Booty Shakin With My Glass In My Left One...Right Hand Sayin Step Son...

Thats right ya'll its Friday bitches, and Ladies Night in some parts. Time to dust the wood wheel off and let ya screens relax. Personally imma stop by the job, say whats up and head straight to the bar. Its been a rough week, and what better way to celebrate than consuming hundreds of dollars worth of likka, shaking yo ass with ya girls/boys, and passing out on yo deck. I can't think of anything better. My ass Will be glued to the front pew on Sunday asking for forgiveness for the things that are gonna go down this weekend... Oh Hells Mothafuckin Yes!!!! I'LL HOLLA BITCHES!!!

You're My Number One, Number One, Number One...

I know today is National Gettin Some Head Day, but I decided to take a break for JUST a bit. Give the man a chance to recuperate, drink some water, and apply some lip balm. Poor baby, imma give him a neck massage tonight, he's over in the corner in the fetal position possibly praying that I'll get drunk and pass out so we don't have to continue the shenanigans...

You know what I realized today... My job consumes me... I mean this is the first time in a while that I've had two consecutive days off in a row...Of me actually not doing anything work related, I.E. calling every five minutes to check the status, make sure no one burned the place down, nobody beat the shit out of someone, conference calls... Yep the first time in a long time...

Bet you think that I was able to get alot of personal things that needed to be done out of the way...HELLS NO... Lets see what did I do yesterday...That's right, I was blogging/stalking yesterday, drankin, watching VH1 Soul...Fuck paying the cable bill...That shit could wait...

Today, well pretty much the same occurred, except Mr.Wright didn't go to work today cause I promised him that I would pleasure him all day today... More like him pleasuring me... Shit its been a while since we've done things that's only mentioned in some old freaks bridge game...And I didn't have a drop of likka(until dinner) today... I needed to be well hydrated for that ass, so there wouldn't be any excuses...

Took this long, steamy bath right after the AC guy left... You know last night wasn't that bad... I didn't think I was gonna survive with the AC being broke and all, but we opened the doors to the balcony...And I was good, scared somebody was goin rob our asses for sleeping with the balcony door open all night, but good...

Lit every candle that we own... Turned on some Sade', I like the bitch and all, but Mr. Wright has this weird fascination with her... I just can't get into the mood, when I'm listening to lyrics such as "In heavens name, why are you running away, hang on to your love"... Did I say I was going anywhere?... Or my all time favorite depressing hit from Madam Sade' "Sittin here waitin on you, will be like waiting for Winter"...Have you lost your mind, mofo I'm not waitin to cum, shit you can if you like but I REFUSE... Personally I prefer some Johnny Gill, Silk, Freddie Jackson...Yes I know they're all gay, but "My My My", "Rock Me Tonight", or "Lets Make Love" is the type of shit that I wanna hear... But for love sacrifices must be made...

Did some laundry... Now you make think that washing clothes is NOT ROMANTIC...*puts on naughty grin*... I begs to differ...

Took a nap... hell even Superman took a break... woke up... Ate a delicious meal of Shrimp Primavera, Had this lovely Apricot Bavarian for dessert, and guzzled it down with wine... What type/kind/flavor I don't know I was too busy dancing on top of the table cause Mystikal's "Shake Your Ass" came on... All I know is that it was in a black bottle with piercing red letters...

You know to say he's a whyte boy, my baby has so much class and SOUL... He's the only man that I've ever been with such warmth and consideration. Alot of folks are intimidated by him at first cause he's this 6'5 pushing 270 pounds, very muscular mofo, but deep down he's just a big ass lovebug...My LoveBug...My Number One, Number One, Number One...

Well I'll Be Damned...

Supposedly This Is The Type Of Capricorn That I Am... I Totally Fucking Agree...

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

I Hereby Declare Today National Gettin Some Head Day...

So wrap you're lips around someones innermost parts, or vice versa...That is all...

*Puts On Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up"*
"Come Here Baby We Needs To Talk"

Say It Now...

Since my drankin buddy is passed out from numerous coontini's, my man is still at work along with my peeps, I have nothing else to do besides watch The Beyonce' Experience for the fifth time, drank myself into an oblivion and blog. Now before I get out whatever it is that I'm going to blog about today, I just want to tell Ms. Winehouse this.

F U Man, you have been replaced with a new singing sensation, and though it hurts me to say this, she's hotter. True, Back To Black was in heavy rotation for a hot minute, until your ass started singing racist hymns and shit. I was cool with all the drankin and drug use, but for this no forgiveness shall be given *SMH* Why Amy, that's okay cause DUFFY is now leading the Real Music Movement on my Zune.

Ahhh, this is crazy, for a woman who has an opinion on everything, I have nothing to talk about. So here's what I'm gonna do, stalk a few favorite sites for a while, and when I return I promise to have some interesting thought to speak on. Wait just a little while longer, for I shall return....

*Insert Long Pause*

And Viola I'm back... Did you miss me?... Well I found some very interesting things. Lets see, shall I talk about Fitty & His Baby Mama...
Nah cause everytime I see this man I just want to get NAKED. True the mofo looks like the Guerilla of his unit...But that BODY of his... I'm just gonna stay away. So maybe I will discuss the War...
Nah, I'll save my political views for another time... Now just maybe I will discuss Exes And The Need/Want To Continually Speak With Them.

Sounds good to me, but where do I begin, umm lets see. As many of you may know I was once married, crazy I know, the thought of my very flirtatious, ass/penis groping of random men, lying to get free dranks ass, being MARRIED is hilarious. Probably think that Jesus himself would've slapped me at the alter for the mockery, but the lady T-Bone is very much committed when a commitment is present.

Lets tackle this topic a little shall we... This will be brief, cause I've got to find something to eat before I pass out from dehydration. I guess an all liquid diet only works if you drink things other than alcohol, but I digress...

Yes, I was married, and did my ex husband communicate with his exes, yes. Did he lie about it, yes. Was I cool with him doing this, no, but this was only a minor glitch in our entire marriage. Thing is, I was a little salty about him speaking with the chicks, but the lying about is what made matters worst. Whats a marriage if there's no trust besides constant second guessing. Was this the reason that I decided to play past ways with him... It was definitely part of the reason...

Lets see, it was the lying on both parts, the cheating on both parts, the frustration of both parts, that quickly turned into the hating of each other... Hate is such a strong word, lets just say a STRONG DISLIKE... Did we try, damn right, but it just wasn't enough. My mind had already made up my heart's mind. So I left, it was just too much for me. Now do I still communicate with him, not really... Its more on the lines of "Hey Bitch, How Ya Doing", and keeps it moving. I just don't understand how so much anger could be present after its all said and done with a person in which you loved. Maybe its that you hate the fact that you once loved/still do this person and just don't know what to do with these emotions but ship them into the sea of anger... I don't know, this is just my thoughts on it...

Well I'm about to hit up Wendy's for one of them spicy chicken sammaches, So Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!


P.S. I tried to do a remake of this Janet Jackson performance on the mans... and well...


We didn't really have the set-up like she did, so it was me climbing atop of his ass on the kitchen counter... well I'm not as flexible as I thought I was, slipped, fell on my knees, but played that shit off like I was trying to seduce him into hitting it from the back. But I do have that riding part down to a T. Good Times!

You Know What I Hate...

So I decided that I wanted to play this little game called "You know what I hate". The rules are real simple, all you have to do is say "you know what I hate" before each statement below. I wanted to go ahead and put this out there so mofos won't think that I'm illiterate and shyt cause I'm using fragments of sentences. But lets get this party started shall we...

When mothafuckas call or come by after the alloted times that I specifically have set aside for bullshittin around. Everyone knows that I am only available between the hours of 10pm and 1am mountain time, cause generally after that time I'm usually drunk, and even if you do get a hold of me, how the fuck you can understand a word I'm saying is a mystery to me, passed out from all the likka I've consumed in record time, fucking(I won't go into details), watching spongebob(and I will not be disturbed), at work or doing a combination of each. It may sound impossible, but I knows how to coordinate.

Waking up with a death-hangover. I have been doing pretty good lately, but THIS MORNING... I thought I was dying. I got so messed up last night, I woke up and couldn't see out of one eye, bytch was freakin out thinkin I was goin have to be like Ray Charles, mad cause he can't find Waldo.

The fact that I LOVES going to see the mans at work. I actually thought it was gonna be boring the first time that I went considering that he's an architect and all. A bunch of blue-prints, measuring tapes, and shyt lying around, but it was completely different. I actually had the chance to see, computer generated of course, some of his plans in action. Pretty damn amazing. I'm so proud of him.

Dirty, fat, stanky, mothafuckas. You know the mothafuckas that you see coming, and say to yourself, Thank God...Or maybe its just me. But anyways, that shit turns my stomach. So if you're either of the above, please do us all a favor and a)take a bath/shower, whatever it is that you would normally do to get the funk off, b)(Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problem or quarrels with those who's weight is inclined, this is addressed to those who are and is doing nothing about the problem at hand)) Diet & Exercise, pretty simple huh, c)In addition to A, please add a little soap to this process, it just won't be the same without it.

My laptop right now. Apparently I broke my CD/DVR drive, how, I don't know, but I have to replace it. Life without me burning CD's or DVD's is just so normal, and I don't like it one bit.

Going into Neiman's and having the same old bitch eyeing me throughout my entire shopping experience. I can understand one time, cause let's just be honest, thats what they are trained to do "spot out the niggas, and follow their asses around", but everytime I go, thats just ridiculous. I mean I DO go in that bytch lookin real "ghetto" in some sweats, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, but thats only because I like to be comfortable while I'm shopping. Theres no way in hell I'm walking around a store in spaghetti thin 6 in. heels, no fucking way.

Wal-Mart, and with a vengeance. I hate going to this place cause normally what would take me only five minutes to get in another store, takes me six damn hours to get here. I get up to the register to buy the trashbags or some other random item and lo and behold, someones complaining about prices, or quantity, food, candy, baby shit... I fucking hate that damn place.

My bank, and their fucking limits. I mean seriously how the fuck can you tell me how much of MY MONEY I can spend in a day, true I have it set up that way cause I need to go to rehab for spending so much, but you have no right. I hate all you energetic, happy mothafuckas. Everytime I call "Hi Ms. T-Bone, What Can We Do For You Today"... Fuck You All, especially you Meagan since you're the one that I spoke to today.

Amazon.com. Thing is I'm a prime member and every so often, I think its like every two years, you have to renew your subscription to continue to get free 2-day shipping. Well I didn't know this until a couple of days ago, when I was reviewing my bank statement, and noticed this foreign charge of 80 bucks from them. So after about 10 mins of me cussing at the representative for this charge that I knew nothing about, which in all honesty is my own damn fault for not actually reading the fine lines, I just hung up the phone. I know its only 80 dollars, but that had me scared and shyt, thinking that Pablo or Consuela had stole my identity.

The Travel Channel. Mofos always tempting me, knowing good and damn well I can't take a vacay until August. It won't actually be a vacation, I'm just going to visit the fam down in Louisiana.

The fact that I am really missing my "Second" home, Houston, TX. Maybe I will extend the vacay and spend a few days there with some friends. I just got to get current on my Screw.

Thats it for tonight world, I could go on forever, but I have some more drankin to do. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

What A Day...

OMG, I seriously had one of them days at work to make a bitch say FUCK THIS!!! So I walk into the spot humming the Dora The Explorer Theme(I was watching it before work), and the minute I hit the door, I gets pummeled by at least 10 complaints about this guy who won't shut the fuck up about the war. Now if there's one thing that I know, its not to EVER talk about politics and religion at work. I found this out the hard way. So after about 20 minutes of intense debating with this ass clown as to why Obama is the most worthy candidate, I fled the scene, not because I wanted to(I STANS for a good debate) but because I had to. I Had to make a few phone calls. 2 O'Clock rolls around, I start to get excited cause for once no one called in and everyone is on time. I let out a big sigh of relief, only to regret that shit minutes later. So we just hired a new cook and today was his first day of training, so far so good right, thing is, the current cook who was suppose to do the training all of a sudden took sick after I laughed at him and told him that the Lakers suck. Well they do shit, its not like I was lying to the sonofabitch. Anyways I bargained with him to stay cause if he didn't do the shit my black ass is the only other person certified for the job. And besides, I was looking, smelling, and feeling like a million fucking bucks so no way I was gonna be on a hot ass line cooking for eight hours. Yep I was only lying to myself. You know it seems like every time I actually wear my hair down to work I end up cooking, same as with whenever I wear white, I ends up slanging dishes. Well damnit, a bitch gets tired of neutral fucking colors and having my hair in buns. Back to story, the beginning of the shift with, we are gonna call him Semi, was all cool. I showed him basically everything that he needed to know to survive a shift of cooking with me, I asked if he understood all of this, yes was the answer I received so cool. About four or five hours into shift we start to get busy, so I'm like move your ass Semi, we have at least 10 orders that we need to get out like yesterday, this is another reason why I don't like training I don't have the patience. This mothafucka gets slower, and I kinda lose my cool. Aside from the fact that I have been speaking Spanglish for hours upon hours cause this mothafucka doesn't know a drop of English, I was really feigning for a shot of something and cigarette, he was only making matters worst. Oh but I survived, 10 O'Clock rolled around and I sent that mothafucka home, showing him the areas that needed to be cleaned would have only extended my 10 hour shift to 20 and I, just NO!!! I begin cleaning the shit myself so I can get the fuck out of there, and low and behold one of The Mans Exes showed up to talk once again. In case you didn't know this is one of the Bitches that I was talking about in the last post, and now was not a good time for her and I to talk. She's on this you're black and don't deserve such a fine(as in upstanding, not sexy, though that he is) white man bullshit. We've had arguments that turned into me slapping the Bitch down many, many times before, but apparently that wasn't enough. She's been basically slandering me lately, on some real bullshit, and I've been letting that shit in one ear and out the other cause anyone who knows me, knows that all of the shit isn't true, but enough is enough damnit, and trust me I let the bitch know that, but in a very professional manner considering the fact that I was still at work and my employees really look up to me. Ended that shit real quick, got everything that I needed to done, and made it home in Mach 5 speed. It was just one of them days, all I can do is shake my head and be glad that its over. Now if only I could sit on Lenny Kravitz face, that would make it so much better right now, but since he isn't here and I don't feel like explaining to my baby why there's pussy juice all over Lenny's face, I'll just sit on his. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!

I Don't Think Its Legal...

My ass did it anyways. Alls I remember from last night is my social, and I barely remember that shit. I also found out that Mr.Wright takes these secret pics of me when I'm drunk and passed what we like to call In The Land Of No Bullshit, "The Fuck Out." Apparently I cuddled with my rug for a while last night, and later ended up showing my naked ass to my silk sheets. But you don't have to take my word for it, here is some proof.

Yep! I was OUT!!! Spread Eagle Both Ways




On My Way To Bed!!!




Watch Back of a Smiley


For those of you who really thought that I was gonna post pics of my nice apple bottom, to you dear sir or ma'am, well I'll let the smiley explain.

Yep, it was one of those nights, at least this time I didn't have to explain to the man why I came home smelling like Stetson, and rocking the Commando. Yes I was a good girl last night, no touching, flirting, or quickie-ing random men. Wheres my cookie damnit!!!

Until Next Time World...

I'LL HOLLA!!!

Side Note: Yep I'm Going To Church

Real Women Drink...

Drink Moet' Mimosa's for breakfast... Have Margarita's for lunch... Cosmo's for dinner... And Gin & Tonic Night Caps.

Here's a pic of my whole bar.


Two in one day, thats got to be a record for me, just wanted to get out a few post to last you through out the weekend. Its gonna be a weekend to remember...Hope yours is just as fabulous as mine. Until next time world...I'LL HOLLA!!!

Well Because I'm Vain...

And I miss you babe :(

Don't Want To Toot My Own Horn....

But Toot Mothafuckin Toot. I mean I am only a mere 21yrs old and am more successful than a lets say 25yr old. I am the BOSS, literally, been at the job for almost a year now and I can't complain. I finally decided as to what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, well besides my man, nursing is the path I'm taking. So UW here I come. My motivation, lets see, my childhood. I grew up in the fuckin slums of Baton Rouge, LA. I always told myself that if I ever get out of this place, I'm never coming back, physically yes, but emotionally, NEVER. My parents did the best that they could for us no doubt, but I always hungered for more. Now that I am finally able to taste freedom, I made a promise to myself to never fall off. True, when a bitch first came into such large quantities of money, there was a bunch of waste. I was trying to live up to our society's definition of living large, "Ballin" is what we call it. There was the constant shopping, the jewelry, the "making it rain" basically. I look back now like, bitch you was on some other shit. Today I'm a totally different woman, I've got my shit together if you will. Making investments, saving a lot of that money I used to blow, hell a bitch even put a nice down payment on a condo to share with the mans. I don't mean to brag, but I'm doing pretty well for a 21yr old wouldn't you agree? Until Next Time World... I'LL HOLLA...Oh and since I have a lot of them...

Hi Haters!!!!

Dear Mr. Dom Perignon...

Will You Marry Me... Because of you I'm so fucked up right now and loving it. I tell ya babe no one has ever made me feel this way. Its just something about you that I can't resist, maybe its your golden hue with glints of silver and green and very delicate, numerous and vivacious bubbles that form an unbroken ring in the glass, or maybe, the aromas of puree of apples, poached pears, vanilla, hazelnuts, melba toast and yellow-plum jam as well as superb hints of quince and chalk, but just maybe its because you're very fruity with flavours of very ripe light-coloured fruit. Whatever it is love, its good. So let me know, we've got a wedding to plan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! God my black ass is going to bed now before the mans wakes up from the hurting I put on that ass and accuse me of cheating on him with champagne. Until Next Time World, I'LL HOLLA!!!

God I'm A Sexy Drunk!!!!!

Fear Of Commitment....

Yes, I'm working on it. Normally by this time I would have found some kind of way to sabotage the relationship that I'm currently in because, well I don't have a good enough excuse. "I don't see myself being with you any longer," is what two of the exes heard, but all the while I was thinking "he's smothering me, I NEED MY SPACE." Fucked up, I know, but Men today just don't give me the want & need to want & need them, well besides my man of course, but more on him later. I mean most of the men that I have been with serious with, a total of three to be exact, were decent, hell one wowed me enough to marry him, but as I look back, neither one stood a chance. Men today are too soft, irresponsible, scared, immature, confused and etc. Lets elaborate on each of my convictions a little shall we.....

Too Soft- Kanye 'Nuff Said

Irresponsible- I was just on one of my favorite sites O Hell Nawl, so many comments on the "Behold A Lady" thread touched me but a single moms cry shook me to the core. I mean what ever happened to society(Men, This is a Man's World Isn't It) standing by women, praising her because she bears life, loving her, protecting her, respecting her, lifting her higher, the words bitch and hoe wouldn't have even been uttered to a notoriously known whore, Why you say, out of the respect and fact that she is a Woman. The "Children Having Children" rate would be diminished out of the fact that Fathers would actually play a part in their lives, therefore relinquishing the phenomena of "Single Moms." But whats in the past is only a mere reflection of the present. To actually have men "Step Up To The Plate" is a little too much to ask now is it, they would rather degrade women in musical lyrics and million dollar videos(true we allow this to occur, but as men, supposed leaders, a line should be drawn), impregnate us only to leave when the words are uttered, and etc... Don't get me wrong there may be a lot of men out there in which this has absolutely nothing to do with, but pretty much the majority of men nowadays fall into at least one of the categories. Moving on now shall we....

Scared- Now this is just my observation of Black Men, being that I'm black, and the only "outside of race" relationship that I've been in is my current one. I once asked a male friend of mine what is it about other race women that attracts you to them more than a black woman? The answer I received was shocking and in my opinion just insane, "See with a black woman, more work is involved, its harder to please her. Now with chicks of other races, they settle, happier with what you give them and you don't have to work so hard to get the ass." What!?!?! I've never... Don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against interracial dating but the thought of a black man not wanting anything to do with a black woman because she isn't "easy" in all aspects of a relationship makes me a little salty.

Immature- I think my notion above pretty much sums up this one too.

Confused And Etc- I'm filing the DL situation under this one. Men, Men, Men, please decide on as to what it is exactly that you want. Stop making us suffer from the lies, pain, and in some cases diseases because either you're to scared to admit to this or ashamed. Either way, please stop. So many of my sisters are dying because of your pride, and your ego's, when are you going to realize this? If you are man enough to get low, than be man enough to let us know something, please, for the sake of the continuation of "Beautiful Black People", and all others.

Now that I have given a little more insight as to why I usually bash all of my relationships, let me just say that this was never a problem to me, because I had my reasons. Now being in my current relationship, for once, I'm willing to work on this little flaw that I have. For once I am seeing that there is hope for the male species out there, and this is one relationship I won't be ending because of my fear of commitment. So for those who were wondering why I Bitch-slapped him this morning, well, cause I can damnit... Had to let him know who the boss is at all times, work, play, shit it don't matter. Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!

A Real Post...

Later on today, I only got out of bed to Bitch-Slap the man before he left for work(long story), and to check the e-mail. So wait just a little bit longer world, until then, I'LL HOLLA!!!