So fam I totally forgot that I would be doing the posting for the next couple of weeks...For everyones favorite hoochie is/will be in Seattle for the next couple of weeks doing whatever the hell she does to make money...Prostituting if you ask me, but who am I to judge anyone...
Random Events And Occurrences Of The Week:
Yesterday I didn't have any classes until the evening...So the whores that I call friends came over to supposedly aid in my studying...Little of this studying that I speak of happened...The hilarity that was pretty much my afternoon began when Sierra called to rant about traffic and the prices of drinks in the rainy city...Me being the genius that I am decided to put her on speaker phone...I should probably state that the majority of the time that we are "all" together is filled with arguments and threats...Its kind of a love/hate relationship between us...Anyhoo let the fuckery begin...This shit went on for about an hour, long story short, everyone called cease fire when "Chris" threatened to go to war on Sierra's baby the Benz G500 using coontactics and armor-all...I haven't laughed so hard in weeks...I could just imagine the look on her face when she said that...Y'all just don't know how obsessed she is with that damn truck...Anyways being the hispanic/black mix that she is politely began to cuss that ass out in a mixture of spanglish/gibberish...She says the shit so fast no one can understand a word she's saying...Yeah good mothafuckin times...
Speaking of school, things are pretty much going in my favor right now...Biology is a bitch, but I straight up raped my last few tests...The shit was quite trying, but I aced it no doubt...
The mans is still fat & sexy...But he straight up got the time game fucked up...A few nights ago we stayed up til like 4 in the morning smoking and dranking...And of course eating random shit like chili and guacamole...Hey don't knock it until you try it...Anyhoo, went to bed at 4...I forgot to set the alarm clock, for my ass had to be in class at 8:35 the next day...Lets see I was awakened at 8 with a hard dick in my ass, with a smile on its owners face...I was like baby I'm going to be late as it is and you want to add on to it...And we had all night to fuck, you want to wait until ten minutes until I have to be in class to bone...Nah son, you got the game fucked up...This of course fell on dry ears...I, of course missed the first class of the day, but made him make it up to me by taking me out to lunch...I need a new hobby...
Thats it fam, I'm going to leave you with a little "Soul Shadows"...I've been feeling Bill like a mofo lately, and this is my jam...I'LL HOLLA...
Showing posts with label Sad But True. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sad But True. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Flashing Lights...
So the misses has been cheating her ass off lately. I was SUPPOSE to do my comeback last night but instead was lured to that deadly sexy condo of hers with the promise of "la" and of course a bountiful pantry of moonpies and shyt. Thats exactly what happened "little poison for the system", some good shit. If ever given the chance everyone should get blazed with this chick, its hilarious. I remember us laying on the couch watching the Kanye West "Flashing Lights" video and looking in amazement like is this the REAL video. For some strange reason, the video seemed like it was 6 hours, the misses had a question for every damn thing that happened, and I've never ate so much garbage a day in my life. I woke up looking around like why are these fritos stuck to my tiddies...In-Te-Hoo, I think I'm still a bit blazed, I told y'all that was some good shit. Here it is close to 1 and I still feel the need analyze everydamnthing. She's cheating I tell you, so when I come to my senses, this broad is going down. Toodles.
Updated Version:
In my opinion there are two types of "freaks". Number one being a good fuck, no a decent fuck. Just the shit to get your rocks off, but no wedding is in tow, comprende', keep up. Next we have the fuck(freak) that is a bit elevated from the typical. This is the type of freak who is so sure of themselves and trust me it shows. This type of freak can take dick til the cows come home, and the pussy will still be in tact. If ever given the chance to experience this type of freak, one may become infatuated, and all that good shit, and settle if you will. Now me being the freak of freaks know that there is really no need to brag, for the proof is in the pudding. Now I must say that the misses did make a valid point about single sex, and tied sex. Its true that single sex is way more kinkier if you will than any sex that you may have with some random. Lets just call it emotional sex, at least we agree on something. Back to it, Bitchy and demands nothing but the best, yeah you can say that. I will school your punk ass if need be, "deeper and harder, come on its okay to fuck me", that type of shit. So lets get this list started now that I have stated the facts.
Why do we have to go to Jamaica everydamnyear? *question of the girlfriends* Not really wanting to tell them the truth about why women REALLY love Jamaica, and I personally cause of the Jamaican black snake. You can't really consider yourself in a three-some until you've had two of these hung-drung mofo's. Oh the memories, last year my little private show took place on the beach. Two chocolaty bros, endless drinks, and hours of fucking. I must say I was looking for their kids most of the time, cause I just couldn't get enough of the way that the juices tasted. Yeah good times, matter of fact I think its time for our annual vacation.
So I have this box full of sexual goodies. I.E. dildos, cock rings, anal beads, lube, clit massagers, knock off viagra(just to keep the party going), and much more. Safety word, prison, it takes alot for me to give in and say prison, but this last chick in which I envy had me saying it within the first 15. Not never did I think I would be in a situation of the sort with any chick, I used to always think to myself whats the point, I couldn't possibly get any kind of satisfaction from this. Lets just say that college life changed my whole perspective.
You know if you really looked hard enough, and actually knew what to look for, ya might be able to find videos of my skills. I know the misses is goin be pissed about that, I loves her and all but this is a competition. Call it a low-blow if ya want, but I shall not lose. Toodles
Updated Version:
In my opinion there are two types of "freaks". Number one being a good fuck, no a decent fuck. Just the shit to get your rocks off, but no wedding is in tow, comprende', keep up. Next we have the fuck(freak) that is a bit elevated from the typical. This is the type of freak who is so sure of themselves and trust me it shows. This type of freak can take dick til the cows come home, and the pussy will still be in tact. If ever given the chance to experience this type of freak, one may become infatuated, and all that good shit, and settle if you will. Now me being the freak of freaks know that there is really no need to brag, for the proof is in the pudding. Now I must say that the misses did make a valid point about single sex, and tied sex. Its true that single sex is way more kinkier if you will than any sex that you may have with some random. Lets just call it emotional sex, at least we agree on something. Back to it, Bitchy and demands nothing but the best, yeah you can say that. I will school your punk ass if need be, "deeper and harder, come on its okay to fuck me", that type of shit. So lets get this list started now that I have stated the facts.
Why do we have to go to Jamaica everydamnyear? *question of the girlfriends* Not really wanting to tell them the truth about why women REALLY love Jamaica, and I personally cause of the Jamaican black snake. You can't really consider yourself in a three-some until you've had two of these hung-drung mofo's. Oh the memories, last year my little private show took place on the beach. Two chocolaty bros, endless drinks, and hours of fucking. I must say I was looking for their kids most of the time, cause I just couldn't get enough of the way that the juices tasted. Yeah good times, matter of fact I think its time for our annual vacation.
So I have this box full of sexual goodies. I.E. dildos, cock rings, anal beads, lube, clit massagers, knock off viagra(just to keep the party going), and much more. Safety word, prison, it takes alot for me to give in and say prison, but this last chick in which I envy had me saying it within the first 15. Not never did I think I would be in a situation of the sort with any chick, I used to always think to myself whats the point, I couldn't possibly get any kind of satisfaction from this. Lets just say that college life changed my whole perspective.
You know if you really looked hard enough, and actually knew what to look for, ya might be able to find videos of my skills. I know the misses is goin be pissed about that, I loves her and all but this is a competition. Call it a low-blow if ya want, but I shall not lose. Toodles
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hotter Than A Wet Cooch...
Yo, whats up fam...Its truly, truly been a hot minute since, well since...I see that the BF has been boring the shyt out of ya with that lame sense of humor(laughing at my recent bout with that bytch of a virus)...OMG I have not nevah in my 20 plus years felt such pain...It was no fun at all...But now that I'm back, lets have a mothafucking party...
They say Misses what have you been doing...and to that I say a little of this...
They say Misses what have you been doing...and to that I say a little of this...
Well lots of this...But hey when the DOCS force you to go to rehab for a week because of some stupid ass virus, you'll fall off the wagon pretty damn hard as well...And when I say fall, I mean run, jump, do some damn cartwheels off that bitch...To hell with being sober...Hell I can't even remember the last time I was sober, alls I know is that I didn't like it one damn bit...Straight B.S...Been getting a lot of time in at the ballpark as well...Bet y'all didn't know that I was into sports, trying to imagine my boojie ass out in the heat hitting some balls...Oh yes, I would walk to the ends of the earth for some balls...Balls, balls, and more balls, keep up...I've had some sex lately that I'm seriously ashamed of...Just nasty, crazy, insane fucking...Shit got so bad last night, afterwards I just yelled "I Fucking Hate You", got my keys, fuck clothes I didn't need em, and drove around town thinking of ways to hack this mofo without ending up in jail...Y'all laugh but I'm as serious as a heart-attack...I've been getting fucked so good, I straight up hate his ass right now...Did a little changing of the decor, nothing drastic...We now have a black accent wall in the master bedroom...It's starting to grow on me, though I was partial to the first...That's about all that has been going on with moi...It's been real lovely as usual fam...I've got a dinner date with Pee-On-My-Face Sierra, and the rest of the gang, so say a prayer for me...Nothing good ever comes out of these little dates, someone either wakes up in their office with honey and paper-clips stuck to their tiddies(bet ya can't guess who), or in my case cooks pancakes and shit in the nude...Will it ever end...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
More To Come...
Hey whats up fam...I know I promised to tell details about my trip...In due time I will, its just that I partied a little too much back home and this is all that I've been doing since I got back...
Kicked off the heels...
And took my black ass to sleep...
Well fam, sometime in the near future, I will be back on my game...Until then I'm gonna finish this coontini, and crawl my ass into bed once again...Oh and the couch that ya see me passed out on most of the time is in fact in our bedroom...Only a good 10 feet away from the bed, which should let you know how badly I'm usually intoxicated...Can't even walk my ass 10 feet to the bed...HOLLA FAM!!!
Kicked off the heels...
And took my black ass to sleep...
Well fam, sometime in the near future, I will be back on my game...Until then I'm gonna finish this coontini, and crawl my ass into bed once again...Oh and the couch that ya see me passed out on most of the time is in fact in our bedroom...Only a good 10 feet away from the bed, which should let you know how badly I'm usually intoxicated...Can't even walk my ass 10 feet to the bed...HOLLA FAM!!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Fear Of Flying...
There are only two well maybe three things that the misses fear...God(I Luvs Jesus, believe it or not)...My Mother(Okay, my thing is this is the only chick that can hit me and I can do absolutely nothing about it...Any other broad can get it with the quickness)...And flying(Scared to death, do you hear me)...
Two Plane tickets...Delta Airlines(First Class Of Course)...$2154.00
Two weeks supply of Tylenol, Likka, and No-Doze for S.M...Uno Grande'
Everything that is possibly needed for the survival of a very spoiled puppy with her aunt S.M...Along with the current issue of "puppy power"...$375.00
Travel wardrobe...You don't want to know...
Nose piercing(Well I don't have it yet, but I will on Thursday. This is the only piercing that I have left to do.) $46
Get the hair fried, dyed(I am really getting the hair dyed...Back to black baby...Red makes me look mean as fugg, and everyone knows that I am a super nice person *looks around*), and flipped to the side...$128(Its worth it dammit)
Mani & Pedi...$75
Arguing with F as to why I need to bring 14 pairs of shoes with me on vacation...Priceless, or at least me "having my way" and the make-up sex was...
Anyways fam, I am going on vacation...Yes, yes, yes, words cannot express how excited I am...That is until I think about the five hour flight to Louisiana that we have...Straight up bullshit...Y'all just don't know...I mean I'm good through security, boarding, seating, hell even take-off...What kills me is that turbulence B.S...I can just pretty much imagine the scenario...
*Beep**And by this time I'm gonna be tipsy as hell* "Good afternoon this is your captain speaking...We will be experiencing a little TURBULENCE...please remain seated and buckle your seatbelts"
*still calm*
*still calm*
*plane begins to shake*
*a little stirred, but no biggie*
*plane shaking so terribly my glass of Moet falls to the floor**In my loud ghetto tone* "Aww, you know what, this is straight up bullshit...Turbulence my ass, I mean you ain't got to lie to me...Is this mothafucka going down...Don't lie to me bytch..."
"No Ma'am its just turbulence"
*Crying hysterically* "I'm too young to die, I have a puppy to take care of...Who's gonna take care of her if this bytch goes down...I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die...Oh lawd why"
And ETC!!! So yes fam, this shall be an interesting Friday... You know what I'm sick of...My mothafucking neighbors and their constant need to fuck...I know I can't talk about anyone, seeing how you can catch me riding F's dick at least 4 hours out of the day...But y'all just don't know...I've been over there at least six times within the past week to tell them mothafuckas to keep it down...Anyhoo, I will be on vacation until I feel like coming back...I promise to bring back souvenirs...Pictures at the most...Well thats it fam...I miss ya already...
Flyleaf – All Around Me
Update: Yes, Yes the Bytch is back...I probably won't speak on my trip until tomorrow and thats not a promise...Anyways today is our baby's 3 month birthday so we are gonna take her to the park and have a little picnic/party for her...Peace out Fam...
Two Plane tickets...Delta Airlines(First Class Of Course)...$2154.00
Two weeks supply of Tylenol, Likka, and No-Doze for S.M...Uno Grande'
Everything that is possibly needed for the survival of a very spoiled puppy with her aunt S.M...Along with the current issue of "puppy power"...$375.00
Travel wardrobe...You don't want to know...
Nose piercing(Well I don't have it yet, but I will on Thursday. This is the only piercing that I have left to do.) $46
Get the hair fried, dyed(I am really getting the hair dyed...Back to black baby...Red makes me look mean as fugg, and everyone knows that I am a super nice person *looks around*), and flipped to the side...$128(Its worth it dammit)
Mani & Pedi...$75
Arguing with F as to why I need to bring 14 pairs of shoes with me on vacation...Priceless, or at least me "having my way" and the make-up sex was...
Anyways fam, I am going on vacation...Yes, yes, yes, words cannot express how excited I am...That is until I think about the five hour flight to Louisiana that we have...Straight up bullshit...Y'all just don't know...I mean I'm good through security, boarding, seating, hell even take-off...What kills me is that turbulence B.S...I can just pretty much imagine the scenario...
*Beep**And by this time I'm gonna be tipsy as hell* "Good afternoon this is your captain speaking...We will be experiencing a little TURBULENCE...please remain seated and buckle your seatbelts"
*still calm*
*still calm*
*plane begins to shake*
*a little stirred, but no biggie*
*plane shaking so terribly my glass of Moet falls to the floor**In my loud ghetto tone* "Aww, you know what, this is straight up bullshit...Turbulence my ass, I mean you ain't got to lie to me...Is this mothafucka going down...Don't lie to me bytch..."
"No Ma'am its just turbulence"
*Crying hysterically* "I'm too young to die, I have a puppy to take care of...Who's gonna take care of her if this bytch goes down...I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die...Oh lawd why"
And ETC!!! So yes fam, this shall be an interesting Friday... You know what I'm sick of...My mothafucking neighbors and their constant need to fuck...I know I can't talk about anyone, seeing how you can catch me riding F's dick at least 4 hours out of the day...But y'all just don't know...I've been over there at least six times within the past week to tell them mothafuckas to keep it down...Anyhoo, I will be on vacation until I feel like coming back...I promise to bring back souvenirs...Pictures at the most...Well thats it fam...I miss ya already...
Flyleaf – All Around Me
Update: Yes, Yes the Bytch is back...I probably won't speak on my trip until tomorrow and thats not a promise...Anyways today is our baby's 3 month birthday so we are gonna take her to the park and have a little picnic/party for her...Peace out Fam...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
SEDUCTION....From Lame-O To Game-O
*Turns down the Miles Davis...prepares the seriousness to elaborate on the topic of the week* "Okay Shawn, not even a subtle hint of hilarity on this one, SHE is depending on you"
Seduction...Where do I begin...I mean Webster has this definition of which we are meant to believe...I agree for the most part...But since I'm only handling the social aspect of it...I will save my views for the meeting on Friday...
1: the act of seducing; especially : the enticement of a person to sexual intercourse2: something that seduces : temptation3: something that attracts or charms
Seduction is more than enticing someone into sexual intercourse...True its sexy, erotic, sensual, stimulating...But so is any other thing that you can just about think of...From a personal note, I see it as a "stairway" to the ultimate satisfaction...
Seducing has always been a challenge for many men/women in our new generation...Crazy huh seeing as though it takes only a hello to seduce a man...At least thats how I see it...And I have proof...Anyways
Men/Women these days seem to have gone through a cultural change which has stripped their ability to attract and seduce the opposite sex...Seduction, broken down, to a point where it is methodical and predictable, is currently the crutch for the men/woman who otherwise would not have been to naturally embrace the art of seduction...
Why is this the case?...Why have men/women lost their natural ability to seduce the opposite sex?...I can't really really give a honest answer, but I can give a honest opinion...These days, the modern man/woman spends hours a day in a frozen, dumb state...Either in front of a computer, portraying his or her thoughts through a keyboard, watching TV,...People everywhere are being isolated from society...After working for 8 hours(ten in my case) at a computer which only responds to mouse clicks, the mental switch to have a delightful conversation with a beautiful woman or handsome man seems daunting...We must make this switch from ‘logical, isolated, non-creative’ to a more social, imaginative and friendly state...To properly engage in seduction...
In Seduction, there are many ways to make this switch...Though given the time that I have...Only one shall come from my person...
Through understanding the art of seduction, you can lead your mind to perform logical behaviors and gradually switch into a more social, imaginative state...Once you have fully understood the art of seduction, you can actually stay in a fully logical state...which is comfortable to you...and embrace a natural, enticing conversation with a beautiful woman or man...In a way, you are converting the previously very vague art of seduction to a more logical state which your daily mind can handle...Normally none of this would be necessary...But as I stated above society has wrecked havoc on our social skills...And seduction, in my opinion is slowly became a thing of the past...People nowadays are so "get to it already" we are no longer taking the necessary time needed to pursue anything/anyone...Its understandable, I mean from personal experience, my schedule is packed to the brim...
"And you want me to possibly take a pay cut to engage you in flirting which will nine times out of ten lead to us having sex...How about we just skip the whole flirting part...I've got somewhere to be in an hour"
See this is how I think, and am pretty sure that most of fellow my peers have the same mentality...We barely have time for ourselves...I don't know fam, like I said before these are just my observations...Back to the lesson at hand...I think that the economy is also playing a big role on the diminishing Art Of Seduction...We are too busy trying to make money, pay bills, take care of home...Trying to balance out these known factors with mingling if you will, is nonsense...We have better things to do with our time...I'm gonna stop right here fam, this is slowly turning into a novel on "How Bush Has Fucked America" than what it was intended to be...Breaking loose from the confinement of anti-seduction...To, going after something that if you play your cards right...Is almost a guarantee at the end of the night...I'LL HOLLA...
Update: So fam I have received three e-mails so far as to what the hell I am talking about...I should have stated this before the post...But anyways...Me and the gurls are not just party animals(believe that shyt if ya want to) we actually have some substance...Anyways we usually get together some time of the week to discuss books, life-stories, food, drinks, politics, men with big dicks...Just about anything that is thought provoking...Well this week we are discussing Seduction...Each of us will be discussing our chosen aspect of it...Mine being the effect that society has on the art-form...S.M. will be elaborating on forms of seduction...So forth and so on...Just thought that I would throw that out there...So no, don't send the van with the little white jacket...I don't like vans and though the thought of tight clothing is always appealing to me...I don't think I would look too hot in that jacket...Peace out peoples...
Seduction...Where do I begin...I mean Webster has this definition of which we are meant to believe...I agree for the most part...But since I'm only handling the social aspect of it...I will save my views for the meeting on Friday...
1: the act of seducing; especially : the enticement of a person to sexual intercourse2: something that seduces : temptation3: something that attracts or charms
Seduction is more than enticing someone into sexual intercourse...True its sexy, erotic, sensual, stimulating...But so is any other thing that you can just about think of...From a personal note, I see it as a "stairway" to the ultimate satisfaction...
Seducing has always been a challenge for many men/women in our new generation...Crazy huh seeing as though it takes only a hello to seduce a man...At least thats how I see it...And I have proof...Anyways
Men/Women these days seem to have gone through a cultural change which has stripped their ability to attract and seduce the opposite sex...Seduction, broken down, to a point where it is methodical and predictable, is currently the crutch for the men/woman who otherwise would not have been to naturally embrace the art of seduction...
Why is this the case?...Why have men/women lost their natural ability to seduce the opposite sex?...I can't really really give a honest answer, but I can give a honest opinion...These days, the modern man/woman spends hours a day in a frozen, dumb state...Either in front of a computer, portraying his or her thoughts through a keyboard, watching TV,...People everywhere are being isolated from society...After working for 8 hours(ten in my case) at a computer which only responds to mouse clicks, the mental switch to have a delightful conversation with a beautiful woman or handsome man seems daunting...We must make this switch from ‘logical, isolated, non-creative’ to a more social, imaginative and friendly state...To properly engage in seduction...
In Seduction, there are many ways to make this switch...Though given the time that I have...Only one shall come from my person...
Through understanding the art of seduction, you can lead your mind to perform logical behaviors and gradually switch into a more social, imaginative state...Once you have fully understood the art of seduction, you can actually stay in a fully logical state...which is comfortable to you...and embrace a natural, enticing conversation with a beautiful woman or man...In a way, you are converting the previously very vague art of seduction to a more logical state which your daily mind can handle...Normally none of this would be necessary...But as I stated above society has wrecked havoc on our social skills...And seduction, in my opinion is slowly became a thing of the past...People nowadays are so "get to it already" we are no longer taking the necessary time needed to pursue anything/anyone...Its understandable, I mean from personal experience, my schedule is packed to the brim...
"And you want me to possibly take a pay cut to engage you in flirting which will nine times out of ten lead to us having sex...How about we just skip the whole flirting part...I've got somewhere to be in an hour"
See this is how I think, and am pretty sure that most of fellow my peers have the same mentality...We barely have time for ourselves...I don't know fam, like I said before these are just my observations...Back to the lesson at hand...I think that the economy is also playing a big role on the diminishing Art Of Seduction...We are too busy trying to make money, pay bills, take care of home...Trying to balance out these known factors with mingling if you will, is nonsense...We have better things to do with our time...I'm gonna stop right here fam, this is slowly turning into a novel on "How Bush Has Fucked America" than what it was intended to be...Breaking loose from the confinement of anti-seduction...To, going after something that if you play your cards right...Is almost a guarantee at the end of the night...I'LL HOLLA...
Update: So fam I have received three e-mails so far as to what the hell I am talking about...I should have stated this before the post...But anyways...Me and the gurls are not just party animals(believe that shyt if ya want to) we actually have some substance...Anyways we usually get together some time of the week to discuss books, life-stories, food, drinks, politics, men with big dicks...Just about anything that is thought provoking...Well this week we are discussing Seduction...Each of us will be discussing our chosen aspect of it...Mine being the effect that society has on the art-form...S.M. will be elaborating on forms of seduction...So forth and so on...Just thought that I would throw that out there...So no, don't send the van with the little white jacket...I don't like vans and though the thought of tight clothing is always appealing to me...I don't think I would look too hot in that jacket...Peace out peoples...
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A Slacker, But Damn Good At It...
Okay fam please excuse the possible typos in this post...I'm drunk as hell right now, but this you already knew...
This is the song I was listening to before I started this post(Click on the play button dammit)
So where do I begin...How about this morning...Well this afternoon...Is when I woke my ass up out of the drunken slumber that I was in...1:38 this afternoon to be exact... I was looking at the clock like "Is this a joke, it can't possibly be this damn late"...Usually I'm at work by this time...But ummm, no...There was a little mishap or something this morning... I checked my phone and there was like 50 missed calls/text messages...Get to work a couple hours later...Lied and said I had a appointment...Bounced that bytch a 1/2 hour later...I had another "appointment" to go to...I really didn't feel like working today...Went home and passed out once again...
What time I was pounced upon by Boston and F, I don't know...But it was dark, and raining outside...You know I didn't even notice that she wasn't home this afternoon...A bad mother I know...F took her out for the day...Apparently they had a good time... She looked and smelled like a brand new puppy...Oh and also, the plans I had for the 4th which included me sleeping from Friday until Monday morning have now been changed...So says F...
"You know babe, I was thinking we should REALLY do something at least on Friday"
"Yeah, did you have anything in mind"
"I was thinking we should go fishing"
"Wait a minute...WHAT?!?!?!"
"You know FISHING, it'll be great, and Boston would love it"
"Have you lost your damn mind??? I don't even feed the fish that we have and you want me to go sit at some hot ass pond and feed/try to catch more"
"Pretty much, its very relaxing. You're gonna love it. I promise to make it worth your time"
"Oh no sir, not even dick can convince me to do some lame shit like that."
"Come on honey"
"Nope, and isn't the lake closed on Friday. Shit everythang else is. If I were the fish I'd be like damn ya'll I'm off today"
"It isn't closed. We can go for a couple hours, leave, go home fire up the grill and light up the fireworks I bought for you. You're always talking about blowing some shyt up, heres your chance"
"Sold to the sexy ass whyte boy in the tight man bobbie highlighting Polo"
So yes fam, I'm going fishing on Friday...I am not looking forward to it...The hell I look like...I WILL be out there with the boojieness expanded to the tenth power...Fuck a damn fish...I'm too sexy for that shyt...But I love his ass, and he promised to let me blow something up...So y'all pray for me in my attempt to defy the laws of nature by fishing in heels and a halter top...Fuck this shyt...I'LL HOLLA!!!
This is the song I was listening to before I started this post(Click on the play button dammit)
So where do I begin...How about this morning...Well this afternoon...Is when I woke my ass up out of the drunken slumber that I was in...1:38 this afternoon to be exact... I was looking at the clock like "Is this a joke, it can't possibly be this damn late"...Usually I'm at work by this time...But ummm, no...There was a little mishap or something this morning... I checked my phone and there was like 50 missed calls/text messages...Get to work a couple hours later...Lied and said I had a appointment...Bounced that bytch a 1/2 hour later...I had another "appointment" to go to...I really didn't feel like working today...Went home and passed out once again...
What time I was pounced upon by Boston and F, I don't know...But it was dark, and raining outside...You know I didn't even notice that she wasn't home this afternoon...A bad mother I know...F took her out for the day...Apparently they had a good time... She looked and smelled like a brand new puppy...Oh and also, the plans I had for the 4th which included me sleeping from Friday until Monday morning have now been changed...So says F...
"You know babe, I was thinking we should REALLY do something at least on Friday"
"Yeah, did you have anything in mind"
"I was thinking we should go fishing"
"Wait a minute...WHAT?!?!?!"
"You know FISHING, it'll be great, and Boston would love it"
"Have you lost your damn mind??? I don't even feed the fish that we have and you want me to go sit at some hot ass pond and feed/try to catch more"
"Pretty much, its very relaxing. You're gonna love it. I promise to make it worth your time"
"Oh no sir, not even dick can convince me to do some lame shit like that."
"Come on honey"
"Nope, and isn't the lake closed on Friday. Shit everythang else is. If I were the fish I'd be like damn ya'll I'm off today"
"It isn't closed. We can go for a couple hours, leave, go home fire up the grill and light up the fireworks I bought for you. You're always talking about blowing some shyt up, heres your chance"
"Sold to the sexy ass whyte boy in the tight man bobbie highlighting Polo"
So yes fam, I'm going fishing on Friday...I am not looking forward to it...The hell I look like...I WILL be out there with the boojieness expanded to the tenth power...Fuck a damn fish...I'm too sexy for that shyt...But I love his ass, and he promised to let me blow something up...So y'all pray for me in my attempt to defy the laws of nature by fishing in heels and a halter top...Fuck this shyt...I'LL HOLLA!!!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Trouble In Paradise...
So I know that you want to know how the fabulousness that is T's weekend went...Don't worry I won't make you wait any longer...Friday night was the Pleasure Party...The host(not SM, we just used her place) was kinda lame, so I grew bored with it quickly...Bounced the spot, took my black ass home and passed out...Saturday morning, we filled up the tanks and hit the road...Maybe like an hour & half later we made it to our destination, Denver... Had a quick breakfast...Let the shopping begin, matter of fact I was hit on(at least I think so, SM was like "She's just complimenting your jeans", yeah right...Of course I think that everyone is hitting on me, and the chick was looking quite nice, yep she could get it) in a boutique... We grew a little hungry from the shopping and by now it was around six, so it was time for dinner...Lets see, we dined at Restaurant Kevin Taylor...Nothing exciting happened, just a bunch of drunks sitting around talking about SEX, MONEY, and MEN, you know the usual...Finished up, put on our naughty girl smiles, along with the freak-um dresses and touched down at ENVYNUDE...OMG, I love this place, free drinks and so much more...Got relaxed and then the texting began...I sent the mans a text stating my status, a few minutes later I received one, so I'm like cool its just him...I was wrong...One of my exes(I say one because I was texting two of them last night) sends me this text asking me if I miss him...So I replied back with the "Nah, but I do miss those juicy pussy lips of yours", this little war went on for like 20 minutes...Moving right along shall we...Apparently, this motivated me to send a friendly "whats up to the second ex" which quickly turned into text sex...Which is shocking because I thought the man hated my ass, that or he was horny...I woke up this morning, checked the Curve to see if there was any missed calls/text and immediately the words OMG came out of my mouth...The Mans walks in, he was already up getting ready, and I told him what happened...And pissed he became, but not really pissed at the word texts(cause he knows that I'm not going anywhere), more so the picture...Yes, I sent a pic of the lady miss to the second ex and vice versa...In my defense I stated "Its not like he hasn't seen it before", bad idea...So now I'm in the dog house...Its actually not that bad in here, I've gotten some hugs and kisses, even a foot massage...But I can tell by his eyes that he's still a little salty about the situation...So imma just do what I do best, wrap my lips around that 8 inch dick of his and make it disappear...Magic I tell you...Well thats it world...I'LL HOLLA
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Say It Now...
Since my drankin buddy is passed out from numerous coontini's, my man is still at work along with my peeps, I have nothing else to do besides watch The Beyonce' Experience for the fifth time, drank myself into an oblivion and blog. Now before I get out whatever it is that I'm going to blog about today, I just want to tell Ms. Winehouse this.
F U Man, you have been replaced with a new singing sensation, and though it hurts me to say this, she's hotter. True, Back To Black was in heavy rotation for a hot minute, until your ass started singing racist hymns and shit. I was cool with all the drankin and drug use, but for this no forgiveness shall be given *SMH* Why Amy, that's okay cause DUFFY is now leading the Real Music Movement on my Zune.
Ahhh, this is crazy, for a woman who has an opinion on everything, I have nothing to talk about. So here's what I'm gonna do, stalk a few favorite sites for a while, and when I return I promise to have some interesting thought to speak on. Wait just a little while longer, for I shall return....
*Insert Long Pause*
And Viola I'm back... Did you miss me?... Well I found some very interesting things. Lets see, shall I talk about Fitty & His Baby Mama...
Nah cause everytime I see this man I just want to get NAKED. True the mofo looks like the Guerilla of his unit...But that BODY of his... I'm just gonna stay away. So maybe I will discuss the War...
Nah, I'll save my political views for another time... Now just maybe I will discuss Exes And The Need/Want To Continually Speak With Them.
Sounds good to me, but where do I begin, umm lets see. As many of you may know I was once married, crazy I know, the thought of my very flirtatious, ass/penis groping of random men, lying to get free dranks ass, being MARRIED is hilarious. Probably think that Jesus himself would've slapped me at the alter for the mockery, but the lady T-Bone is very much committed when a commitment is present.
Lets tackle this topic a little shall we... This will be brief, cause I've got to find something to eat before I pass out from dehydration. I guess an all liquid diet only works if you drink things other than alcohol, but I digress...
Yes, I was married, and did my ex husband communicate with his exes, yes. Did he lie about it, yes. Was I cool with him doing this, no, but this was only a minor glitch in our entire marriage. Thing is, I was a little salty about him speaking with the chicks, but the lying about is what made matters worst. Whats a marriage if there's no trust besides constant second guessing. Was this the reason that I decided to play past ways with him... It was definitely part of the reason...
Lets see, it was the lying on both parts, the cheating on both parts, the frustration of both parts, that quickly turned into the hating of each other... Hate is such a strong word, lets just say a STRONG DISLIKE... Did we try, damn right, but it just wasn't enough. My mind had already made up my heart's mind. So I left, it was just too much for me. Now do I still communicate with him, not really... Its more on the lines of "Hey Bitch, How Ya Doing", and keeps it moving. I just don't understand how so much anger could be present after its all said and done with a person in which you loved. Maybe its that you hate the fact that you once loved/still do this person and just don't know what to do with these emotions but ship them into the sea of anger... I don't know, this is just my thoughts on it...
Well I'm about to hit up Wendy's for one of them spicy chicken sammaches, So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!
P.S. I tried to do a remake of this Janet Jackson performance on the mans... and well...
We didn't really have the set-up like she did, so it was me climbing atop of his ass on the kitchen counter... well I'm not as flexible as I thought I was, slipped, fell on my knees, but played that shit off like I was trying to seduce him into hitting it from the back. But I do have that riding part down to a T. Good Times!
F U Man, you have been replaced with a new singing sensation, and though it hurts me to say this, she's hotter. True, Back To Black was in heavy rotation for a hot minute, until your ass started singing racist hymns and shit. I was cool with all the drankin and drug use, but for this no forgiveness shall be given *SMH* Why Amy, that's okay cause DUFFY is now leading the Real Music Movement on my Zune.
Ahhh, this is crazy, for a woman who has an opinion on everything, I have nothing to talk about. So here's what I'm gonna do, stalk a few favorite sites for a while, and when I return I promise to have some interesting thought to speak on. Wait just a little while longer, for I shall return....
*Insert Long Pause*
And Viola I'm back... Did you miss me?... Well I found some very interesting things. Lets see, shall I talk about Fitty & His Baby Mama...
Nah cause everytime I see this man I just want to get NAKED. True the mofo looks like the Guerilla of his unit...But that BODY of his... I'm just gonna stay away. So maybe I will discuss the War...
Nah, I'll save my political views for another time... Now just maybe I will discuss Exes And The Need/Want To Continually Speak With Them.
Sounds good to me, but where do I begin, umm lets see. As many of you may know I was once married, crazy I know, the thought of my very flirtatious, ass/penis groping of random men, lying to get free dranks ass, being MARRIED is hilarious. Probably think that Jesus himself would've slapped me at the alter for the mockery, but the lady T-Bone is very much committed when a commitment is present.
Lets tackle this topic a little shall we... This will be brief, cause I've got to find something to eat before I pass out from dehydration. I guess an all liquid diet only works if you drink things other than alcohol, but I digress...
Yes, I was married, and did my ex husband communicate with his exes, yes. Did he lie about it, yes. Was I cool with him doing this, no, but this was only a minor glitch in our entire marriage. Thing is, I was a little salty about him speaking with the chicks, but the lying about is what made matters worst. Whats a marriage if there's no trust besides constant second guessing. Was this the reason that I decided to play past ways with him... It was definitely part of the reason...
Lets see, it was the lying on both parts, the cheating on both parts, the frustration of both parts, that quickly turned into the hating of each other... Hate is such a strong word, lets just say a STRONG DISLIKE... Did we try, damn right, but it just wasn't enough. My mind had already made up my heart's mind. So I left, it was just too much for me. Now do I still communicate with him, not really... Its more on the lines of "Hey Bitch, How Ya Doing", and keeps it moving. I just don't understand how so much anger could be present after its all said and done with a person in which you loved. Maybe its that you hate the fact that you once loved/still do this person and just don't know what to do with these emotions but ship them into the sea of anger... I don't know, this is just my thoughts on it...
Well I'm about to hit up Wendy's for one of them spicy chicken sammaches, So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!
P.S. I tried to do a remake of this Janet Jackson performance on the mans... and well...
We didn't really have the set-up like she did, so it was me climbing atop of his ass on the kitchen counter... well I'm not as flexible as I thought I was, slipped, fell on my knees, but played that shit off like I was trying to seduce him into hitting it from the back. But I do have that riding part down to a T. Good Times!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Fear Of Commitment....
Yes, I'm working on it. Normally by this time I would have found some kind of way to sabotage the relationship that I'm currently in because, well I don't have a good enough excuse. "I don't see myself being with you any longer," is what two of the exes heard, but all the while I was thinking "he's smothering me, I NEED MY SPACE." Fucked up, I know, but Men today just don't give me the want & need to want & need them, well besides my man of course, but more on him later. I mean most of the men that I have been with serious with, a total of three to be exact, were decent, hell one wowed me enough to marry him, but as I look back, neither one stood a chance. Men today are too soft, irresponsible, scared, immature, confused and etc. Lets elaborate on each of my convictions a little shall we.....
Too Soft- Kanye 'Nuff Said
Irresponsible- I was just on one of my favorite sites O Hell Nawl, so many comments on the "Behold A Lady" thread touched me but a single moms cry shook me to the core. I mean what ever happened to society(Men, This is a Man's World Isn't It) standing by women, praising her because she bears life, loving her, protecting her, respecting her, lifting her higher, the words bitch and hoe wouldn't have even been uttered to a notoriously known whore, Why you say, out of the respect and fact that she is a Woman. The "Children Having Children" rate would be diminished out of the fact that Fathers would actually play a part in their lives, therefore relinquishing the phenomena of "Single Moms." But whats in the past is only a mere reflection of the present. To actually have men "Step Up To The Plate" is a little too much to ask now is it, they would rather degrade women in musical lyrics and million dollar videos(true we allow this to occur, but as men, supposed leaders, a line should be drawn), impregnate us only to leave when the words are uttered, and etc... Don't get me wrong there may be a lot of men out there in which this has absolutely nothing to do with, but pretty much the majority of men nowadays fall into at least one of the categories. Moving on now shall we....
Scared- Now this is just my observation of Black Men, being that I'm black, and the only "outside of race" relationship that I've been in is my current one. I once asked a male friend of mine what is it about other race women that attracts you to them more than a black woman? The answer I received was shocking and in my opinion just insane, "See with a black woman, more work is involved, its harder to please her. Now with chicks of other races, they settle, happier with what you give them and you don't have to work so hard to get the ass." What!?!?! I've never... Don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against interracial dating but the thought of a black man not wanting anything to do with a black woman because she isn't "easy" in all aspects of a relationship makes me a little salty.
Immature- I think my notion above pretty much sums up this one too.
Confused And Etc- I'm filing the DL situation under this one. Men, Men, Men, please decide on as to what it is exactly that you want. Stop making us suffer from the lies, pain, and in some cases diseases because either you're to scared to admit to this or ashamed. Either way, please stop. So many of my sisters are dying because of your pride, and your ego's, when are you going to realize this? If you are man enough to get low, than be man enough to let us know something, please, for the sake of the continuation of "Beautiful Black People", and all others.
Now that I have given a little more insight as to why I usually bash all of my relationships, let me just say that this was never a problem to me, because I had my reasons. Now being in my current relationship, for once, I'm willing to work on this little flaw that I have. For once I am seeing that there is hope for the male species out there, and this is one relationship I won't be ending because of my fear of commitment. So for those who were wondering why I Bitch-slapped him this morning, well, cause I can damnit... Had to let him know who the boss is at all times, work, play, shit it don't matter. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!
Too Soft- Kanye 'Nuff Said
Irresponsible- I was just on one of my favorite sites O Hell Nawl, so many comments on the "Behold A Lady" thread touched me but a single moms cry shook me to the core. I mean what ever happened to society(Men, This is a Man's World Isn't It) standing by women, praising her because she bears life, loving her, protecting her, respecting her, lifting her higher, the words bitch and hoe wouldn't have even been uttered to a notoriously known whore, Why you say, out of the respect and fact that she is a Woman. The "Children Having Children" rate would be diminished out of the fact that Fathers would actually play a part in their lives, therefore relinquishing the phenomena of "Single Moms." But whats in the past is only a mere reflection of the present. To actually have men "Step Up To The Plate" is a little too much to ask now is it, they would rather degrade women in musical lyrics and million dollar videos(true we allow this to occur, but as men, supposed leaders, a line should be drawn), impregnate us only to leave when the words are uttered, and etc... Don't get me wrong there may be a lot of men out there in which this has absolutely nothing to do with, but pretty much the majority of men nowadays fall into at least one of the categories. Moving on now shall we....
Scared- Now this is just my observation of Black Men, being that I'm black, and the only "outside of race" relationship that I've been in is my current one. I once asked a male friend of mine what is it about other race women that attracts you to them more than a black woman? The answer I received was shocking and in my opinion just insane, "See with a black woman, more work is involved, its harder to please her. Now with chicks of other races, they settle, happier with what you give them and you don't have to work so hard to get the ass." What!?!?! I've never... Don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against interracial dating but the thought of a black man not wanting anything to do with a black woman because she isn't "easy" in all aspects of a relationship makes me a little salty.
Immature- I think my notion above pretty much sums up this one too.
Confused And Etc- I'm filing the DL situation under this one. Men, Men, Men, please decide on as to what it is exactly that you want. Stop making us suffer from the lies, pain, and in some cases diseases because either you're to scared to admit to this or ashamed. Either way, please stop. So many of my sisters are dying because of your pride, and your ego's, when are you going to realize this? If you are man enough to get low, than be man enough to let us know something, please, for the sake of the continuation of "Beautiful Black People", and all others.
Now that I have given a little more insight as to why I usually bash all of my relationships, let me just say that this was never a problem to me, because I had my reasons. Now being in my current relationship, for once, I'm willing to work on this little flaw that I have. For once I am seeing that there is hope for the male species out there, and this is one relationship I won't be ending because of my fear of commitment. So for those who were wondering why I Bitch-slapped him this morning, well, cause I can damnit... Had to let him know who the boss is at all times, work, play, shit it don't matter. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!
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