Mothers Day...Oh The Horror

This is the first year that I am NOT pulling out my hair trying to figure out what fabulous gift to get the LADY that gave me life. Oh no not this year, I'm too cool for that...


Every year about this time I ask the simple question, "so what do you want for Mothers Day", and every year I gets the same answer, "Oh whatever YOU want to get me is fine..."

Damnit, I don't know thats why I asked!!! *Of course I didn't say this to her because I'm pretty sure that she would have invented some kind of way to MURDER me through the phone. The headlines WOULD be evoking and that shit would SELL like free ass, and she'd have the nerve to catch a damn attitude when I ask to borrow a DOLLA...*

I mean really what are you ACTUALLY suppose to give a mother, a thank- you card? Thats just tacky and wrong on so many levels, I found this out the hard way...

So last year, I got her a gift certificate to the best damn spa in A-town, Louisiana, which was a bad call. About a month after Mothers Day, we had THIS convo...

Moi- Did you check out that spa yet?
The Moms- No, don't really have time.
Moi- What do you mean you don't have time, you have nothing but time
The Moms- Well I just don't like having random people feeling me up
Moi- What? This coming from the lady who has an obsession with strippers(male). I would have gotten you one, but I'm almost certain you're hubby wouldn't appreciate the gesture.
The Moms- *Laughing* I know right, I don't know baby, spa's just ain't my thing
Moi- Sorry...I promise to get ya something that you'll enjoy next year...

This year after constant nagging, and a few threats to get her that stripper, I finally got her to tell me exactly what she wants. I know my wallet will thank me for it later...




So... I got THE MOMS a ROLEX (2500.00 isn't cheap by the way AMAZON), and SIX, count em up, SIX bottles of LE' GREY GOOSE. She loves that shit, apparently she's having a cocktail party of some sort and needs all that damn liquor. Cocktail party my ass, she just wants to get loose off the goose, well at least she can show off her roley while doing it...


Ahhh, I need a drink.