What A Year...

Well its about that time once again...Time to let go of the old and bring in the new...This is gonna be short and sweet, I'm currently in between outfits and beds, but I digress...Anyways I present to you "The List"...Which is basically a list of several post that we decided were the all time hotties of 2008...Enjoy peeps...

Numero 5: Georgy Porgy...Puddin Pie...This little hot number made the list only because I didn't (or at least don't think so) speak of not one vulgar word...I'm such a fucking lady...

Numero 4: Or Could It Be...Well fam this was a no brainer ...I swear this broad has no gatt damn sense...But this of course you already know...

Numero 3:This Marriage Is In Trouble...I Think We Need Counseling......Ahhh, the infamous ode to my first love Music...Need I say more...

Numero 2: Number Two...First...Nothing to see here folks, move it on along...Jk, this little number is a bit too hot to try, and is only for the daring...To be honest with ya, this particular one wasn't my choice, the freak that is my BFF ranked it high so I'll give it second place...

Drumroll please...And now I present to you our all time favorite post(s) of 2008...Wow this was indeed a tough decision but we were able to narrow it down to just two...So, yes we have a tie...the first one being of course my favorite post Go On Boy...And of course the BFF chooses Number One...First...

Dear 2008, I'm so sad to see you go, I mean we've spent 366 (leap year bitches) days together and I must admit that I've grown quite fond of you and your surprises...Yeah its been an eventful time, but I must move on...I know that this is the end, and I've made peace with that, but can you do me a favor and inform 2009 that he belongs to me...I've already claimed my better being in this new year, and nothing shall stand in my way...Just so there aren't any surprises...Deuces fam, and sincerely from the bottom of my heart I wish you nothing but goodwill, prosperity, love, and all that good shit in the year to come...May it be just as wonderful if not better than mine...

Humph...

I LIVE BY THIS SHIT!!!...Nuff Said



Did I eva tell ya how much I love that bitch that goes by the name of Keyshia Cole...She's ghetto as fuck, but can sing her ass off...Anyways dis here track by the name of "Thought You Should Know", off her new hot ass album "A Different Me" is fiya...Enjoy...





And with all randomness I present "Go On Boy"...I don't know fam, but for some reason this is quickly becoming one of my favorite posts...Also I've decided to end this year with "The List"...Basically a compilation of my fav posts of the year...I'm lazy, this I know...

Don't Ask Why

High Times...

I'm currently higher than a giraffe's ass right now, so I will admit that this post will absolutely be a total random one...whatever comes to mind is what you get...Firstly, I was asked a few days ago "Do you feel small standing next to oceans"...I will admit, I basically blew it off cause the shit didn't make sense at the time, but after giving it much thought, I would have to say no, I don't...maybe its cause I'm too fucking conceited...

I can't think of any "Leo's" in my family...Gonna do some investigating...Live for the moment, don't hold onto stuff...Fuck pink, where's the purple...Ultimate orgasm, I mean really is there such a thing...And if so, I truly wouldn't want to experience it...Having a regular O for me is already unsafe enough as it is due to me wailing my arms around frantically with the thunder thighs shaking so much a bitch can get a reading off the richter scale...No gracias on that ultimate orgasm stuff...

Odd(numbers), like why is it odd?...its a typical number...but I guess because the whole couple factor isn't there that makes it odd...Joining the mile-high club was so worth me pulling a damn muscle...You only live once...Believe it or not, I would mos def take my wants over my needs...Call it immaturity or whatever, but being "satisfied" is sooo fucking appeasing...I mean we all have needs, but actually getting what you want has a bit more power over your person...I know personally I feel as though I've achieved something anytime my wants are fulfilled...Like the definite (at the moment) satisfaction...

I've had a few and I mean few booty calls/one night stands...Fuck, and goodluck...I'm such a heartbreaker...Got to get my truck registration...My first love, a boy by the name of Kirby who had a big dick...We were in the first grade, I know, I know, I became a whore before I learned Algebra...Don't judge me,lmao...Whisper in my ear and I am done, a total turn on...I love taking pictures cause these bitches wanna be me...I love calling YOU daddy...Seriously why are there all these unnecessary letters in the word "queued"...All you need is the Q and the D...I mean really, whoever came up with that word must have been trying to compensate for something...Just a Q and a D, don't forget the apostrophe, jackasses...

LMAO...

Yeah this is some funny shyt...Kinda reminds me of how my drunk ass stumbled to bed "the morning after"...Classic...

Oldie But Goodie

Since I feel like being a bum today, lets just post some ignance.



O-Mothafucking-Le'. But not every one stans for our mischeif :(



But then again, no one on the corner has swagga like us.



*Shudders* Yep, so lets play a little game of "Wheres The Bitches", kinda like Wheres Waldo, but more sexier. Your job is to locate the two infamous bitches of this blog in the first gif. Don't worry, I will leave a clue, we both were dancing, good luck peoples.

Wait...Wait...Wait...

You mean to tell me we have done a hundred of these mofos all ready...Oh no man this is a joke...No way possible we are at a hundred and haven't got not nah, not one e-mail, fax, stamped letter saying that we should shut down house or the feds goin do an invasion...LMAO, yo fam, today is the day like David Spade, and tonight is the night like Betty Wright...Never thought that we would see the day, but your oh so fabulous bitches that despise snitches are proud to say we made it to 100 mothafucking posts(though I did most of the work, that other heffa came in at the end, and expecting some cut)...To be honest I really don't know why we are suppose to be celebrating this, but apparently to Blogger and Bloggers this is a big deal...I honestly don't give a fuck, but we goin go ahead and keep the peace...Now, if you don't know how the misses and the gang celebrates or maybe even just forgot, let me school ya a lil bit...There will be lots of drankin...and I do mean lots, I have the tolerance of a bull...Lots of smoking, no need to elaborate, and whatever the hell else comes to mind(mainly just watch youtube videos and laugh our asses off)...In honor of such a joyous event, why not play a clip from one of my fav D.V.D's...Oh and no victory will be complete without thanking the people behind the scenes of this awful movie of a blog we got going...So yes Fam, thanks a million, for without your, what are we up to averaging like four views a day, this blog would be lamer than The Pussycat Dolls...HOLLA!!!

Breaking Mothafuckin News

*trying to compose myself, cause its not funny, but then again just imagining what Really happened in the Wal-Mart(is the devil) parking lot with the misses and the little lady that just about totaled her big boy Caddy, is getting the best of me. So I receive a call about lets say about three hours ago of who I thought was the misses, and was, but the pissed off version. Man, when I tell you this is not one chick you want to piss off, believe that shit. You know how those Louisianans are with that voodoo and shit, I don't fucks with em, lol. So, I pick up the phone and all I hear is her yelling "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it", over and over again. I was like who the fuck are you talking about and who hit what. Still, "the bitch fucking hit it, the bitch fucking hit it". By this time I was ready to hang up thinking that she was having a bad trip off the weed or something until she came out with the slurred version of what really happened. "The bitch fucking hit my truck, I'm in so much pain right now", and immediately fear just shot through my spine. I was thinking, because of the way she was talking, that she was hurt or possibly severely injured, but umm no. Thing is, from what I was told she was shopping in Wal-Mart only to come out to half of her truck just smashed. I honestly don't know how this is possible, I mean its not like she drives one of those Barbie doll cars, so whoever it was must have had like one of those ol school military hummers that can drive through buildings and shit. I've got the feeling she's gonna do something crazy tonight in retaliation, and I of course will be the one bailing her punk ass out. Lets rewind back to the good ol days(about a week ago) when life was good and the misses watched "I Love The Fishes" for the first time, enjoy.

The Morning After...

Halloween of course...What y'all thought I forgot about that shit...Hells no, lets just say a bitch was looking rather rough...I mean ROUGH...I really don't too much remember that night, but heres a quote(text) from the BFF as to what exactly she saw...

*Insert at least 15 prior texts*

"Wow thats classic...Sort of like for Halloween your fat ass got so messed up...Fucking woke up in the closet with makeup smeared, hair everyone, one heel on, fucking fishnets stuck to hangers and shit...Bitch yo ass was looking like the joker off batman and shit...Fucking Jose and Spliff fucked yo ass royally...Shit I can't talk though...I burned my damn hand on them bricks from the fireplace, didn't feel that shit til the next day...Apparently a bitch got thirsty and decided to sit on the counter...Fucking woke up with a glass of OJ in one hand and a leg on the sink...Good mothafucking times bitch...Thats why you're in my will."


Random: I'm Such A Fatty

Keep On

"I Got The Shit To Make Your Ass Write A Bad Check"...OMG this is a classic...Fucking Mc Lyte at her best...Enjoy

Somebody Told Me...

"Misses, just live your life...This world is too fucked up as it is, don't relish on the good ol days...Tomorrow ain't promised bitch. To say fuck you/it/them/him/her and actually mean that shit is not only a sentence enhancer but a natural stress reliever and on occasion an afrodisiac...Do you bitch, and mothafuck the haters"

Take a wild guess as to who spoke this to me...All I ask of you is to just live your life...

Marriage Sucks

Everyone knows (or at least I think so) how I feel about commitment, let alone marriage, and no its not a matter of immaturity, addiction, or any other classification of my choices that in all honesty can't be classified. I'm just ME, and can't possibly fathom being with one person until, well until. With nothing but respect for those who make that decision, its just not my thing. So, of course I'm gonna find humor in wedding mishaps. Its kinda my past time, jk, but I live for a good accident, mishap, or anything that involves mofos busting their asses, getting bitch slapped, antiqued, ruining coffee tables, and such. Long story short, the misses emailed a video of a wedding ceremony gone wrong, naturally I laughed cause, well I won't spoil it. In-te-hoo, after viewing the hilariousness, I decided to view some of the commentary as well, and I must say that "White America", and feel free to kiss my ass for the generalization, has no gatt damn sense of humor. True, its a very special moment of your life and should be perfect, blah, blah, blah, but come on, lighten up. I know personally, if something like this were to happen at a Hispanic, or even Black wedding not one soul in that mofo would have silenced the laughter, cause well, thats what we do, laugh at funny shit. Oh and don't take my word for it, here is some of the commentary.

mitchberry24 (1 day ago)

how did they deserve it! The guy was a priest! And the girl was the bride!
(Come on man, God has a sense of humor, hence the mishap)

zabciazln (4 days ago)

Man I would kill that dude if that would be me
(Wow, is it that serious? Now I would mos def cause bodily harm to a skank over some lemonade jelly beans, but not neva over, well just watch the video)

lanrem (5 days ago)

The groom is not worth his salt...He should have jumped in after her in a heartbeat!
So much for, "I love you with all my soul"

(*With a puzzled look on my face* Ummm, no comment)

Yep, truly corny mofos. Forgive me white people for I have *proceeds to count on one hand*(oh the irony) some white friends, I think. Maybe its just me, but "White America" tickles the shit out of me. Do these mofo's really think that having Stretch-Armstrong and a MILF(Yes, indeed I would) as the next president is a master plan. Uggg, the stupidity and wrong post, lets get back to it shall we. Point of this rant, what "others" may find funny, I'm sure Lucy or Becky won't. In their minds, once again bite me for the generalization, the thought of Kyle or Steve busting their asses is no funny matter. And to that I say with a look of seriousness, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

The video in question, now tell me this isn't some funny shit.


LMAO, I don't see why she was so upset. If it was me, I would have forced the misses to throw some instant jello into that bitch, and made it a night to remember. Speaking of which,


And I'm out this bitch!!!!!!

I Got 5 On It

Yo, peoples, I know this is a bit late, but better than never I always say. In-te-hoo, this will be short, there will only be post from myself the upcoming week. The misses has mid-terms or some shit like that, so get ready. Why don't we kick this off with a bang, I shall be doing a little of this myself tonight, enjoy.

WTF

So, right now I have a headache from hell...Maybe its from crashing from the damn sugar rush I get because of the munchies...I need a new hobby...Anyhoo, this is one of my fav videos to watch post-smoketivity...Still to this day, its hilarious...