Wonder Woman Is Burned Out

She was born on December 30, 1986 at the exact time of 10:06 a.m.. The mother was so proud of her beautiful little black angel of 8 pounds 6 ounces, she decided to give her the name of a beautiful maiden. Her father, no where in sight, so on that day, at that exact moment, she decided that he wasn't needed, for she would be her all in all. Her childhood was average so to speak. She had everything she needed, and most of her wants. Her mother was there when the cuts and bruises of life began to take a toll on her spirit, and would say something so simple as "I Love You" to ease the burden of this cruel world.

For the first time I'm my life, last night, exact time unknown, I felt hopeless. The only thing that kept me from giving up, was the thought of my mother. Her strength, my strength, her teachings, my wisdom, her pain, my pain, her love, my heart, her prayers, MY LIFE! To be honest I really don't know what caused me to break down, I was watching a documentary with my BETTER HALF, and tears just began to roll down my face like a leaky faucet. All of these emotions just tumbled down upon me at once "Why did you do this, didn't do that, when, what, who, where, and why". For hours upon hours I evaluated my past and present situation, and it seemed that no matter how much I tried to just push these emotions aside like I normally do, my inner-being wasn't having it. This time I had to face the reality that I am filled, but yet starving, warm, but baby it's cold outside, together, but it always seems like something is missing. I had to face the fact that I may never be able to love a man completely because of being molested as a child. This man took something from me that damn well didn't belong to him, and now because of it I have trust and faith issues so my relationships are rocky from the start. I had to face the fact that the miscarriage wasn't my fault, it just wasn't our time. I had to face the fact that, this is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, a change is needed. I had to face the fact that it's OKAY to take a five minute break, from the pursuit of my happiness and etc...

I called my mother early this morning, after I assured(lied, which she knew (mothers instinct)) her that everything was okay, we had a pretty uplifting chat. She knew that I wasn't strong enough, so she doubled her strength. She knew that my faith was just about diminished, so she prayed for us both. She knew that, I just didn't know what to do, so she gave me suggestions. You know, words can't express how much I love and need her, Mr. Wright did all that he possibly could for me in that situation(poor baby), but I know that it was truly my mother who shined the light.