Hola!! Saludo Fam, how the hells are ya, madam T is feeling pretty damn good right about now...Considering the fact that I was handing out free ass-whooping coupons earlier today...I'm soooo full of joy at this present moment, maybe its cause I gots me some of that daddy long-stroke...Who knows...Anywayz, I promised to speak on the insane weekend(More like insane Friday) I had so here goes, ya ready...
After the fact that I was canoodled into fucking up my equilibrium by going FISHING..."Come on now, I would have rather set my cooch on fire than to do some UN-GODLY shit as such"...I was good...Got together with one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, Sierra(The black blow-up doll) and some acquaintances...Celebrated the 4th in the no bytchassedness basher style that we are so familiar with...F got so drunk...My baby was LEANING son...This is the man who has a few beers and calls it a night...But on Friday his ass was tore up...Ya best believe I took at least a hundred photos of him in his drunkness...Karma is a bitch...Partied hearty...We had some of them missile style fireworks that shoots off about 300 rounds...Can you imagine a bunch of black (F is an exception) drunk folk shooting rockets and shit...What a sight...Took our asses home around dawn...We must have been pretty inebriated...Woke up and ALL of the appliances were on, i.e. the T.V.s, DVD players, the dack-swang charger...I'm questioning Boston like "Don't lie to me, did you turn all of this on?"
Saturday was the day of recuperation...Did much of nothing but nurse each others hangovers and soreness of the naughty areas...I've only had one drunken fuck fest with F before...The man turns into the Incredible Hulk...Not something that I wants on a regular...The cooch has stretch marks afterwards...Doing hours of Kegel exercises to get back to normal is no fun...And that is NOT HOT...The highlight of the day was the convo I had with S.M...If I'm not mistaken it went a little something like this...
Moi-"Hi Bay"
S.M.-"I needs some dick"
Moi-"Well get straight to the point why don't you, don't ask me how I'm doing"
S.M.-"I really need some dick"
Moi-"Well Safeway is having that Great Meat Sale once again, and at least you get a money back guarantee if you're not completely satisfied"
S.M.-"My horniness is a joke to you"
Moi-"Yes maam, I really don't feel sorry for you. What, don't you have about 19 fuck buddies and yet you still need some dick. I just don't understand"
S.M.-"Let me rephrase, I need dick with stability"
Moi-*Chokes on the refreshing Mojito I was inhaling* (Sierra is anti-relationship and to hear she is willing to be in one made me ask for forgiveness for the end is near)"The hell?!?!?! Are you drunk?"
S.M.-"Maybe, but you have no proof. Seriously though, I want a man."
Moi-"Well with your track-record you should have no problem finding one"
S.M.-"I hate you"
Moi-"No you don't, I'm just saying there is no way possible you will be happy with one man, at least at the current moment. Once you start to get your grown woman on then its a possibility."
S.M.-"So are you saying that I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship"
Moi- "Not mature as in childish, more on the lines of the man would have to be Zeus or some shit like that to make you not stray from the path of righteousness."
S.M.- "I guess you're right, would you happen to have Zeus's number, I'm still in need of some dick, stability or not"
Moi-"On that note I'm hanging up, right now. Bye, you crazy woman."
I don't even know why I entertains this hooker...She has no sense...Anyways, Sunday nothing dramatic occurred...I did get pretty twisted though...And payed for that shit today...Well thats it Fam, the sexiness that goes by the name of T is about to lay it down...Until Next Time World...I'LL HOLLA!!!!
Update: Sorry Fam, no time for a real post so I will just do a bunch of updating...Anyways we really need to go grocery shopping...
Do y'all see what F has me surviving on,Bucket O Mojito, and Condiments...I love this man...
I just want to say thanks to the man/woman who came up with the idea of Bucket Mojito...Thank you so much, hell its less work for me...Just pour and go...
"Y'all ain't nevah got matching shyt, kool-aid no sugar, peanut butter no jelly."
4 comments:
I want to know why I wasn't invited to the fuck fest. I could have at least brought some punch or something.
I'm still waiting on Zeus's number............And waiting..........
Can you just take a day from coontinis and buy some damn food.., damn!
LMAO...Jhazz both of us are just lazy when it comes to grocery shopping...To be honest with ya, we usually just buy what is needed for dinner and whatever is left over, throw that shyt away...Either that or just dine out...
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