Since I feel like being a bum today, lets just post some ignance.
O-Mothafucking-Le'. But not every one stans for our mischeif :(
But then again, no one on the corner has swagga like us.
*Shudders* Yep, so lets play a little game of "Wheres The Bitches", kinda like Wheres Waldo, but more sexier. Your job is to locate the two infamous bitches of this blog in the first gif. Don't worry, I will leave a clue, we both were dancing, good luck peoples.
You mean to tell me we have done a hundred of these mofos all ready...Oh no man this is a joke...No way possible we are at a hundred and haven't got not nah, not one e-mail, fax, stamped letter saying that we should shut down house or the feds goin do an invasion...LMAO, yo fam, today is the day like David Spade, and tonight is the night like Betty Wright...Never thought that we would see the day, but your oh so fabulous bitches that despise snitches are proud to say we made it to 100 mothafucking posts(though I did most of the work, that other heffa came in at the end, and expecting some cut)...To be honest I really don't know why we are suppose to be celebrating this, but apparently to Blogger and Bloggers this is a big deal...I honestly don't give a fuck, but we goin go ahead and keep the peace...Now, if you don't know how the misses and the gang celebrates or maybe even just forgot, let me school ya a lil bit...There will be lots of drankin...and I do mean lots, I have the tolerance of a bull...Lots of smoking, no need to elaborate, and whatever the hell else comes to mind(mainly just watch youtube videos and laugh our asses off)...In honor of such a joyous event, why not play a clip from one of my fav D.V.D's...Oh and no victory will be complete without thanking the people behind the scenes of this awful movie of a blog we got going...So yes Fam, thanks a million, for without your, what are we up to averaging like four views a day, this blog would be lamer than The Pussycat Dolls...HOLLA!!!
*trying to compose myself, cause its not funny, but then again just imagining what Really happened in the Wal-Mart(is the devil) parking lot with the misses and the little lady that just about totaled her big boy Caddy, is getting the best of me. So I receive a call about lets say about three hours ago of who I thought was the misses, and was, but the pissed off version. Man, when I tell you this is not one chick you want to piss off, believe that shit. You know how those Louisianans are with that voodoo and shit, I don't fucks with em, lol. So, I pick up the phone and all I hear is her yelling "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it", over and over again. I was like who the fuck are you talking about and who hit what. Still, "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it". By this time I was ready to hang up thinking that she was having a bad trip off the weed or something until she came out with the slurred version of what really happened. "The bitch fucking hit my truck, I'm in so much pain right now", and immediately fear just shot through my spine. I was thinking, because of the way she was talking, that she was hurt or possibly severely injured, but umm no. Thing is, from what I was told she was shopping in Wal-Mart only to come out to half of her truck just smashed. I honestly don't know how this is possible, I mean its not like she drives one of those Barbie doll cars, so whoever it was must have had like one of those ol school military hummers that can drive through buildings and shit. I've got the feeling she's gonna do something crazy tonight in retaliation, and I of course will be the one bailing her punk ass out. Lets rewind back to the good ol days(about a week ago) when life was good and the misses watched "I Love The Fishes" for the first time, enjoy.
Halloween of course...What y'all thought I forgot about that shit...Hells no, lets just say a bitch was looking rather rough...I mean ROUGH...I really don't too much remember that night, but heres a quote(text) from the BFF as to what exactly she saw...
*Insert at least 15 prior texts*
"Wow thats classic...Sort of like for Halloween your fat ass got so messed up...Fucking woke up in the closet with makeup smeared, hair everyone, one heel on, fucking fishnets stuck to hangers and shit...Bitch yo ass was looking like the joker off batman and shit...Fucking Jose and Spliff fucked yo ass royally...Shit I can't talk though...I burned my damn hand on them bricks from the fireplace, didn't feel that shit til the next day...Apparently a bitch got thirsty and decided to sit on the counter...Fucking woke up with a glass of OJ in one hand and a leg on the sink...Good mothafucking times bitch...Thats why you're in my will."
