Almost...

So I paid my taxes (yay)...But I have the flu (Boo)...

If You Didnt Know, Well Now You Do...

Well fam, this is gonna be the last post for about a month, reason being is that I just finished moving back to LA, and dammit I need a break...Anyways there is well over a hundred posts here to keep ya entertained in our, and I say our because well the other half of this blog is on a hiatus as well...What's her reason, I have no clue...Peace out fam, and see you soon...

Blunts Galore...

Thats right bitches, y'all know what time it is...I'm high as hell right now, thanks Buddha...anyways as usual, you know the deal...this post will be random as hell, but very entertaining I hope...Lets get started shall we...

I realize now that I have some questionable ways...for instance, I don't too much care for fish, but give me some california rolls or sashimi and you've just possibly bought yourself a B.J.

I swore off Tequila on my birthday(long story), tell me why I'm on my third margarita extra rita right now...

To the Catholic kids at the school across the street from my house, I apologize sincerely, I honestly didn't/don't mean to scream the Lords name in vain every morning when you guys are out there on recess...In my defense, I was always taught to speak my mind...

Nia Long is sooooo fucking hot...

Who doesn't love the year 69

speaking of 69, I loves it

I use to eat crayons, which explains my love of hot candle wax dripping on my body, or maybe not, lol

I'm not as boojie as some may think, for I love hamburger helper...yeah I fucks with the glove, or hand, whatever the fuck the mascot is on the box...just add meat, milk and water...sounds like one of my sexual experiences gone wrong huh?

I stans for Reggae...

90% of the words out my mouth are vulgar, fuck yeah...see I told you so...

Dead people scare me...

I'm sooo sick of the word "swagger"...but hey if you got it flaunt it

my fatt ass need to go on a diet asap...I'm starting to love food more than sex, and thats not a good look in my book...Cause, well I'm a freak, but hey maybe I should involve food into......fuck that my sheets are expensive, something has got to give...

Justify my thug

I'm 22 so it only makes sense to have 22 inch rims on my baby...Oh wait, I don't think you guys have ever seen her... well I'm gonna post some pics...





Oh yes, she's sooo sexy, her name is Nina btw...

anyways back to the randomness, there are some dick-matized chicks here in oh well you know where I reside, anyways a mothafucka can eat my cooch from the back with the entire shut if down posse in his mouth and I still wouldn't buy him no damn house...Dumb hoes...

I can't stand Beyonces' ass, but I totally respect her...Her shit is fierce...

T-pain makes me want to sew my pussy lips together, honestly why is this mothafucka still in the gene-pool...fucking coon

Angel Lola said she can get a Bentley from a blowjob...so you're telling me that men are buying hoes Bentleys over some head, if thats the case, why are you still "modeling" in rap videos...Bitch we're in the middle of a recession, yo ass might and I say might get a remote control car out of one of these men, but I totally doubt a Bentley...

Pussy stocks are at a all time low right now...Thanks Angel Lola...

And on that note fam, time to light up again, I'm out...

P.S. weed makes me sooo horny so lets trade places...

AAagghhh...

Currently in the process of moving, be back soon fam...

Humph...

I LIVE BY THIS SHIT!!!...Nuff Said



Did I eva tell ya how much I love that bitch that goes by the name of Keyshia Cole...She's ghetto as fuck, but can sing her ass off...Anyways dis here track by the name of "Thought You Should Know", off her new hot ass album "A Different Me" is fiya...Enjoy...





And with all randomness I present "Go On Boy"...I don't know fam, but for some reason this is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts...Also I've decided to end this year with "The List"...Basically a compilation of my fav posts of the year...I'm lazy, this I know...

Don't Ask Why

High Times...

I'm currently higher than a giraffe's ass right now, so I will admit that this post will absolutely be a total random one...whatever comes to mind is what you get...Firstly, I was asked a few days ago "Do you feel small standing next to oceans"...I will admit, I basically blew it off cause the shit didn't make sense at the time, but after giving it much thought, I would have to say no, I don't...maybe its cause I'm too fucking conceited...

I can't think of any "Leo's" in my family...Gonna do some investigating...Live for the moment, don't hold onto stuff...Fuck pink, where's the purple...Ultimate orgasm, I mean really is there such a thing...And if so, I truly wouldn't want to experience it...Having a regular O for me is already unsafe enough as it is due to me wailing my arms around frantically with the thunder thighs shaking so much a bitch can get a reading off the richter scale...No gracias on that ultimate orgasm stuff...

Odd(numbers), like why is it odd?...its a typical number...but I guess because the whole couple factor isn't there that makes it odd...Joining the mile-high club was so worth me pulling a damn muscle...You only live once...Believe it or not, I would mos def take my wants over my needs...Call it immaturity or whatever, but being "satisfied" is sooo fucking appeasing...I mean we all have needs, but actually getting what you want has a bit more power over your person...I know personally I feel as though I've achieved something anytime my wants are fulfilled...Like the definite (at the moment) satisfaction...

I've had a few and I mean few booty calls/one night stands...Fuck, and goodluck...I'm such a heartbreaker...Got to get my truck registration...My first love, a boy by the name of Kirby who had a big dick...We were in the first grade, I know, I know, I became a whore before I learned Algebra...Don't judge me,lmao...Whisper in my ear and I am done, a total turn on...I love taking pictures cause these bitches wanna be me...I love calling YOU daddy...Seriously why are there all these unnecessary letters in the word "queued"...All you need is the Q and the D...I mean really, whoever came up with that word must have been trying to compensate for something...Just a Q and a D, don't forget the apostrophe, jackasses...

LMAO...

Yeah this is some funny shyt...Kinda reminds me of how my drunk ass stumbled to bed "the morning after"...Classic...

Oldie But Goodie

Since I feel like being a bum today, lets just post some ignance.



O-Mothafucking-Le'. But not every one stans for our mischeif :(



But then again, no one on the corner has swagga like us.



*Shudders* Yep, so lets play a little game of "Wheres The Bitches", kinda like Wheres Waldo, but more sexier. Your job is to locate the two infamous bitches of this blog in the first gif. Don't worry, I will leave a clue, we both were dancing, good luck peoples.

Wait...Wait...Wait...

You mean to tell me we have done a hundred of these mofos all ready...Oh no man this is a joke...No way possible we are at a hundred and haven't got not nah, not one e-mail, fax, stamped letter saying that we should shut down house or the feds goin do an invasion...LMAO, yo fam, today is the day like David Spade, and tonight is the night like Betty Wright...Never thought that we would see the day, but your oh so fabulous bitches that despise snitches are proud to say we made it to 100 mothafucking posts(though I did most of the work, that other heffa came in at the end, and expecting some cut)...To be honest I really don't know why we are suppose to be celebrating this, but apparently to Blogger and Bloggers this is a big deal...I honestly don't give a fuck, but we goin go ahead and keep the peace...Now, if you don't know how the misses and the gang celebrates or maybe even just forgot, let me school ya a lil bit...There will be lots of drankin...and I do mean lots, I have the tolerance of a bull...Lots of smoking, no need to elaborate, and whatever the hell else comes to mind(mainly just watch youtube videos and laugh our asses off)...In honor of such a joyous event, why not play a clip from one of my fav D.V.D's...Oh and no victory will be complete without thanking the people behind the scenes of this awful movie of a blog we got going...So yes Fam, thanks a million, for without your, what are we up to averaging like four views a day, this blog would be lamer than The Pussycat Dolls...HOLLA!!!

Breaking Mothafuckin News

*trying to compose myself, cause its not funny, but then again just imagining what Really happened in the Wal-Mart(is the devil) parking lot with the misses and the little lady that just about totaled her big boy Caddy, is getting the best of me. So I receive a call about lets say about three hours ago of who I thought was the misses, and was, but the pissed off version. Man, when I tell you this is not one chick you want to piss off, believe that shit. You know how those Louisianans are with that voodoo and shit, I don't fucks with em, lol. So, I pick up the phone and all I hear is her yelling "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it", over and over again. I was like who the fuck are you talking about and who hit what. Still, "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it". By this time I was ready to hang up thinking that she was having a bad trip off the weed or something until she came out with the slurred version of what really happened. "The bitch fucking hit my truck, I'm in so much pain right now", and immediately fear just shot through my spine. I was thinking, because of the way she was talking, that she was hurt or possibly severely injured, but umm no. Thing is, from what I was told she was shopping in Wal-Mart only to come out to half of her truck just smashed. I honestly don't know how this is possible, I mean its not like she drives one of those Barbie doll cars, so whoever it was must have had like one of those ol school military hummers that can drive through buildings and shit. I've got the feeling she's gonna do something crazy tonight in retaliation, and I of course will be the one bailing her punk ass out. Lets rewind back to the good ol days(about a week ago) when life was good and the misses watched "I Love The Fishes" for the first time, enjoy.

The Morning After...

Halloween of course...What y'all thought I forgot about that shit...Hells no, lets just say a bitch was looking rather rough...I mean ROUGH...I really don't too much remember that night, but heres a quote(text) from the BFF as to what exactly she saw...

*Insert at least 15 prior texts*

"Wow thats classic...Sort of like for Halloween your fat ass got so messed up...Fucking woke up in the closet with makeup smeared, hair everyone, one heel on, fucking fishnets stuck to hangers and shit...Bitch yo ass was looking like the joker off batman and shit...Fucking Jose and Spliff fucked yo ass royally...Shit I can't talk though...I burned my damn hand on them bricks from the fireplace, didn't feel that shit til the next day...Apparently a bitch got thirsty and decided to sit on the counter...Fucking woke up with a glass of OJ in one hand and a leg on the sink...Good mothafucking times bitch...Thats why you're in my will."


Random: I'm Such A Fatty

Somebody Told Me...

"Misses, just live your life...This world is too fucked up as it is, don't relish on the good ol days...Tomorrow ain't promised bitch. To say fuck you/it/them/him/her and actually mean that shit is not only a sentence enhancer but a natural stress reliever and on occasion an afrodisiac...Do you bitch, and mothafuck the haters"

Take a wild guess as to who spoke this to me...All I ask of you is to just live your life...

I Got 5 On It

Yo, peoples, I know this is a bit late, but better than never I always say. In-te-hoo, this will be short, there will only be post from myself the upcoming week. The misses has mid-terms or some shit like that, so get ready. Why don't we kick this off with a bang, I shall be doing a little of this myself tonight, enjoy.

WTF

So, right now I have a headache from hell...Maybe its from crashing from the damn sugar rush I get because of the munchies...I need a new hobby...Anyhoo, this is one of my fav videos to watch post-smoketivity...Still to this day, its hilarious...

Addiction...

"You smell like likka and failure"...LMAO @ the inside joke...Anyhoo fam, My Sistah Of Fuggery threatened to disown me if I didn't get back on my grind with this blogging thing...So to keep a happy home, I'm gonna do my best to at least put something out there more than once a week...Now what does the misses know about more than dack, likka, and ganja...Music...And what is the misses feeling right now via music...Ryan Leslie's "Addiction"...Here it is fam, enjoy *dodging bullets from SOF*

Flashing Lights...

So the misses has been cheating her ass off lately. I was SUPPOSE to do my comeback last night but instead was lured to that deadly sexy condo of hers with the promise of "la" and of course a bountiful pantry of moonpies and shyt. Thats exactly what happened "little poison for the system", some good shit. If ever given the chance everyone should get blazed with this chick, its hilarious. I remember us laying on the couch watching the Kanye West "Flashing Lights" video and looking in amazement like is this the REAL video. For some strange reason, the video seemed like it was 6 hours, the misses had a question for every damn thing that happened, and I've never ate so much garbage a day in my life. I woke up looking around like why are these fritos stuck to my tiddies...In-Te-Hoo, I think I'm still a bit blazed, I told y'all that was some good shit. Here it is close to 1 and I still feel the need analyze everydamnthing. She's cheating I tell you, so when I come to my senses, this broad is going down. Toodles.

Updated Version:
In my opinion there are two types of "freaks". Number one being a good fuck, no a decent fuck. Just the shit to get your rocks off, but no wedding is in tow, comprende', keep up. Next we have the fuck(freak) that is a bit elevated from the typical. This is the type of freak who is so sure of themselves and trust me it shows. This type of freak can take dick til the cows come home, and the pussy will still be in tact. If ever given the chance to experience this type of freak, one may become infatuated, and all that good shit, and settle if you will. Now me being the freak of freaks know that there is really no need to brag, for the proof is in the pudding. Now I must say that the misses did make a valid point about single sex, and tied sex. Its true that single sex is way more kinkier if you will than any sex that you may have with some random. Lets just call it emotional sex, at least we agree on something. Back to it, Bitchy and demands nothing but the best, yeah you can say that. I will school your punk ass if need be, "deeper and harder, come on its okay to fuck me", that type of shit. So lets get this list started now that I have stated the facts.

Why do we have to go to Jamaica everydamnyear? *question of the girlfriends* Not really wanting to tell them the truth about why women REALLY love Jamaica, and I personally cause of the Jamaican black snake. You can't really consider yourself in a three-some until you've had two of these hung-drung mofo's. Oh the memories, last year my little private show took place on the beach. Two chocolaty bros, endless drinks, and hours of fucking. I must say I was looking for their kids most of the time, cause I just couldn't get enough of the way that the juices tasted. Yeah good times, matter of fact I think its time for our annual vacation.

So I have this box full of sexual goodies. I.E. dildos, cock rings, anal beads, lube, clit massagers, knock off viagra(just to keep the party going), and much more. Safety word, prison, it takes alot for me to give in and say prison, but this last chick in which I envy had me saying it within the first 15. Not never did I think I would be in a situation of the sort with any chick, I used to always think to myself whats the point, I couldn't possibly get any kind of satisfaction from this. Lets just say that college life changed my whole perspective.

You know if you really looked hard enough, and actually knew what to look for, ya might be able to find videos of my skills. I know the misses is goin be pissed about that, I loves her and all but this is a competition. Call it a low-blow if ya want, but I shall not lose. Toodles

Battle Of Le Freaks...

To be honest I don't even know why I'm entertaining this but umm your eyes are not playing tricks on you. The misses and I decided that this week we are going to play a little game of who's the freakiest of the freaks. So instead of the usual, there will be nothing but random posts of naughty adventures from each of us. I don't even know why she believes in that ice pile of a heart that she has that she's mastered pleasure such as I, but hey we can all dream. I mean the fat boy has had that ass dick-whipped for a long ass time now, she's young as fuck, we all know that with age comes wisdom, and that is not just a figure of speech, and blah blah blah. Who's the master of their domain(of course its gonna be me, I fucks with the best of them), you be the judge. I'm outty.

Love Bites...

So, I got the exclusive on what the misses has in store for us this week, and alls I can say is Love Bites, enjoy.

Hold The Phone

Gat Dammit...See, I told that broad she had to do the post on Wednesday...And lo and behold it isn't done...Sorry fam, I'm gonna go strangle my BFF, and force her to do the post...She probably won't do it today, cause work is kicking that ass right now, but it will get done, trust...