Oldie But Goodie

Since I feel like being a bum today, lets just post some ignance.



O-Mothafucking-Le'. But not every one stans for our mischeif :(



But then again, no one on the corner has swagga like us.



*Shudders* Yep, so lets play a little game of "Wheres The Bitches", kinda like Wheres Waldo, but more sexier. Your job is to locate the two infamous bitches of this blog in the first gif. Don't worry, I will leave a clue, we both were dancing, good luck peoples.

Wait...Wait...Wait...

You mean to tell me we have done a hundred of these mofos all ready...Oh no man this is a joke...No way possible we are at a hundred and haven't got not nah, not one e-mail, fax, stamped letter saying that we should shut down house or the feds goin do an invasion...LMAO, yo fam, today is the day like David Spade, and tonight is the night like Betty Wright...Never thought that we would see the day, but your oh so fabulous bitches that despise snitches are proud to say we made it to 100 mothafucking posts(though I did most of the work, that other heffa came in at the end, and expecting some cut)...To be honest I really don't know why we are suppose to be celebrating this, but apparently to Blogger and Bloggers this is a big deal...I honestly don't give a fuck, but we goin go ahead and keep the peace...Now, if you don't know how the misses and the gang celebrates or maybe even just forgot, let me school ya a lil bit...There will be lots of drankin...and I do mean lots, I have the tolerance of a bull...Lots of smoking, no need to elaborate, and whatever the hell else comes to mind(mainly just watch youtube videos and laugh our asses off)...In honor of such a joyous event, why not play a clip from one of my fav D.V.D's...Oh and no victory will be complete without thanking the people behind the scenes of this awful movie of a blog we got going...So yes Fam, thanks a million, for without your, what are we up to averaging like four views a day, this blog would be lamer than The Pussycat Dolls...HOLLA!!!

Save A Horse...

Ride A Cowboy...*Blank Stare*...That has got to be the dumbest shit I've ever heard, and I've heard some really dumb shit in my lifetime...Anyways Fam sorry about the anti-socialness, but this bytch has been on some real other shit lately since my return from the "Mother-Land"(Louisiana)...Lets see, I've been sleeping more than a pregnant chick...Matter of fact I took a pregnancy test to verify my status...Negative, Thank God...Drinking(hanging out with my drunk Mother for a week will do that to you, I've never drank so much in my life)non-stop...And more sleeping...But ya wants to know about my trip...Here goes, brace yourself...

Friday, the flight was amazing...Maybe thats cause I was fucking wasted and slept the entire time there...Was greeted at the airport by my ENTIRE family...I shit you not...From the Great-Grands on down to the third cousins...A bunch of black ghetto mofo's in Baton Rouge Metropolitan...





What a riot...I almost had to tell the Grands about herself for pushing up on the mans, but it was all in good fun...Made a quick stop at my favorite aunts home for a delightful meal of fried catfish, potato salad, green beans, and some other shit I can't remember...I was drunk dammit, keep up...Next stop, The Belle Of Baton Rouge...For those who are not familiar with this place...Its one of two casino boats in B.R...Lost $400 at the black-jack table within the first 20 minutes...So just imagine the dent I put in my pocketbook in two hours...But hey the drinks were free and free...Left the boat feeling loose, but oh so tired...Decided to crash in B.R. for the night(My parents moved to Alexandria, LA a while back)...

Saturday, took our fabulous asses home(This would be the first time that I would actually see the new home that my parents bought...The home that I spent most of my time in burned down last Thanksgiving, so I was really stoked about seeing it)Fucking amazing is all I can say...This is truly one family that has made a complete turn-around...I'm gonna stop right here, I feel myself getting all mushy gushy, but every chance that I get, I tell anyone with an ear our success story...The rest of the week was a little blurry, but just know that we had a BLAST...

Anyways fam here are the pics that I promised...



Me & My Aunt...Fabulous Bytches OWWWW!!!




More Sexiness...



My Baby Sis(In The Pink? Ribbon) And My Cousin...



Future A.K.A, And I Don't Know Whose Foot That Is...



Another One Of My Cousins...



On My Way Home...I Was Lit Hence The Drunken Photo Of Me Passed Out On The Couch, Taken By F...



Did Y'all Really Think I Was Gonna Leave Without Posting A Pic Of The Light(s) Of My Life...Papa Mis, And The Baby Sis...

The Rest Of The Pics Are A Little Controversial, Hence No Pic Of The Moms and the other Sisters...Just Know That That Chick(The Moms) Is What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up...Sexy Fabulous And Unstoppable...Well thats it fam, enjoy...Topic of the week, I have no idea...It will just be a surprise to us all...I'll Holla!!!

Fear Of Flying...

There are only two well maybe three things that the misses fear...God(I Luvs Jesus, believe it or not)...My Mother(Okay, my thing is this is the only chick that can hit me and I can do absolutely nothing about it...Any other broad can get it with the quickness)...And flying(Scared to death, do you hear me)...

Two Plane tickets...Delta Airlines(First Class Of Course)...$2154.00

Two weeks supply of Tylenol, Likka, and No-Doze for S.M...Uno Grande'

Everything that is possibly needed for the survival of a very spoiled puppy with her aunt S.M...Along with the current issue of "puppy power"...$375.00

Travel wardrobe...You don't want to know...

Nose piercing(Well I don't have it yet, but I will on Thursday. This is the only piercing that I have left to do.) $46

Get the hair fried, dyed(I am really getting the hair dyed...Back to black baby...Red makes me look mean as fugg, and everyone knows that I am a super nice person *looks around*), and flipped to the side...$128(Its worth it dammit)

Mani & Pedi...$75

Arguing with F as to why I need to bring 14 pairs of shoes with me on vacation...Priceless, or at least me "having my way" and the make-up sex was...

Anyways fam, I am going on vacation...Yes, yes, yes, words cannot express how excited I am...That is until I think about the five hour flight to Louisiana that we have...Straight up bullshit...Y'all just don't know...I mean I'm good through security, boarding, seating, hell even take-off...What kills me is that turbulence B.S...I can just pretty much imagine the scenario...

*Beep**And by this time I'm gonna be tipsy as hell* "Good afternoon this is your captain speaking...We will be experiencing a little TURBULENCE...please remain seated and buckle your seatbelts"
*still calm*
*still calm*
*plane begins to shake*
*a little stirred, but no biggie*
*plane shaking so terribly my glass of Moet falls to the floor**In my loud ghetto tone* "Aww, you know what, this is straight up bullshit...Turbulence my ass, I mean you ain't got to lie to me...Is this mothafucka going down...Don't lie to me bytch..."
"No Ma'am its just turbulence"
*Crying hysterically* "I'm too young to die, I have a puppy to take care of...Who's gonna take care of her if this bytch goes down...I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die...Oh lawd why"
And ETC!!! So yes fam, this shall be an interesting Friday... You know what I'm sick of...My mothafucking neighbors and their constant need to fuck...I know I can't talk about anyone, seeing how you can catch me riding F's dick at least 4 hours out of the day...But y'all just don't know...I've been over there at least six times within the past week to tell them mothafuckas to keep it down...Anyhoo, I will be on vacation until I feel like coming back...I promise to bring back souvenirs...Pictures at the most...Well thats it fam...I miss ya already...

Flyleaf – All Around Me


Update: Yes, Yes the Bytch is back...I probably won't speak on my trip until tomorrow and thats not a promise...Anyways today is our baby's 3 month birthday so we are gonna take her to the park and have a little picnic/party for her...Peace out Fam...

I Hear 'Em Call Da Wild, And Do It All The While...

Doggy & Froggy Style...What!!! Fuck Me -Ludaris

Hi my good peoples...I would love to stay and chat with ya but I've got plans...If ya must know what exactly those plans are...Imma about to bake some cookies...For those of you who know me than ya know what the hells I'm talkin bout...For those who don't Luda shall enlighten ya...I'LL HOLLA!!!



Update: Okay fam imma be real honest with y'all you see this post that I did sometime last night...I don't even remember typing that shyt...LMAO, well since its here I thought that I would use it as my blackboard...Basically tells ya what I have planned for the weekend...First I shall sleep...Matter of fact once I'm done with this, my azz is going back to sleep...Secondly I plan on going over to a friends place and do nothing but have a wonderful discussion on world peace...Sike, we shall talk about nothing but the nasty, while consuming mass quantities of likka...What shall happen on Saturday...I have no definite plans...And so forth and so on...So thats it fam...Have a fantabolous weekend...Y'all be safe now ya hear...I don't want to come back to e-mails and phone calls of someone needing me to bail them out or some shyt like that...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Drunk Posting...

Is this even legal...anyways fam I am like tore what they call the fuck up right now...I'm headed to party number 3...If I don't make it back, the fam gets all of everything that I own...That is all...

Weekend Debauchery Part Dos...

Listen up carefully Fam..Just go along with the videos and you will indeed know exactly what it is that the Misses will be doing this weekend...I decided to try something a little different this week, for the music shall tell the tale of my life...Let us begin...

Friday: I shall be doing a little of this:
Well thats only cause F has been bumping this song all day...Damn I can take a clue...It will be followed by this:
Fuck staying in the house all weekend long...I've got thangs ta do...Moving right along...Ive really been in the mood for some of this lately:
Yeah some of that good shyt...
Crawl my azz into bed once again only to be awakened by some of this:
Midnight X-stasy, boy you can't go wrong...Well all good thangs must come to an end, and its time to ask for forgiveness:

Have a wonderful weekend fam...Be safe, postitive, and be lovin...Well thats it world I'LL HOLLA!!!

I'm A Movement By Myself...

But I'm a force when were together. -Fabolous

Guten Morgen(Good Morning in German) fam...How the hell are you...Me, well I'm sleepless in Laramie...Why, more on this later...How was your weekend, mine, awesome until this morning...

Friday June 27, 2008: Started out as usual, but I was floating on cloud nine, for this would be the day in which we celebrate our love(Not that we don't any other day)... Went to work as usual, left early to change into the after-hour attire.... Make it home only to be greeted by the mans in a onesee *addressing the puzzled looks (a onesee is this two in one pajama set that is usually worn by toddlers)* and one of those Dave Crockett raccoon hats...I shit you not... "Baby please stop playing, let me inside, I've got to get ready"..."Nope"...By this time I realized what was going on..."Okay just give me my clothes and I will go over to Sierra's place to get ready"...He hands me this big ass box, nothing looked familiar, but no complaints from me..."I will pick you up in two hours"...Is what he said as I left the place...*mumbling* "looking like a gigantic toddler"..."What TF I thought I wouldn't see you until sometime next month"..."Hahaha, nah just three days, I need to borrow your restroom for a bit. I'm not allowed into my house for the present moment." "What!!!" "No, its nothing like what you're thinking, I guess F has something planned out and doesn't want me to see right now."..........After a few drinks and almost a couple hours later, I hear that knock on the door, let the excitement begin...

We drove to Cheyenne, touched down at Red Lobster... I gave him the are you serious look(Not that I'm too boojie for Red Lobster, but he knows that I hate that fucking place, the bitches gave me food poisoning and I refuse to eat there again)... He proceeded to get out of the car but paused and burst out into laughter..."Had you shook there for a minute huh babe"..."You really think that me almost dying is funny"..."Yep"..."Asshole" It was all in good fun...

Left Cheyenne, touched down at our place once again...I've got this what the fuck is going on look... "Baby I've got a confession, I really didn't have anything planned for this weekend. I thought that if we drove around for a bit than something would come to me."... "Why didn't you say that shit in the first place, I could have been out doing something other than riding around in a mothafucking car all damn night."..."I'm sorry"... By this time I'm storming to the front door... "Baby hold up, are you mad?"...In a very sarcastic tone..."No not at all honey, lets just get inside so I can lay down. I'm very tired"... Opens the door to what I'm my mind looked nothing like the place in which we called home...This humongous smile comes across my face... "Sorry babe, the chef needed a couple more hours to prepare, so the only genius idea that I could come up with at the time was to drive around."..."Is that so."

I bet you're thinking I had some ostrich feet or some shit like that to eat...Nope, a cheeseburger...I deal with that shit for a living, and sometimes a girl just wants some normalcy...Finished up our dinner, said our thank-yous and goodbyes to Mr. Douglas Benson(the chef)...Took the party to the bedroom... There was a single black sheet on the bed, and atop was red rose petals... The red on black contrast was beautiful... "Why don't we relax a bit"...By this time I've had a couple bottles of wine, so I was already relaxed... "Whatever you say babe"... I look over into the tub and the water was BLACK with the red rose petals... "Fuck you whyte boy, I ain't getting into that shyt, fucking water is blacker than me."..."*laughing* Don't worry its just bath salts"..."Yeah okay but if my azz comes out a half a shade darker than sexy chocolate, were gonna fight. I ain't bullshitting biggums"... Laughed and talked for what seemed like hours... I fell asleep in LOVES arms that night...

Saturday June 28, 2008: Woke up with a damn headache, cooked breakfast for, and ate with F. Went back to bed, stayed in bed until like 4 p.m., we finally got up off our asses... F gets this bright idea to go pet shopping, and that we did... It was love at first sight...She(we named her Boston, she's a pit-bull/terrier mix) was so beautiful...Got her home, and whats the first thing this BITCH does, shits on our mothafucking carpet...But I am a forgiving person...A couple hours rolls by, we decide to go to bed...Gots to go say our Amens the next day...Boston has a completely different idea in mind...Crying & Whining all night must be whats hot this summer...

Didn't go to church Sunday...Lets just say I didn't have the strength...Currently I'm nursing these bags under my eyes... Boston is passed out in the living room... Along with F... I just want to go to sleep...But I can't seeing how today is Monday, and you know what that means, WORK... I've already said my little keep me near the cross prayer, cause I can just feel myself slipping into that ruthless bitch mood... And we all know what that means, the employees will suffer... Well thats its world... I'LL HOLLA!!!

What It Is Yo...A Whats Up...

What up fam, its ya gurl T-to-the-mothafuckin-Bone coming at ya live from bytch headquarters...HAHAHA, nah, I'm just sitting here at the computer finishing off a glass of Vodka & Cranberry that I was too tired to do before... Its Friday and y'all know what that means, time to do sumthin strange for a lil piece of change(of course if you're into that)... I'm not really gonna get into a whole lot of mischief this weekend(shocking I know) just gonna put on the lil black dress that highlights the ass, shake said ass & make some love... Thats right, nothing too dramatic this weekend... Just me and my baby celebrating the day in which we became official, I wish I could tell y'all exactly what we are gonna do, but alls I know is what I mentioned before...The Mans has everything planned out...I promise to let ya know what occurred sometime next week...Well thats it World, but before I leave I just want to give a special shout out to Jhazzai, Diva, & Jaila for all their well wishes... I'LL HOLLA!!!
Oh and for those who gotta get someone home tonight...Get yo freak on...Just don't hurt em :side eyein Jhazzai:

Georgy Porgy...Puddin Pie...

Kissed the girls and made them cry...-Toto(sprinkled with a little bit of Cheryl Lynn)

Break out the champagne glassed(literally)...I'm BAAACCCKKK!!!!...My back, well its stress related...A bunch of bull if you ask me, but I guess thats why they are paid the big bucks...I've decided to try something a little different today...So bear with me please...Today I'm NOT going to discuss SEX...Everyone knows that I am a freak, blah blah blah...I'm taking a day off...I'm NOT discussing MONEY...I'm paid, end of story...I'm NOT discussing DRUGS(don't ever recall speaking on it)...I may joke about it, but not even Aspirin touches this tongue...I'm NOT discussing Rock-N-Roll...

Lets talk about LOVE, REAL LOVE, the kind of LOVE that is shared between two MORTAL souls entangled in the abyss of it...The kind of LOVE that ranks high...Personally my list is as follows: GOD, Family, F. Wright...Being third is not always a bad thing...The kind of LOVE that erases all your mistakes...Gives you a fresh start, a sense of newness...Though considered cynical, pessimistic, self-centered, heartless, agitated,...LOVE still LOVED...Though other ties were held...LOVE was/is patient...Though not perfect(close to it)...LOVE is...

The kind of LOVE that replaces the once well planned out future...The house by the age of 25(a condo at 21, *smiles*), a fast-paced career, no kids until 25, no debt...The revised list: F. Wright(all I need to get by babe)...The kind of LOVE that TRUST, FAITH, or SECURITY is no issue to...The kind of LOVE that gives a heart the motivation it needs to beat...The feeling of loneliness, even though LOVE is only in the other room...The feeling of exhilaration in LOVES arms...The feeling of warmth when LOVE whispers a simple good morning in the ear...

The kind of LOVE that has the medulla oblongata in an uproar... The kind of LOVE that will in no doubt provoke strange occurrences... The kind of LOVE to stimulate outbursts of laughter at FEAR... The kind of LOVE to sacrifice all for... The kind of LOVE that I will gladly sell my entire Marvin Gaye collection for(Now that's some strong love, I think I made a mistake above. The list should go as follows: GOD, Family, Marvin Gaye, F. Wright :-), just kidding)...You still here?...Just threw Marvin in there to make sure...Lets get back to it... The kind of LOVE that makes you weak...Surely SWV didn't do it justice...The kind of LOVE that is ONLY YOU...

Well here it is baby...I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed typing it... Happy Anniversary, did I ever think that we would be here, fa sho daddy... The ups, the very few downs, the pain, the pleasure, the midnight donut runs, the losing on purpose in Monopoly, the respect of my OCD, the big ass bucket of Dubble Bubble, the sharing of your PJ's cause the thousands of sets that I have just aren't good enough, is just a few reasons WHY I LOVE you...Your smile, smell, touch, lips, tongue,(okay I'm gonna stop at tongue, I feel myself drifting slowly towards something sexual) is just a little logic as to WHAT it is that I LOVE about you...Everyday, Nonstop, is WHEN I LOVE you...I'm not going to say forever cause its just not long enough, but UNTIL, UNTIL, UNTIL is HOW I LOVE YOU... P.S., Fam I know you were reading this like WTF is she talking about, well today my baby and I are celebrating our anniversary(I am not gonna say how long, I need at least some secrecy) and I decided to type a little of my feelings on/about him... Don't worry regularly scheduled fuckery resumes tomorrow...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

R U STILL DOWN...

Jon B. ft. Tupac - Are You Still Down


Yes, Yes, Yes...Two of my first loves in the same video...I would cause flames on Jon's dick from riding that azz... And Pac, I miss you...

Well world ya gurl is going to be very naughty this weekend...Not that I'm not at any given moment...Things will be different this weekend...I'm calling it naughty girl weekend, and no I'm not doing the man all weekend, though he will feel the side effects of my adventures...So tonight a VERY good friend of mine, I'm not gonna say who, but I will say that she Loves golf, is having a pleasure party...Don't give me that look, ya'll know what a pleasure party is...Let the fun begin, its about time, I need a new pair of handcuffs... Tomorrow will be filled with my second past-time(the first being...well you already know) SHOPPING...I'm getting moist at the thought...Have dinner of course, at this exclusive spot...I'm feeling a little boojie...Buy a couple bottles of ACE, and hit up our favorite strip joint...Anyplace that has Hunky men, with dicks to match is my second home...And of course Church on Sunday...Have a Fantabulous Weekend Fam...I Know I Will...

Round Two Tonight

So I had every intention of getting plastered last night, but didn't know that it would only take three screwdrivers to knock me on my ass, but more on this later.

Pretty awesome day yesterday, I woke up with that certain glow that you can only get from a nice dick-down...Dirty, nasty, spine-realigning, limping the next day, but it was so worth it dick-down...Called the girl SM, got the plans for the day(Speaking of SM, this chicks birthday is tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna feel SOME guilt in church, knowing that as soon as Passta says "Let the church say amen" for the third and final time, all that will be left of us is a memory...headed straight to Denver for a day of total fuckery...

For the afternoon, we decided to play a couple rounds of Golf...This chick was on some ol Tiger Woods shit...Beat my ass like it was no tomorrow...That's cool though, cause I am the Racquetball Queen in the gym... Enough with Golfing, it was like 110 degrees on the green...We called it quits...Went home, took a shower, and met up with the rest of the gang at this spot...

Oasis, more like a HO-asis if you ask me, there were at least 50 minors in that bitch. Neither one of us wanted to do a nickel in the pen, so we bounced...Took the party to another spot called Mingles...Very Mature crowd, so we stayed... Got up to the bar, ordered myself and the girls a drank...I ordered a screwdriver, which was more screw then driver...I was feeling a little loose after the first...

The girls CG & MA were playing a game of pool...SM was over in the corner flirting with the bartender...I was smoking/texting the mans wondering why I'm feeling so tipsy after only two drinks...Mind you I'm a certified card-carrying alcoholic, and I'm like WTF, this mofo done stuck one of them date rape pills in my shit, gotta watch his ass...About an hour rolls by, I'm polishing off my third and final drank...I was to that point where EVERYBODY starts to look good, and extremely horny, no way I was gonna waste my lace undies on some stranger...So I called it quits on the drankin...Don't need to wake up in some random guys bed the next day with nothing on but skin and smelling like Stetson, no thanks...Called the mans to come pick us up, no one was in driving condition...Pulled SM off the bartender...CG & MA were now dancing on the pool table...So I yanked them up...Got to the house...watched videos for a bit...Told the ladies goodnight...WTF they did once I went to sleep, I have no clue...I was to busy trying to break in the new sheets...

Yep, that pretty much sums up the day...I didn't wake up with a hangover for once...And round two is jumping off tonight...I promise to share the details...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Side-Note: Tomorrow is Father's Day this we all know...Here's just a little about the man in which I call my Father... My sperm-donor left before I was born, so I know absolutely nothing about this jackass...But the Man who has raised me since the tender age of two is the light of my life, my hero, my ace-k-boom...Did he have to take me in as his own, no...But felt the need to anyway...Mom was/is the dictator, he's the let's go fishing to get away from this crazy woman type of man...Pretty cool guy...It hurts like hell now that his health is failing him...He recently had a stroke...But knowing him, this is nothing...He will be there to see all of his grandkids births, my baby sis graduate from high school, the many, many weddings that all FIVE of his little girls will have(ones enough for me) and etc...I keep telling myself this, and praying to God that this is so...My life without him is meaningless...So hang in there old man, alot of folks are depending on you...And with my all in all, I LOVE YOU!!!

Booty Shakin With My Glass In My Left One...Right Hand Sayin Step Son...

Thats right ya'll its Friday bitches, and Ladies Night in some parts. Time to dust the wood wheel off and let ya screens relax. Personally imma stop by the job, say whats up and head straight to the bar. Its been a rough week, and what better way to celebrate than consuming hundreds of dollars worth of likka, shaking yo ass with ya girls/boys, and passing out on yo deck. I can't think of anything better. My ass Will be glued to the front pew on Sunday asking for forgiveness for the things that are gonna go down this weekend... Oh Hells Mothafuckin Yes!!!! I'LL HOLLA BITCHES!!!

I Don't Think Its Legal...

My ass did it anyways. Alls I remember from last night is my social, and I barely remember that shit. I also found out that Mr.Wright takes these secret pics of me when I'm drunk and passed what we like to call In The Land Of No Bullshit, "The Fuck Out." Apparently I cuddled with my rug for a while last night, and later ended up showing my naked ass to my silk sheets. But you don't have to take my word for it, here is some proof.

Yep! I was OUT!!! Spread Eagle Both Ways




On My Way To Bed!!!




Watch Back of a Smiley


For those of you who really thought that I was gonna post pics of my nice apple bottom, to you dear sir or ma'am, well I'll let the smiley explain.

Yep, it was one of those nights, at least this time I didn't have to explain to the man why I came home smelling like Stetson, and rocking the Commando. Yes I was a good girl last night, no touching, flirting, or quickie-ing random men. Wheres my cookie damnit!!!

Until Next Time World...

I'LL HOLLA!!!

Side Note: Yep I'm Going To Church

Real Women Drink...

Drink Moet' Mimosa's for breakfast... Have Margarita's for lunch... Cosmo's for dinner... And Gin & Tonic Night Caps.

Here's a pic of my whole bar.


Two in one day, thats got to be a record for me, just wanted to get out a few post to last you through out the weekend. Its gonna be a weekend to remember...Hope yours is just as fabulous as mine. Until next time world...I'LL HOLLA!!!

The Bytch Is Back...

Thats right people, I'm back and sexier than ever considering the fact that I had IV's and shit sticking out of my body for half a week. Apparently I had a mild case of pneumonia, but the shit was severe enough to hospitalize my black ass. The only good thing about that fucking plague was that I lost ten pounds, and loving it. So break out the champagne glasses, ITS A CELEBRATION BITCHES. On another note, there is something that I've been wanting to let out for weeks now, but didn't really have the strength to type, so why not let it out now...SHALL WE?

Strengths & Weakness...My Own Of Course...

Strength- Beauty
Weakness- Beauty(Its A Gift And A Curse)

Strength- Brains
Weakness- Intelligent Men

Strength- Power Of Persuasion
Weakness- Satisfaction

Strength- Money
Weakness- Shopping

Strength- Stability
Weakness- A Week Of Sheer Bliss! (Oh I Would Kill For Some Peace Right Now)

Strength- Loving
Weakness- Loving My Man (There is so much that I can say about him, but to summarize, I Love To Love Him)

Strength- Very Opinionated
Weakness- A Great Discussion

Strength- My Wit
Weakness- Funny jokes every and then

Strength- A Career
Weakness- Getting Raises On A Regular.

And the list could go on forever, but forever is not long enough now is it. I just wanted to let out a basis of what I perceive myself to be. Have a GOODNIGHT YA'LL, I know I will.

I'm Starting A New Ass Everyday Regime

So... No partying tonight *shocking I know*, me and the mans are just gonna watch some over-priced cable, drink about two cases of "Blue Moon" (which is like sipping on the jizz of gods by the way), and, well you know the rest.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, I repeat wonderful weekend... I know I will

*Smooches, Baby, I'll HOLLA!!"

Mothers Day...Oh The Horror

This is the first year that I am NOT pulling out my hair trying to figure out what fabulous gift to get the LADY that gave me life. Oh no not this year, I'm too cool for that...


Every year about this time I ask the simple question, "so what do you want for Mothers Day", and every year I gets the same answer, "Oh whatever YOU want to get me is fine..."

Damnit, I don't know thats why I asked!!! *Of course I didn't say this to her because I'm pretty sure that she would have invented some kind of way to MURDER me through the phone. The headlines WOULD be evoking and that shit would SELL like free ass, and she'd have the nerve to catch a damn attitude when I ask to borrow a DOLLA...*

I mean really what are you ACTUALLY suppose to give a mother, a thank- you card? Thats just tacky and wrong on so many levels, I found this out the hard way...

So last year, I got her a gift certificate to the best damn spa in A-town, Louisiana, which was a bad call. About a month after Mothers Day, we had THIS convo...

Moi- Did you check out that spa yet?
The Moms- No, don't really have time.
Moi- What do you mean you don't have time, you have nothing but time
The Moms- Well I just don't like having random people feeling me up
Moi- What? This coming from the lady who has an obsession with strippers(male). I would have gotten you one, but I'm almost certain you're hubby wouldn't appreciate the gesture.
The Moms- *Laughing* I know right, I don't know baby, spa's just ain't my thing
Moi- Sorry...I promise to get ya something that you'll enjoy next year...

This year after constant nagging, and a few threats to get her that stripper, I finally got her to tell me exactly what she wants. I know my wallet will thank me for it later...




So... I got THE MOMS a ROLEX (2500.00 isn't cheap by the way AMAZON), and SIX, count em up, SIX bottles of LE' GREY GOOSE. She loves that shit, apparently she's having a cocktail party of some sort and needs all that damn liquor. Cocktail party my ass, she just wants to get loose off the goose, well at least she can show off her roley while doing it...


Ahhh, I need a drink.

Back On Track....Party On Baby

So....now that my soul is safely tucked back in, lets party. J/K, but seriously I just want to say thanks to all my friends and loved ones for the uplifting emails and texts. I'm doing 100% percent better now, and this wouldn't have been possible without your love and support. Thanks A Million

Stay In School

I know that I promised to post pics and details of Friday nights shenanigans, but the pics are terrible, and the details are vague. But in the spirit of fuckery, I do have an interesting story that I will share.

So.... last night we decided to go to a bar, we don't have clubs here in Laramie, just bars, and a shit-ton of them. Everythang was everythang, just me and the girls hanging getting drunk off of countless shots of Patron', and out of no where this thing (I'm not even gonna say man) approached me with the craziest pick-up line I've ever heard. I have to say brother was banging, but I have something even better at home. So anyways homie came up to me, and this is exactly how the convo went.


Homie- You remind me of my mom.
Me- Umm excuse me
Homie-You remind me of my mom.
Me- Is that right, How so?
Homie- Cause baby you're beauty has been whooping my ass all night long.
Me- *Staring* Are you serious?
Homie- Yeah baby, when you goin let me hit that?
Me- *leaned over to the girlfriend* Did this mothafucka say that I've been beating his ass with my looks?
S.M.- Yeah, I'm still stuck on the whole moms thing.


So... by this time, S.M. and I are dying laughing, Mr. Wright walks up to buy me a drank (we were on some, "lets play strangers at the bar, and then go home and have wild kinky sex on the lawn then move it to the pool table for the finale", type shit), I gladly accept. Seeing all this go down, homie decides to get all emotional and starts to talk shit. He really just made matters worst for himself, by this time tears were running down my face, but I was finally calm enough to address the situation.

Me- First of all I'm not completely sure that I'm comfortable with you saying that you want to hit anything, seeing that you obviously have some kind of freaky thoughts of incest shit that you need to discuss with your mom. Second, I'm not that drunk, hell to be honest with you, ya quickly sobered me up. And third, now this is the most important one so listen carefully, get what we in the land of no bullshit like to call, THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!

UGGHH!!!!! I have no tolerance for ignant mofo's especially men, stay in school damnit, just stay in school!!!