage if there's no trust besides constant second guessing. Was this the reason that I decided to play past ways with him... It was definitely part of the reason...

Lets see, it was the lying on both parts, the cheating on both parts, the frustration of both parts, that quickly turned into the hating of each other... Hate is such a strong word, lets just say a STRONG DISLIKE... Did we try, damn right, but it just wasn't enough. My mind had already made up my heart's mind. So I left, it was just too much for me. Now do I still communicate with him, not really... Its more on the lines of "Hey Bitch, How Ya Doing", and keeps it moving. I just don't understand how so much anger could be present after its all said and done with a person in which you loved. Maybe its that you hate the fact that you once loved/still do this person and just don't know what to do with these emotions but ship them into the sea of anger... I don't know, this is just my thoughts on it...

Well I'm about to hit up Wendy's for one of them spicy chicken sammaches, So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!


P.S. I tried to do a remake of this Janet Jackson performance on the mans... and well...


We didn't really have the set-up like she did, so it was me climbing atop of his ass on the kitchen counter... well I'm not as flexible as I thought I was, slipped, fell on my knees, but played that shit off like I was trying to seduce him into hitting it from the back. But I do have that riding part down to a T. Good Times!

What A Day...

OMG, I seriously had one of them days at work to make a bitch say FUCK THIS!!! So I walk into the spot humming the Dora The Explorer Theme(I was watching it before work), and the minute I hit the door, I gets pummeled by at least 10 complaints about this guy who won't shut the fuck up about the war. Now if there's one thing that I know, its not to EVER talk about politics and religion at work. I found this out the hard way. So after about 20 minutes of intense debating with this ass clown as to why Obama is the most worthy candidate, I fled the scene, not because I wanted to(I STANS for a good debate) but because I had to. I Had to make a few phone calls. 2 O'Clock rolls around, I start to get excited cause for once no one called in and everyone is on time. I let out a big sigh of relief, only to regret that shit minutes later. So we just hired a new cook and today was his first day of training, so far so good right, thing is, the current cook who was suppose to do the training all of a sudden took sick after I laughed at him and told him that the Lakers suck. Well they do shit, its not like I was lying to the sonofabitch. Anyways I bargained with him to stay cause if he didn't do the shit my black ass is the only other person certified for the job. And besides, I was looking, smelling, and feeling like a million fucking bucks so no way I was gonna be on a hot ass line cooking for eight hours. Yep I was only lying to myself. You know it seems like every time I actually wear my hair down to work I end up cooking, same as with whenever I wear white, I ends up slanging dishes. Well damnit, a bitch gets tired of neutral fucking colors and having my hair in buns. Back to story, the beginning of the shift with, we are gonna call him Semi, was all cool. I showed him basically everything that he needed to know to survive a shift of cooking with me, I asked if he understood all of this, yes was the answer I received so cool. About four or five hours into shift we start to get busy, so I'm like move your ass Semi, we have at least 10 orders that we need to get out like yesterday, this is another reason why I don't like training I don't have the patience. This mothafucka gets slower, and I kinda lose my cool. Aside from the fact that I have been speaking Spanglish for hours upon hours cause this mothafucka doesn't know a drop of English, I was really feigning for a shot of something and cigarette, he was only making matters worst. Oh but I survived, 10 O'Clock rolled around and I sent that mothafucka home, showing him the areas that needed to be cleaned would have only extended my 10 hour shift to 20 and I, just NO!!! I begin cleaning the shit myself so I can get the fuck out of there, and low and behold one of The Mans Exes showed up to talk once again. In case you didn't know this is one of the Bitches that I was talking about in the last post, and now was not a good time for her and I to talk. She's on this you're black and don't deserve such a fine(as in upstanding, not sexy, though that he is) white man bullshit. We've had arguments that turned into me slapping the Bitch down many, many times before, but apparently that wasn't enough. She's been basically slandering me lately, on some real bullshit, and I've been letting that shit in one ear and out the other cause anyone who knows me, knows that all of the shit isn't true, but enough is enough damnit, and trust me I let the bitch know that, but in a very professional manner considering the fact that I was still at work and my employees really look up to me. Ended that shit real quick, got everything that I needed to done, and made it home in Mach 5 speed. It was just one of them days, all I can do is shake my head and be glad that its over. Now if only I could sit on Lenny Kravitz face, that would make it so much better right now, but since he isn't here and I don't feel like explaining to my baby why there's pussy juice all over Lenny's face, I'll just sit on his. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Fear Of Commitment....

Yes, I'm working on it. Normally by this time I would have found some kind of way to sabotage the relationship that I'm currently in because, well I don't have a good enough excuse. "I don't see myself being with you any longer," is what two of the exes heard, but all the while I was thinking "he's smothering me, I NEED MY SPACE." Fucked up, I know, but Men today just don't give me the want & need to want & need them, well besides my man of course, but more on him later. I mean most of the men that I have been with serious with, a total of three to be exact, were decent, hell one wowed me enough to marry him, but as I look back, neither one stood a chance. Men today are too soft, irresponsible, scared, immature, confused and etc. Lets elaborate on each of my convictions a little shall we.....

Too Soft- Kanye 'Nuff Said

Irresponsible- I was just on one of my favorite sites O Hell Nawl, so many comments on the "Behold A Lady" thread touched me but a single moms cry shook me to the core. I mean what ever happened to society(Men, This is a Man's World Isn't It) standing by women, praising her because she bears life, loving her, protecting her, respecting her, lifting her higher, the words bitch and hoe wouldn't have even been uttered to a notoriously known whore, Why you say, out of the respect and fact that she is a Woman. The "Children Having Children" rate would be diminished out of the fact that Fathers would actually play a part in their lives, therefore relinquishing the phenomena of "Single Moms." But whats in the past is only a mere reflection of the present. To actually have men "Step Up To The Plate" is a little too much to ask now is it, they would rather degrade women in musical lyrics and million dollar videos(true we allow this to occur, but as men, supposed leaders, a line should be drawn), impregnate us only to leave when the words are uttered, and etc... Don't get me wrong there may be a lot of men out there in which this has absolutely nothing to do with, but pretty much the majority of men nowadays fall into at least one of the categories. Moving on now shall we....

Scared- Now this is just my observation of Black Men, being that I'm black, and the only "outside of race" relationship that I've been in is my current one. I once asked a male friend of mine what is it about other race women that attracts you to them more than a black woman? The answer I received was shocking and in my opinion just insane, "See with a black woman, more work is involved, its harder to please her. Now with chicks of other races, they settle, happier with what you give them and you don't have to work so hard to get the ass." What!?!?! I've never... Don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against interracial dating but the thought of a black man not wanting anything to do with a black woman because she isn't "easy" in all aspects of a relationship makes me a little salty.

Immature- I think my notion above pretty much sums up this one too.

Confused And Etc- I'm filing the DL situation under this one. Men, Men, Men, please decide on as to what it is exactly that you want. Stop making us suffer from the lies, pain, and in some cases diseases because either you're to scared to admit to this or ashamed. Either way, please stop. So many of my sisters are dying because of your pride, and your ego's, when are you going to realize this? If you are man enough to get low, than be man enough to let us know something, please, for the sake of the continuation of "Beautiful Black People", and all others.

Now that I have given a little more insight as to why I usually bash all of my relationships, let me just say that this was never a problem to me, because I had my reasons. Now being in my current relationship, for once, I'm willing to work on this little flaw that I have. For once I am seeing that there is hope for the male species out there, and this is one relationship I won't be ending because of my fear of commitment. So for those who were wondering why I Bitch-slapped him this morning, well, cause I can damnit... Had to let him know who the boss is at all times, work, play, shit it don't matter. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!

I'm Not Eating Fo Dayz

Well I was goin talk about what random shit I was goin get into this weekend, BUT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE SON...





OMG, Is all I can say. I spotted this shit over at TheBeatniks. This really fucked up my equilibrium. Fat mothafucka!!! Looking like a turtle with tiddies, and Isaac Hayes on steroids. I can't do this shit today.

Stay In School

I know that I promised to post pics and details of Friday nights shenanigans, but the pics are terrible, and the details are vague. But in the spirit of fuckery, I do have an interesting story that I will share.

So.... last night we decided to go to a bar, we don't have clubs here in Laramie, just bars, and a shit-ton of them. Everythang was everythang, just me and the girls hanging getting drunk off of countless shots of Patron', and out of no where this thing (I'm not even gonna say man) approached me with the craziest pick-up line I've ever heard. I have to say brother was banging, but I have something even better at home. So anyways homie came up to me, and this is exactly how the convo went.


Homie- You remind me of my mom.
Me- Umm excuse me
Homie-You remind me of my mom.
Me- Is that right, How so?
Homie- Cause baby you're beauty has been whooping my ass all night long.
Me- *Staring* Are you serious?
Homie- Yeah baby, when you goin let me hit that?
Me- *leaned over to the girlfriend* Did this mothafucka say that I've been beating his ass with my looks?
S.M.- Yeah, I'm still stuck on the whole moms thing.


So... by this time, S.M. and I are dying laughing, Mr. Wright walks up to buy me a drank (we were on some, "lets play strangers at the bar, and then go home and have wild kinky sex on the lawn then move it to the pool table for the finale", type shit), I gladly accept. Seeing all this go down, homie decides to get all emotional and starts to talk shit. He really just made matters worst for himself, by this time tears were running down my face, but I was finally calm enough to address the situation.

Me- First of all I'm not completely sure that I'm comfortable with you saying that you want to hit anything, seeing that you obviously have some kind of freaky thoughts of incest shit that you need to discuss with your mom. Second, I'm not that drunk, hell to be honest with you, ya quickly sobered me up. And third, now this is the most important one so listen carefully, get what we in the land of no bullshit like to call, THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!

UGGHH!!!!! I have no tolerance for ignant mofo's especially men, stay in school damnit, just stay in school!!!